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Can Faith Really Help Your Marriage?

By: Noelle Kirchner

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Marriage is not an easy undertaking. The best things in life usually aren’t—and God wants marriage to be one of those best things. So how can we live this redeemed vision of marriage? There are three ways that faith can help.

First, faith can help you choose your partner.

Your spouse is the most important, and likely the only, family member you can choose. Further, your spouse has the power to affect every area of your life because of your bond—from family, friends, work, faith, and financial decisions. That makes your spousal choice one of the most important decisions you will ever make.

Oftentimes, physical attraction is central in our culture. While attraction is important, endorphins fade with time. That’s why lasting marriage is a choice—not a feeling. Having a holistic understanding of the marital relationship can help you choose wisely. When other components besides physical attraction are on track as well, sex serves as a bonding tool to keep the marriage strong. Those other components are mental, emotional, and spiritual.

A mental pairing is important because couples who are paired intellectually will enjoy each other’s company and discussions for years to come. An emotional pairing means that the relationship is fun and a safe place for growth and conflict. Though often overlooked, a spiritual pairing is important, too, because when couples share a common faith, they have a backbone stronger than mere goodwill. They have a rock to stand on when they face life’s inevitable challenges and share a similar value base when making decisions. They can pray together, live out God’s instruction to support each other, and transmit faith to their children. This is God’s design for Christians (2 Cor. 6:14).

Second, faith can help you honor your marriage commitment.

The current divorce rate in the United States is 40–50% of first marriages. Further, 75% of divorcing individuals cite lack of commitment as one reason for their divorce. A lack of commitment is not God’s design, because marriage is rooted in covenant. That’s why a husband and wife become one flesh before God in marriage.

While God’s vision of marriage is covenantal, not all marriages remain intact. Adultery and abuse are often reasons for dissolution. And though there is relief in dissolution, there are usually ripple effects for years to come. Outside of extenuating circumstances, however, God challenges us to live into a healthy covenant.

Our love for God should inspire us to live honorably in our marriages. A married friend exclaimed over lunch recently, “Marriage is one of the biggest sacrifices of your life!” The longer I am married, the more I believe that’s true. She is referring to a daily discipline of sacrifice for our marriage and family. This sacrifice concerns how we choose to handle conflict, how well we listen, and how willing we are to serve God and each other. In other words, it concerns how willing we are to be vulnerable and to love. I heard one Catholic theologian cite an applicable catechism recently: “To love is to will the good of another.”

Third, faith can unlock fulfillment through your marriage.

It is a great gift to have a spouse who has pledged to be with you no matter what befalls in life. You can stand together when life’s curveballs come your way. You can form a team as you parent. You can explore sexual intimacy in a safe environment, which is necessary for it to truly thrive. You can partner to see the fruition of God’s vision for your lives.

Marriage is a font of God’s greatest blessings to humankind because it reflects his unconditional love through covenant. God designed marriage to be a safe refuge, a partnership that seeks the good of another before one’s own. Pastor Timothy Keller describes God’s true nature in Jesus is King as loving and communal, as evidenced by the “dance” of the Trinity. Therefore, since God made us in his image, we are happiest in loving, communion-building relationships, such as marriage.

God can use faith to help us choose our spouse, nurture our commitment to our spouse, and bloom with our spouse—that’s how it helps!

Let’s Pray: Loving Father, may my marriage be a safe haven of love and commitment, and may You use it to shine Your light as You equip us to serve one another. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Application: What are the things that drew you to your spouse? What do you do to tend your marriage spiritually?

Challenge: Consider something special that you can do to honor your commitment to your spouse, and do it to glorify God. See what God does with your faithfulness.

Rev. Noelle Kirchner, M.Div., is a Presbyterian pastor who has served in both church and hospital settings. She’s also a Midwesterner who married her college sweetheart, and together they are raising their three boys in New Jersey. Her training includes Northwestern University (B.A., Religious Studies) and Princeton Theological Seminary, along with almost twenty years in ministry. She is a regular contributor to Crosswalk and has also published work with HuffPost Parents, Propel Women, (in)courage, iBelieve, and the TODAY Show Parenting Team, among others. Her cable television show, Chaos to Calm, featured parenting hot topics and prominent guests, including Candace Cameron Bure. You can watch her episodes on-demand and sign up for her free devotional e-book by visiting her website, noellekirchner.com. Connect with her on social media (X, Instagram, and Facebook) and check out her book, How to Live Your Life Purpose: The Six-Step Journey to God’s Best.

We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.

