1. Help with tedious chores.

I live in New England, where we must deal with winter, spring, summer, and fall. Each season comes with its own set of tedious chores. Winter can mean shoveling snow. Spring and summer can mean having to mow the lawn and do yard work. While the fall foliage is beautiful, it only means you are about to have a yard full of leaves, and someone must rake them up. Depending on where you live, that can mean lots of leaves. Have you considered that there may be people in your church who cannot do these types of chores anymore because they can be physically demanding? A simple idea would be to offer these types of services to people who need them. This won’t cost you money, but you will most likely break a sweat.

2. Cook a meal.

A great way to support another church member may be by cooking them a meal. By the way, it helps if you are an excellent cook, but if not, then it is okay to have food delivered. In our church, when people are facing tough moments, it could be sickness or some other issue, it is not uncommon to help people by providing meals for them. This may not totally be without cost, but it comes as a great blessing to those who give it and those who receive it. I know because I have been on both sides of this scenario.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Ziga Plahutar 

3. Donate gently used items.

If you look in your closet right now, do you have clothes sitting there with the tags still on them? Maybe you have something you wore once two years ago and have not worn it since. If it isn’t clothes, it could be something else. Regardless, there may be people in your church who could use those things. Rather than throwing them away or donating to goodwill, why not see if there are people in the congregation who could use them? When I was moving, I had a bedroom set I could not take with me. I found someone who needed it, and they were so happy to receive it. Yes, you can still donate to charity, but it is so much better to know who has received your items and the need it met.

4. Offer to pray for them.

If there is one thing every church member needs, it is prayer. Perhaps prayer is the most important thing you can do for someone because it can affect their lives at different levels. The best part about prayer is it only takes your time and commitment. I know it is so inspiring to me when people tell me they are praying for me and my family. It truly lifts my spirit.

If you are not sure how to pray for someone, just ask them. Within the natural flow of conversation, just say these simple words. How can I pray for you? Once they tell you, then be diligent and pray for them. I would even take it one step further. The next time you see them, ask them how the thing you are praying for is going in their life. Not only will they appreciate you remembering - you are also taking steps toward building community in the church.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Sarah Brown 

5. Offer to mentor or disciple.

In the Great Commission, Jesus talks about discipleship. What would it cost you to pour your knowledge, experience, and wisdom into someone else? That is truly what discipleship is. This is another way of offering help that does not have to cost money. At its core, discipleship and mentoring are all about building relationships. Ask God to bring people into your life who you can mentor or disciple. After praying, ask the leaders in your church for the opportunity to serve in this capacity as well. This is a fantastic way to help someone along in their journey with Jesus, and the fruit of this can have an eternal impact.

6. Offer words of encouragement.

In today’s world, we have access to more means of communication than ever before. You can call, video chat, text, email, and even the old-fashioned handwriting a letter (do people even do this anymore?) These are all free ways of communication you can use to encourage or uplift someone else. While all are valid forms of communication, some have a higher value or influence than others. If I were going to rank these from the most effective or highest impact to the lowest, I would say call or video, handwritten letter, email, then text. Listen, there are various ways to give encouragement, so pick one and use your ability to lift people up.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/evgenyatamanenko 

7. Offer a ride.

This might be less common in suburban settings because most people have cars. However, I grew up in NYC and it was not unusual for people to not have cars and rely on public transportation to go everywhere. I would even make the argument that NYC is one of the few cities in the world where not having a car does not diminish your lifestyle at all. Yet there are moments when it helps to have a car. When I used to go to church in Queens, there was a gentleman who would take the subway home after church. He lived in the Bronx, and for him, this was a two-hour commute. Knowing this, whenever we were in church, we would always drop him in the Bronx because it was on our way home and more convenient for him. This didn’t cost us anything, but it helped him tremendously. Those car rides also helped us get to know him better, which helped build community as well.

8. Listen.

Perhaps one of the simplest yet most overlooked ways to support a fellow church member is by listening. Our culture today is a speaking and reacting culture. We rarely make room for listening. However, sometimes people are looking for an ear and not a mouth. Before they get an answer, they want to ensure someone hears them and understands their situation. One challenge of attempting to listen is we often listen to respond instead of listening to understand. Listening to respond means, at some point, you stop listening because you are thinking of what you are going to say next. Listening to understand means you focus your attention on what that person is saying, period. For most people, that is what they desire. So offer your ears as listening ears. Ask questions that clarify what they are saying to fully understand their situation. You might eventually respond, but even if you can’t, they will appreciate that you allowed them to share their heart.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Wavebreakmedia 

