1. Slow Down and Get the Whole Picture by Reading James 1:19-20

 James 1:19-20 says: “Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for a man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness of God” (NASB). This verse reminds us to take the time needed to gain perspective before speaking out. Sometimes we become angry because we don’t have the whole story. We might react emotionally to something when we need to spend a little bit more time listening, getting the bigger picture, and then planning a godly response.  If we are not careful to listen and slow to speak, then we could end up exacerbating a situation or adding fuel to an already kindled fire. 

This passage is a good one to memorize so that when something starts to make you mad, you can say aloud and pray the scripture over yourself: “Lord help me to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, lest my anger not bring about the righteousness of God.”

2. Handle Your Anger Properly by Applying Ephesians 4:26-27

Interestingly, instead of exhorting us not to be angry, these verses command the opposite: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity” (NASB). The apostle Paul, in verse 26, is quoting David’s song in Psalm 4:4: “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still” (NKJV). David was emphasizing the importance of trusting God in spite of our anger or frustration at sin and those committing it. In his particular case, David was praying for God’s physical protection from his enemies who were pursuing him. He was angry at those who loved worthlessness (verse 2), but aware that God wanted him to keep a quiet trust in his God in spite of it. He followed his instruction with verse 5: “Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the LORD” (NASB). 

This passage of Scripture serves as an excellent guideline for how to handle our anger properly.

These verses imply that God understands the issues making us angry, but exhort us not to let anger take root in our hearts and cause us to become bitter or speak out recklessly or act out violently against someone as a result of that anger. 

 Photo Credit: Ben White/Unsplash 

3. Find Your Anger Management Plan in Ephesians 4:29-32

Following his instruction for us to be angry, yet not sin, Paul tells us a couple of verses later what to do further when we are feeling angry: ^“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (ESV). 

In this passage, Paul instructs us not to vent our anger in words that could hurt others and cause us to sin against them, but to focus on how our words can pour grace over others. We are also instructed not to grieve the Holy Spirit, which can happen as a result of taking an angering situation into our own hands and seeking vengeance (verse 30). Finally, we are told to “put away” the anger and any form of malice (verse 31) and to be kind to one another, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (verse 32). 

4. Examine Your Heart by Reading Psalm 139:23-24

Psalm 139:23-24 says: “Search me, God, and know my heart;
Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there is any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way” (NASB). 

This passage from David’s song is a powerful one to pray when asking God to look at our hearts and examine our motives. Especially when we are angry. Are you angry about the things that anger God? Are you angry about sin and its impact? Are you angry about the loss of life or the devastation of sin or rebellion against God? Or are you angry about something that inconveniences you or rubs against your sense of entitlement? 

When we ask God to search us and know our hearts and see if there is any grievous way in us, that’s another way of saying: “Lord, filter through my anger and show me what needs to change or soften or be corrected in my heart and mindset.” In my book. When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts (Harvest House Publishers, 2012), I looked at the original Hebrew words in that song and their meanings and wrote that Psalm 139:23-24 could also be rendered this way: “Intensely examine me, O God, and know my innermost thoughts, intentions, and understanding. Test my quality and endurance like you would test precious metal, and know my thoughts. And see if there exists in me any painful, sorrowful, or idolatrous course of action and guide me in the course of my life continually (or toward eternity).”

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Kelly Sikkema 

5. Find God as Your Safe Place by Reading Psalm 62:5-8

David sang in Psalm 62:5-8:

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge” (NIV). 

When we are angry, it is common to want to verbally vent. Anger that is carelessly vented at others can become accusatory, hurtful, or slanderous. This passage reminds us we have a safe place to vent and we can pour out our hearts knowing that, in God our refuge, we will not be “shaken.” We also need the reminder from verse 7 that our salvation and honor (and how we respond—even in our anger) depend on God, and therefore we want to honor Him in our anger as well. 

When we remember that God can be trusted with our verbal vent, and He not only can handle it but can be our refuge, it’s an encouragement to go to Him with it first, and not to someone else. If the time comes that we need to share it with someone else, our hearts will have already been buffered and filtered by sharing it with the Lord first. 

6. Examine Your Patience Level by Reading Solomon’s Words in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes

Solomon warned us in Proverbs 14:17: “A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated” (NIV). Verse 29 also restates the point: “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” And Ecclesiastes 7:9 tells us: “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.” (The New Living Translation renders that verse: “Control your anger, for anger labels you a fool.”)

These verses encourage us to examine our anger. Is yours a slow burn, or are you easily angered, flaring up at relatively little? Being “quick-tempered” is also included in Titus 1:7 as a disqualification for an elder (or pastor/shepherd) and is listed alongside the dishonoring traits of arrogance, drunkenness, violence, and pursuing dishonest gain (NIV). God’s Word takes seriously the quick-tempered or easily-angered person when it comes to disqualification from ministry or labeling a person a fool. Make sure your anger is something that is not affecting your heart or propensity to sin.

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Priscilla-du-preez 

7. Seek Wisdom Regarding Your Next Step by Reading James 1:2-5

James tells us in the opening chapter of his letter how to handle any type of trial that may very likely produce a level of anger: “Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (verses 2-4). 

Then in verse 5, James gives us a wonderful suggestion that can be equated to a promise from God: “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (NASB). 

How often we need wisdom to know how to process our anger, to know whether or not to confront someone, and to know how to keep it from causing us to sin. By reading and reflecting on these verses, you can make sure your heart is right before God and you are being wise, mature, and Christ-like in how you handle anger. 

If you struggle with constant or deep-seated anger, see Cindi’s book, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts: Discover the Healing and Wholeness God Has for You.