Audio By Carbonatix

Can Faith Really Help Your Marriage?

By: Noelle Kirchner

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6)

Marriage is not an easy undertaking. The best things in life usually aren’t—and God wants marriage to be one of those best things. So how can we live this redeemed vision of marriage? There are three ways that faith can help.

First, faith can help you choose your partner.

Your spouse is the most important, and likely the only, family member you can choose. Further, your spouse has the power to affect every area of your life because of your bond—from family, friends, work, faith, and financial decisions. That makes your spousal choice one of the most important decisions you will ever make.

Oftentimes, physical attraction is central in our culture. While attraction is important, endorphins fade with time. That’s why lasting marriage is a choice—not a feeling. Having a holistic understanding of the marital relationship can help you choose wisely. When other components besides physical attraction are on track as well, sex serves as a bonding tool to keep the marriage strong. Those other components are mental, emotional, and spiritual.

A mental pairing is important because couples who are paired intellectually will enjoy each other’s company and discussions for years to come. An emotional pairing means that the relationship is fun and a safe place for growth and conflict. Though often overlooked, a spiritual pairing is important, too, because when couples share a common faith, they have a backbone stronger than mere goodwill. They have a rock to stand on when they face life’s inevitable challenges and share a similar value base when making decisions. They can pray together, live out God’s instruction to support each other, and transmit faith to their children. This is God’s design for Christians (2 Cor. 6:14).

Second, faith can help you honor your marriage commitment.

The current divorce rate in the United States is 40–50% of first marriages. Further, 75% of divorcing individuals cite lack of commitment as one reason for their divorce. A lack of commitment is not God’s design, because marriage is rooted in covenant. That’s why a husband and wife become one flesh before God in marriage.

While God’s vision of marriage is covenantal, not all marriages remain intact. Adultery and abuse are often reasons for dissolution. And though there is relief in dissolution, there are usually ripple effects for years to come. Outside of extenuating circumstances, however, God challenges us to live into a healthy covenant.

Our love for God should inspire us to live honorably in our marriages. A married friend exclaimed over lunch recently, “Marriage is one of the biggest sacrifices of your life!” The longer I am married, the more I believe that’s true. She is referring to a daily discipline of sacrifice for our marriage and family. This sacrifice concerns how we choose to handle conflict, how well we listen, and how willing we are to serve God and each other. In other words, it concerns how willing we are to be vulnerable and to love. I heard one Catholic theologian cite an applicable catechism recently: “To love is to will the good of another.”

Third, faith can unlock fulfillment through your marriage.

It is a great gift to have a spouse who has pledged to be with you no matter what befalls in life. You can stand together when life’s curveballs come your way. You can form a team as you parent. You can explore sexual intimacy in a safe environment, which is necessary for it to truly thrive. You can partner to see the fruition of God’s vision for your lives.

Marriage is a font of God’s greatest blessings to humankind because it reflects his unconditional love through covenant. God designed marriage to be a safe refuge, a partnership that seeks the good of another before one’s own. Pastor Timothy Keller describes God’s true nature in Jesus is King as loving and communal, as evidenced by the “dance” of the Trinity. Therefore, since God made us in his image, we are happiest in loving, communion-building relationships, such as marriage.

God can use faith to help us choose our spouse, nurture our commitment to our spouse, and bloom with our spouse—that’s how it helps!

Let’s Pray: Loving Father, may my marriage be a safe haven of love and commitment, and may You use it to shine Your light as You equip us to serve one another. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Application: What are the things that drew you to your spouse? What do you do to tend your marriage spiritually?

Challenge: Consider something special that you can do to honor your commitment to your spouse, and do it to glorify God. See what God does with your faithfulness.

Rev. Noelle Kirchner, M.Div., is a Presbyterian pastor who has served in both church and hospital settings. She’s also a Midwesterner who married her college sweetheart, and together they are raising their three boys in New Jersey. Her training includes Northwestern University (B.A., Religious Studies) and Princeton Theological Seminary, along with almost twenty years in ministry. She is a regular contributor to Crosswalk and has also published work with HuffPost Parents, Propel Women, (in)courage, iBelieve, and the TODAY Show Parenting Team, among others. Her cable television show, Chaos to Calm, featured parenting hot topics and prominent guests, including Candace Cameron Bure. You can watch her episodes on-demand and sign up for her free devotional e-book by visiting her website, noellekirchner.com. Connect with her on social media (X, Instagram, and Facebook) and check out her book, How to Live Your Life Purpose: The Six-Step Journey to God’s Best.

We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.