The Leadership Trait that Changes Everything

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I am a lifetime, avid Cleveland Browns fan. I know. Thank you for your prayers. I am more optimistic now than I have been in many years. Part of that hope is some great young players. But another factor is the new head coach. Freddie Kitchens is a down to earth and positive influence on the field. He asks each player what plays they like to run and then implements their ideas into the game plan. The players were blown away by that level of personal involvement.

My first reaction was “why is that deemed unusual”? Why wouldn’t a leader want buy-in and ownership of the game plan? Why wouldn’t a leader create a culture of affirmation? As General Dwight Eisenhower wisely observed. “You don’t lead by hitting people over the head — that’s assault, not leadership.” 

A recent book entitled The Carrot Principle by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton concluded that appreciation might well be the missing accelerator for happiness and self-esteem. Based on a ten-year study that interviewed 200,000 people, Gostick and Elton conclude that appreciation tops the list of things employees say they want from their bosses. For those who worked in offices with high morale an amazing 94 percent reported that they were shown appreciation. Not surprisingly, when employees quit nearly 80 percent cited lack of appreciation as the number one reason.

We have a fundamental need to be affirmed. The authors were surprised at how sparingly this blessing is given to others. That is a wonderful way that you can serve others. Simply affirm and bless them in their gifts and skills.

Affirmation is a game changer for all of us. Here is a snippet about affirmation from my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

We should not be surprised that people respond positively when they are told how much they matter. More important, we matter to God. His Word is full of affirmation for those who choose to trust Him.

To all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.
(John 1:12, NLT)

You are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
(1 Peter 2:9-10, The Message)

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
(Ephesians 1:4, NLT)

We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10, NLT)

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
(John 15:15, ESV)

Jesus calls me His friend. Even when those around you are failing to fill up your affirmation bucket, you can still go to Scripture and find out how God feels about you. Is there a more important affirmation than that? When you believe that your heavenly Father recognizes your worth, it gets easier to find things to affirm in others. How can I suffer from a poor self-image if this is true? Jesus calls me friend, for goodness’ sake!

Affirmation is a powerful tool of God’s redemptive grace. Grace says you can still be loved and accepted even after you make terrible decisions and do bad things. That is exactly what happened when God reached out to love me (and you) after our own terrible decisions and bad actions.

When you see leaders who are loved and admired by everyone I suspect you will find this common trait. They are a full time affirmation bucket filler for everyone around them. Are you willing to swap judgement for affirmation? It will be a game changer for you and those you affirm.

It is especially vital for leaders to practice grace and affirmation. I love this insight from author/pastor Max Lucado. “A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.”

Jesus of Nazareth also had some wisdom for leaders.

But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Luke 22:26 – NLT

Read the first chapter of Stay:Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace by clicking this link.

 

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Larry Elder is an American lawyer, writer, and radio and television personality who calls himself the "Sage of South Central" a district of Los Angeles, Larry says his philosophy is to entertain, inform, provoke and to hopefully uplift. His calling card is "we have a country to save" and to him this means returning to the bedrock Constitutional principles of limited government and maximum personal responsibility. Elder's iconoclastic wit and intellectual agility makes him a particularly attractive voice in a nation that seems weary of traditional racial dialogue.” – Los Angeles Times.

Mike Gallagher Mike Gallagher began his broadcasting career in 1978 in Dayton, Ohio. Today, he is one of the most listened-to talk radio show hosts in America, recently having been ranked in the Talkers Magazine “Heavy Hundred” list – the 100 most important talk radio hosts in America. Prior to being launched into national syndication in 1998, Mike hosted the morning show on WABC-AM in New York City. Today, Talkers Magazine reports that his show is heard by over 3.75 million weekly listeners. Besides his radio work, Mike is seen on Fox News Channel as an on-air contributor, frequently appearing on the cable news giant.