Photo Credit: ©Sparrowstock 

1. Slow Down and Get the Whole Picture by Reading James 1:19-20

 James 1:19-20 says: “Now everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for a man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness of God” (NASB). This verse reminds us to take the time needed to gain perspective before speaking out. Sometimes we become angry because we don’t have the whole story. We might react emotionally to something when we need to spend a little bit more time listening, getting the bigger picture, and then planning a godly response.  If we are not careful to listen and slow to speak, then we could end up exacerbating a situation or adding fuel to an already kindled fire. 

This passage is a good one to memorize so that when something starts to make you mad, you can say aloud and pray the scripture over yourself: “Lord help me to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, lest my anger not bring about the righteousness of God.”

2. Handle Your Anger Properly by Applying Ephesians 4:26-27

Interestingly, instead of exhorting us not to be angry, these verses command the opposite: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity” (NASB). The apostle Paul, in verse 26, is quoting David’s song in Psalm 4:4: “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still” (NKJV). David was emphasizing the importance of trusting God in spite of our anger or frustration at sin and those committing it. In his particular case, David was praying for God’s physical protection from his enemies who were pursuing him. He was angry at those who loved worthlessness (verse 2), but aware that God wanted him to keep a quiet trust in his God in spite of it. He followed his instruction with verse 5: “Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and trust in the LORD” (NASB). 

This passage of Scripture serves as an excellent guideline for how to handle our anger properly.

These verses imply that God understands the issues making us angry, but exhort us not to let anger take root in our hearts and cause us to become bitter or speak out recklessly or act out violently against someone as a result of that anger. 

 Photo Credit: Ben White/Unsplash 

3. Find Your Anger Management Plan in Ephesians 4:29-32

Following his instruction for us to be angry, yet not sin, Paul tells us a couple of verses later what to do further when we are feeling angry: ^“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (ESV). 

In this passage, Paul instructs us not to vent our anger in words that could hurt others and cause us to sin against them, but to focus on how our words can pour grace over others. We are also instructed not to grieve the Holy Spirit, which can happen as a result of taking an angering situation into our own hands and seeking vengeance (verse 30). Finally, we are told to “put away” the anger and any form of malice (verse 31) and to be kind to one another, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (verse 32). 

4. Examine Your Heart by Reading Psalm 139:23-24

Psalm 139:23-24 says: “Search me, God, and know my heart;
Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there is any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way” (NASB). 

This passage from David’s song is a powerful one to pray when asking God to look at our hearts and examine our motives. Especially when we are angry. Are you angry about the things that anger God? Are you angry about sin and its impact? Are you angry about the loss of life or the devastation of sin or rebellion against God? Or are you angry about something that inconveniences you or rubs against your sense of entitlement? 

When we ask God to search us and know our hearts and see if there is any grievous way in us, that’s another way of saying: “Lord, filter through my anger and show me what needs to change or soften or be corrected in my heart and mindset.” In my book. When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts (Harvest House Publishers, 2012), I looked at the original Hebrew words in that song and their meanings and wrote that Psalm 139:23-24 could also be rendered this way: “Intensely examine me, O God, and know my innermost thoughts, intentions, and understanding. Test my quality and endurance like you would test precious metal, and know my thoughts. And see if there exists in me any painful, sorrowful, or idolatrous course of action and guide me in the course of my life continually (or toward eternity).”

Photo Credit: Unsplash/Kelly Sikkema 

5. Find God as Your Safe Place by Reading Psalm 62:5-8

David sang in Psalm 62:5-8:

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge” (NIV). 

When we are angry, it is common to want to verbally vent. Anger that is carelessly vented at others can become accusatory, hurtful, or slanderous. This passage reminds us we have a safe place to vent and we can pour out our hearts knowing that, in God our refuge, we will not be “shaken.” We also need the reminder from verse 7 that our salvation and honor (and how we respond—even in our anger) depend on God, and therefore we want to honor Him in our anger as well. 

When we remember that God can be trusted with our verbal vent, and He not only can handle it but can be our refuge, it’s an encouragement to go to Him with it first, and not to someone else. If the time comes that we need to share it with someone else, our hearts will have already been buffered and filtered by sharing it with the Lord first. 

6. Examine Your Patience Level by Reading Solomon’s Words in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes

Solomon warned us in Proverbs 14:17: “A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated” (NIV). Verse 29 also restates the point: “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” And Ecclesiastes 7:9 tells us: “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.” (The New Living Translation renders that verse: “Control your anger, for anger labels you a fool.”)

These verses encourage us to examine our anger. Is yours a slow burn, or are you easily angered, flaring up at relatively little? Being “quick-tempered” is also included in Titus 1:7 as a disqualification for an elder (or pastor/shepherd) and is listed alongside the dishonoring traits of arrogance, drunkenness, violence, and pursuing dishonest gain (NIV). God’s Word takes seriously the quick-tempered or easily-angered person when it comes to disqualification from ministry or labeling a person a fool. Make sure your anger is something that is not affecting your heart or propensity to sin.

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Priscilla-du-preez 

7. Seek Wisdom Regarding Your Next Step by Reading James 1:2-5

James tells us in the opening chapter of his letter how to handle any type of trial that may very likely produce a level of anger: “Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (verses 2-4). 

Then in verse 5, James gives us a wonderful suggestion that can be equated to a promise from God: “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him” (NASB). 

How often we need wisdom to know how to process our anger, to know whether or not to confront someone, and to know how to keep it from causing us to sin. By reading and reflecting on these verses, you can make sure your heart is right before God and you are being wise, mature, and Christ-like in how you handle anger. 

If you struggle with constant or deep-seated anger, see Cindi’s book, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts: Discover the Healing and Wholeness God Has for You.

Photo Credit: ©Sparrowstock