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Supporting a Spouse with Depression

By: Jennifer Waddle

“But God, who comforts and encourages the depressed and the disquieted, comforted us by the arrival of Titus." (2 Corinthians 7:6 AMP)

I love how the Bible has answers for every area of life, even for those who are burdened by depression. Our God truly is the God of all comfort, and sometimes, He calls us to play a supportive role in comforting our spouses through depression.

If you’re wondering how to best support your spouse, here are a few things to keep in mind.

Ask God What Your Role Is

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” (Proverbs 3:27)

When we aren’t sure what our supporting role is, we either overcompensate or withhold support altogether. Avoidance is common in this scenario, especially when we feel helpless to help. But remember, we have a loving Father who invites us to commune with Him and gather wisdom for the journey.

Specifically, you can ask the Lord for practical, spiritual, and physical guidance, such as:

• Lord, how can I support my spouse practically, with home-cooked meals or running errands for them?
• Lord, how can I support my spouse spiritually, by praying over them or sharing encouraging Bible verses?
• Lord, how can I support my spouse physically, with gentle back rubs or leisurely walks in the evenings?

These are great questions to ask your Heavenly Father, who gives wisdom without finding fault. (James 1:5) He will give you specific words to say and meaningful actions to take. After all, He knows your spouse better than you do, and He loves them deeply.

Remember: Supporting Isn’t Rescuing

“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.” (Psalm 91:14-15)

The lines between supporting and rescuing can sometimes get blurred when trying to support a loved one with depression. We might think we have the perfect solution, only to realize it isn’t helpful at all. Or we might push our spouse toward a certain outcome, dismissing God’s timing or process.

Only the Lord can deliver our spouses from depression. The best position we can take is a prayerful one, supporting them in small, intentional ways, while trusting God to ultimately set them free.

Release the weight of depression, laying your worries and concerns at His feet. Recall Psalm 138:8, which says, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.” (NKJV)

Know When to Seek Outside Help

Depression affects the whole person - mind, body, and spirit - and can sometimes become an emergency situation. It’s okay to seek outside help as a means of support, especially when there are signs of possible self-harm.

This post from the Mayo Clinic states, “Worsening depression needs to be treated as soon as possible. Urge a person with depression to work with a health care provider or mental health provider to create a plan for what to do when symptoms reach a certain point, including whom to contact.”

Having a trusted friend or pastor to call can also be a helpful option. Be sure to discuss this with your spouse first and agree on who to call if you need outside support. As Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Seeking outside help might be the best way to support your spouse, especially if you notice their depression getting worse over time.

Let’s pray: Gracious Heavenly Father, You know my spouse inside and out, for You created them fearfully and wonderfully. I ask for wisdom concerning their depression, knowing You have all the answers. Please give me the right words and actions to take to best support them on their difficult journey. Soften my heart to be understanding and patient and not grow weary in doing good. Please heal my spouse completely, restoring them to full health, soundness of mind, and perfect peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Application: Consider fasting and praying for your spouse’s depression for a set period of time. Keep a notebook on hand for the ways God answers your prayers and guides you in wisdom.

Challenge: On a day when your spouse is feeling good, discuss the benefits of forming a network of people to call on when things get tough. This might include doctors, pastors, neighbors, and friends. Make sure both of you have their contact information stored on your phones for easy access.

 Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Justin Paget

Jennifer Waddle is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a regular contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where you can find her books and sign up for her weekly post, Discouragement Doesn’t Win. She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth. 

We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.

Audio By Carbonatix

Supporting a Spouse with Depression

By: Jennifer Waddle

“But God, who comforts and encourages the depressed and the disquieted, comforted us by the arrival of Titus." (2 Corinthians 7:6 AMP)

I love how the Bible has answers for every area of life, even for those who are burdened by depression. Our God truly is the God of all comfort, and sometimes, He calls us to play a supportive role in comforting our spouses through depression.

If you’re wondering how to best support your spouse, here are a few things to keep in mind.

Ask God What Your Role Is

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” (Proverbs 3:27)

When we aren’t sure what our supporting role is, we either overcompensate or withhold support altogether. Avoidance is common in this scenario, especially when we feel helpless to help. But remember, we have a loving Father who invites us to commune with Him and gather wisdom for the journey.

Specifically, you can ask the Lord for practical, spiritual, and physical guidance, such as:

• Lord, how can I support my spouse practically, with home-cooked meals or running errands for them?
• Lord, how can I support my spouse spiritually, by praying over them or sharing encouraging Bible verses?
• Lord, how can I support my spouse physically, with gentle back rubs or leisurely walks in the evenings?

These are great questions to ask your Heavenly Father, who gives wisdom without finding fault. (James 1:5) He will give you specific words to say and meaningful actions to take. After all, He knows your spouse better than you do, and He loves them deeply.

Remember: Supporting Isn’t Rescuing

“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.” (Psalm 91:14-15)

The lines between supporting and rescuing can sometimes get blurred when trying to support a loved one with depression. We might think we have the perfect solution, only to realize it isn’t helpful at all. Or we might push our spouse toward a certain outcome, dismissing God’s timing or process.

Only the Lord can deliver our spouses from depression. The best position we can take is a prayerful one, supporting them in small, intentional ways, while trusting God to ultimately set them free.

Release the weight of depression, laying your worries and concerns at His feet. Recall Psalm 138:8, which says, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.” (NKJV)

Know When to Seek Outside Help

Depression affects the whole person - mind, body, and spirit - and can sometimes become an emergency situation. It’s okay to seek outside help as a means of support, especially when there are signs of possible self-harm.

This post from the Mayo Clinic states, “Worsening depression needs to be treated as soon as possible. Urge a person with depression to work with a health care provider or mental health provider to create a plan for what to do when symptoms reach a certain point, including whom to contact.”

Having a trusted friend or pastor to call can also be a helpful option. Be sure to discuss this with your spouse first and agree on who to call if you need outside support. As Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Seeking outside help might be the best way to support your spouse, especially if you notice their depression getting worse over time.

Let’s pray: Gracious Heavenly Father, You know my spouse inside and out, for You created them fearfully and wonderfully. I ask for wisdom concerning their depression, knowing You have all the answers. Please give me the right words and actions to take to best support them on their difficult journey. Soften my heart to be understanding and patient and not grow weary in doing good. Please heal my spouse completely, restoring them to full health, soundness of mind, and perfect peace. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Application: Consider fasting and praying for your spouse’s depression for a set period of time. Keep a notebook on hand for the ways God answers your prayers and guides you in wisdom.

Challenge: On a day when your spouse is feeling good, discuss the benefits of forming a network of people to call on when things get tough. This might include doctors, pastors, neighbors, and friends. Make sure both of you have their contact information stored on your phones for easy access.

 Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Justin Paget

Jennifer Waddle is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a regular contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where you can find her books and sign up for her weekly post, Discouragement Doesn’t Win. She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth. 

We hope you and your spouse are challenged and encouraged by today's devotional! For more of this premium marriage devotional, visit here.