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Michelle Malkin is a mother, wife, blogger, conservative syndicated columnist, longtime cable TV news commentator, and best-selling author of six books. She started her newspaper journalism career at the Los Angeles Daily News in 1992, moved to the Seattle Times in 1995, and has been penning nationally syndicated newspaper columns for Creators Syndicate since 1999. She is founder of conservative Internet start-ups Hot Air and Twitchy.com. Malkin has received numerous awards for her investigative journalism, including the Council on Governmental Ethics Laws (COGEL) national award for outstanding service for the cause of governmental ethics and leadership (1998), the Reed Irvine Accuracy in Media Award for Investigative Journalism (2006), the Heritage Foundation and Franklin Center for Government & Public Integrity's Breitbart Award for Excellence in Journalism (2013), the Center for Immigration Studies' Eugene Katz Award for Excellence in the Coverage of Immigration Award (2016), and the Manhattan Film Festival's Film Heals Award (2018). Married for 26 years and the mother of two teenage children, she lives with her family in Colorado. Follow her at michellemalkin.com. (Photo reprinted with kind permission from Peter Duke Photography.)

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The Leadership Trait that Changes Everything

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Audio By Carbonatix

I am a lifetime, avid Cleveland Browns fan. I know. Thank you for your prayers. I am more optimistic now than I have been in many years. Part of that hope is some great young players. But another factor is the new head coach. Freddie Kitchens is a down to earth and positive influence on the field. He asks each player what plays they like to run and then implements their ideas into the game plan. The players were blown away by that level of personal involvement.

My first reaction was “why is that deemed unusual”? Why wouldn’t a leader want buy-in and ownership of the game plan? Why wouldn’t a leader create a culture of affirmation? As General Dwight Eisenhower wisely observed. “You don’t lead by hitting people over the head — that’s assault, not leadership.” 

A recent book entitled The Carrot Principle by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton concluded that appreciation might well be the missing accelerator for happiness and self-esteem. Based on a ten-year study that interviewed 200,000 people, Gostick and Elton conclude that appreciation tops the list of things employees say they want from their bosses. For those who worked in offices with high morale an amazing 94 percent reported that they were shown appreciation. Not surprisingly, when employees quit nearly 80 percent cited lack of appreciation as the number one reason.

We have a fundamental need to be affirmed. The authors were surprised at how sparingly this blessing is given to others. That is a wonderful way that you can serve others. Simply affirm and bless them in their gifts and skills.

Affirmation is a game changer for all of us. Here is a snippet about affirmation from my book Stay: Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace.

We should not be surprised that people respond positively when they are told how much they matter. More important, we matter to God. His Word is full of affirmation for those who choose to trust Him.

To all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God.
(John 1:12, NLT)

You are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
(1 Peter 2:9-10, The Message)

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
(Ephesians 1:4, NLT)

We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10, NLT)

No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
(John 15:15, ESV)

Jesus calls me His friend. Even when those around you are failing to fill up your affirmation bucket, you can still go to Scripture and find out how God feels about you. Is there a more important affirmation than that? When you believe that your heavenly Father recognizes your worth, it gets easier to find things to affirm in others. How can I suffer from a poor self-image if this is true? Jesus calls me friend, for goodness’ sake!

Affirmation is a powerful tool of God’s redemptive grace. Grace says you can still be loved and accepted even after you make terrible decisions and do bad things. That is exactly what happened when God reached out to love me (and you) after our own terrible decisions and bad actions.

When you see leaders who are loved and admired by everyone I suspect you will find this common trait. They are a full time affirmation bucket filler for everyone around them. Are you willing to swap judgement for affirmation? It will be a game changer for you and those you affirm.

It is especially vital for leaders to practice grace and affirmation. I love this insight from author/pastor Max Lucado. “A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.”

Jesus of Nazareth also had some wisdom for leaders.

But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Luke 22:26 – NLT

Read the first chapter of Stay:Lessons My Dogs Taught Me about Life, Loss, and Grace by clicking this link.

 

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