9. Offer respite.

This could be the simplest yet most overlooked way to support fellow church members. If you know a family in your church that has a child with special needs, the one thing they can all use is a break. So often there are things you may want to do that having a child with special needs makes a lot more challenging. It can include things as simple as going to the grocery store, going to the barber or hair salon, or just being able to have a few hours of quiet all to yourself. These issues are real, and this applies not only to parents who have children with special needs but it applies to caregivers as well. If you know people who are in these situations, and you can offer respite, then do it. One simple caveat you may not have thought about. Don’t offer to buy the groceries for them, but give them the time to shop themselves. They will appreciate that time out of the house, even if it is only for a few hours. Since I am a parent of a child with special needs, I can assure you most parents will appreciate this.

10. Remember the milestones.

A simple way to offer support is to celebrate milestones. If you know when birthdays or anniversaries or any other milestones are happening, you can send a simple card with a handwritten note in it to acknowledge those occasions. Doing this is nothing more than showing someone you care about them. I know I have used this word before, but this is how you build community and this makes people feel like they belong.

11. Fellowship with them.

The last way I will mention to offer support is through fellowship. This can happen in different ways. Maybe you can chat over coffee after the service. You can invite someone over to watch the football game or share a meal. If there are things you have in common, like sports, working out, or some other hobbies, offer to do it with them. These don’t cost extra money because it was money you were spending anyway, but they offer support and can go a long way in building relationships.

Related Resource: The Mental Health Handbook for Ministry: Practical Ways to Support the Church’s Mental & Emotional Well-Being

In today’s episode, Counselor, author, and educator Dr. Mark Mayfield equips pastors, ministry leaders, and volunteers with practical tools to support mental health in the church. This conversation between Drs. Zach and Mark bridge clinical wisdom, spiritual formation, and the realities of shepherding people through emotional struggles. Dr. Mayfield unpacks how to recognize signs of distress, create safe spaces for honest conversations, and respond to crisis moments with clarity and compassion. He discusses the importance of boundaries in ministry, the role of community in healing, and simple, evidence-based practices that help churches foster emotional resilience, spiritual growth, and relational safety. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow The Built Different Podcast on Apple, Spotify or YouTube so you never miss an episode!

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Mladen Zivkovic 

1. Help with tedious chores.

I live in New England, where we must deal with winter, spring, summer, and fall. Each season comes with its own set of tedious chores. Winter can mean shoveling snow. Spring and summer can mean having to mow the lawn and do yard work. While the fall foliage is beautiful, it only means you are about to have a yard full of leaves, and someone must rake them up. Depending on where you live, that can mean lots of leaves. Have you considered that there may be people in your church who cannot do these types of chores anymore because they can be physically demanding? A simple idea would be to offer these types of services to people who need them. This won’t cost you money, but you will most likely break a sweat.

2. Cook a meal.

A great way to support another church member may be by cooking them a meal. By the way, it helps if you are an excellent cook, but if not, then it is okay to have food delivered. In our church, when people are facing tough moments, it could be sickness or some other issue, it is not uncommon to help people by providing meals for them. This may not totally be without cost, but it comes as a great blessing to those who give it and those who receive it. I know because I have been on both sides of this scenario.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Ziga Plahutar 

3. Donate gently used items.

If you look in your closet right now, do you have clothes sitting there with the tags still on them? Maybe you have something you wore once two years ago and have not worn it since. If it isn’t clothes, it could be something else. Regardless, there may be people in your church who could use those things. Rather than throwing them away or donating to goodwill, why not see if there are people in the congregation who could use them? When I was moving, I had a bedroom set I could not take with me. I found someone who needed it, and they were so happy to receive it. Yes, you can still donate to charity, but it is so much better to know who has received your items and the need it met.

4. Offer to pray for them.

If there is one thing every church member needs, it is prayer. Perhaps prayer is the most important thing you can do for someone because it can affect their lives at different levels. The best part about prayer is it only takes your time and commitment. I know it is so inspiring to me when people tell me they are praying for me and my family. It truly lifts my spirit.

If you are not sure how to pray for someone, just ask them. Within the natural flow of conversation, just say these simple words. How can I pray for you? Once they tell you, then be diligent and pray for them. I would even take it one step further. The next time you see them, ask them how the thing you are praying for is going in their life. Not only will they appreciate you remembering - you are also taking steps toward building community in the church.

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Sarah Brown 

5. Offer to mentor or disciple.

In the Great Commission, Jesus talks about discipleship. What would it cost you to pour your knowledge, experience, and wisdom into someone else? That is truly what discipleship is. This is another way of offering help that does not have to cost money. At its core, discipleship and mentoring are all about building relationships. Ask God to bring people into your life who you can mentor or disciple. After praying, ask the leaders in your church for the opportunity to serve in this capacity as well. This is a fantastic way to help someone along in their journey with Jesus, and the fruit of this can have an eternal impact.

6. Offer words of encouragement.

In today’s world, we have access to more means of communication than ever before. You can call, video chat, text, email, and even the old-fashioned handwriting a letter (do people even do this anymore?) These are all free ways of communication you can use to encourage or uplift someone else. While all are valid forms of communication, some have a higher value or influence than others. If I were going to rank these from the most effective or highest impact to the lowest, I would say call or video, handwritten letter, email, then text. Listen, there are various ways to give encouragement, so pick one and use your ability to lift people up.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/evgenyatamanenko 

7. Offer a ride.

This might be less common in suburban settings because most people have cars. However, I grew up in NYC and it was not unusual for people to not have cars and rely on public transportation to go everywhere. I would even make the argument that NYC is one of the few cities in the world where not having a car does not diminish your lifestyle at all. Yet there are moments when it helps to have a car. When I used to go to church in Queens, there was a gentleman who would take the subway home after church. He lived in the Bronx, and for him, this was a two-hour commute. Knowing this, whenever we were in church, we would always drop him in the Bronx because it was on our way home and more convenient for him. This didn’t cost us anything, but it helped him tremendously. Those car rides also helped us get to know him better, which helped build community as well.

8. Listen.

Perhaps one of the simplest yet most overlooked ways to support a fellow church member is by listening. Our culture today is a speaking and reacting culture. We rarely make room for listening. However, sometimes people are looking for an ear and not a mouth. Before they get an answer, they want to ensure someone hears them and understands their situation. One challenge of attempting to listen is we often listen to respond instead of listening to understand. Listening to respond means, at some point, you stop listening because you are thinking of what you are going to say next. Listening to understand means you focus your attention on what that person is saying, period. For most people, that is what they desire. So offer your ears as listening ears. Ask questions that clarify what they are saying to fully understand their situation. You might eventually respond, but even if you can’t, they will appreciate that you allowed them to share their heart.

Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Wavebreakmedia 

9. Offer respite.

This could be the simplest yet most overlooked way to support fellow church members. If you know a family in your church that has a child with special needs, the one thing they can all use is a break. So often there are things you may want to do that having a child with special needs makes a lot more challenging. It can include things as simple as going to the grocery store, going to the barber or hair salon, or just being able to have a few hours of quiet all to yourself. These issues are real, and this applies not only to parents who have children with special needs but it applies to caregivers as well. If you know people who are in these situations, and you can offer respite, then do it. One simple caveat you may not have thought about. Don’t offer to buy the groceries for them, but give them the time to shop themselves. They will appreciate that time out of the house, even if it is only for a few hours. Since I am a parent of a child with special needs, I can assure you most parents will appreciate this.

10. Remember the milestones.

A simple way to offer support is to celebrate milestones. If you know when birthdays or anniversaries or any other milestones are happening, you can send a simple card with a handwritten note in it to acknowledge those occasions. Doing this is nothing more than showing someone you care about them. I know I have used this word before, but this is how you build community and this makes people feel like they belong.

11. Fellowship with them.

The last way I will mention to offer support is through fellowship. This can happen in different ways. Maybe you can chat over coffee after the service. You can invite someone over to watch the football game or share a meal. If there are things you have in common, like sports, working out, or some other hobbies, offer to do it with them. These don’t cost extra money because it was money you were spending anyway, but they offer support and can go a long way in building relationships.

Related Resource: The Mental Health Handbook for Ministry: Practical Ways to Support the Church’s Mental & Emotional Well-Being

In today’s episode, Counselor, author, and educator Dr. Mark Mayfield equips pastors, ministry leaders, and volunteers with practical tools to support mental health in the church. This conversation between Drs. Zach and Mark bridge clinical wisdom, spiritual formation, and the realities of shepherding people through emotional struggles. Dr. Mayfield unpacks how to recognize signs of distress, create safe spaces for honest conversations, and respond to crisis moments with clarity and compassion. He discusses the importance of boundaries in ministry, the role of community in healing, and simple, evidence-based practices that help churches foster emotional resilience, spiritual growth, and relational safety. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow The Built Different Podcast on Apple, Spotify or YouTube so you never miss an episode!

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Mladen Zivkovic