7 Coping Strategies for the Holiday Season
Mental Health
Audio By Carbonatix
By Vivian Bricker, Crosswalk.com
The holiday season can bring many mixed feelings into our hearts. For some of us, we might feel sorrowful, depressed, or full of grief. Due to these feelings, it can be hard for us to feel happy during the holiday season. I can personally relate to this issue as Christmas brings up a lot of grief. While my mom didn't pass away during the Christmas season, the Christmas season is a constant reminder of her passing.
My mom was the centerpiece of my family’s celebrations as she orchestrated every Christmas event. She organized the games, the gifts, and all of the decorations. There was never a dull moment when my mom was planning a Christmas celebration. She included my sisters and I in her plans, and would recruit us to do various takes. We helped her decorate the inside and outside of the house, cook Christmas dinner, and set the table. All of these fun memories still live on in my heart, but when I think about them, sometimes, they only bring pain. I loved my mom so much, which is why I have so much grief. I used to avoid grief at all costs; however, I now understand that grief is the natural overflow of the love I have for my mom. When Christmas brings grief, I welcome it, and I've accepted it as part of who I am. The grief will never leave me because the love I have for my mom will never leave.
Spend time with God
The best way to cope with the holiday season when we are struggling is to spend time with God. The Bible tells us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). God can carry any burden we have and bless us with His grace. Bring all of your worries, concerns, and fears, and set them at His feet (1 Peter 5:7). Even if you feel like your troubles surrounding the holidays are not a “big deal,” know that they are valid and God will help you heal. If you are experiencing grief and loss this Christmas, know that God understands. He can help you cope with the pain and to see the beauty in life again. God will equip you with the strength to continue on, but also to give yourself grace. Know that it is okay to cry and lean on the strong shoulder of our mighty Savior. The Lord is good, and He will keep your heart strong.
Talk to Your Loved Ones
Oftentimes, we tend to isolate ourselves from others when we are stressed or overwhelmed during the holidays. I did this for many years because I didn't want to be involved with any holiday celebrations. Rather than self-isolating, try to talk with your loved ones about what is going on in your life. Tell them why the holidays are hard to cope with this year, and also tell them any ways they could help. You might be surprised at how much they can be a source of support. Look at the people around you. Who is in your immediate circle? Maybe it is your siblings, your friends, or your spouse. Reach out to them today and inform them of your struggles surrounding the holiday season. You will feel much better once you tell someone else how you are feeling, and they will be able to help others know that this season is a bit hard for you.
Schedule a Few Extra Therapy Sessions
Seeing a therapist regularly can help keep our mental health in check. This will ensure we don't get as overwhelmed during the holiday season. If you are already regularly seeing a therapist, try to squeeze in a few extra sessions before the holiday season comes to a close. Your therapist will be able to give you coping mechanisms and strategies to keep your mind steady when the stressors, triggers, pain, or grief come. If you don't have a therapist yet, try to get into therapy this holiday season. Pray over the matter and ask the Lord to guide you to the right therapist. While it may take a few tries before you find the right fit, Jesus will ensure you find the right therapist. Once you have found the right therapist, you will feel more optimistic and hopeful because you will have resources to help you as you cope with this holiday season. This alone can help you feel empowered and equipped to face the tough parts of the season.
Do a Joyful Activity on Your Own
An important coping strategy for the holiday season is to do a joyful activity on your own. It is important to know that it is not selfish to take time to do something you want to do during the holiday season. Regardless of what you are going through this Christmas season, take some time to do something you want to do. This could be going for a walk while you listen to your favorite album, spending some time at a thrift shop, or playing with your pet. Any of these things will be natural stress reducers and will boost your mood. If you are not sure of what you would like to do, try something different. Maybe you could sign up for a painting class or try to relive a memory you had as a child. Think about something that would help you feel better right now and do it. Christmas doesn't have to be always about giving to others; sometimes it involves giving back to yourself and giving yourself a break.
Set Boundaries
Boundaries need to be set in place in order to have a merry Christmas. It is all too common for our loved ones to overstep our boundaries, and it is not appreciated. If the holidays are stressful for you, not because of undergoing a recent loss, but rather because your aunt won't stop bugging you about when you are going to get married, you need to set boundaries in place with her. Make it clear at the beginning of the Christmas event that you don't want to be asked about your dating life or when you are going to get married, as it can be very hurtful. Normally, if you say a person's actions and words are hurtful, they will refrain from making those statements again.
Similarly, if you are struggling this holiday season because of going through a loss, know that you can set boundaries in place, too. By stating that you are not up to doing every activity or engaging in every conversation ahead of time, it will help your family to know to give you space. Be honest with them, let them know how you are going through grief and loss, and also be open to any help they may be able to offer.
Don't Overload Yourself
It is easy to take on too much on ourselves during the holiday season. Regardless of what else is going on in our lives, the holiday season can feel extra stressful because there are so many preparations, people will be coming over to our home, and we have to buy gifts. If you are finding yourself in a hectic frenzy, know that you are not alone. First, stop and pray to God, and then start thinking about small steps you can take toward your goal. Refrain from overloading yourself, as this will only cause the holiday season to become more stressful.
Take each step at a time and step-by-step, you will begin to see the progress you are making. However, if you are looking at all the plans to be made and there are some things that simply cannot be done, make this known. For instance, if it is unreasonable to decorate the outside of the house this year because of time constraints, then it is okay. Do what you can to relieve stress from yourself and find the holiday season enjoyable rather than stressful.
Delegate Any Stressful Tasks to Others
Think about what is on your holiday to-do list for Christmas this year. After you have thought over your to-do list, consider anything on this list that might be a bit too stressful for you to do. For these tasks, ask others to complete them for you. An example of this is if delivering gifts to all the neighbors is too much for you to handle right now, have your spouse deliver the gifts this year. In the same way, if cooking the Christmas dinner is too much this year, consider picking up a pre-made feast.
The goal of Christmas is to celebrate our wonderful Lord and Savior—not to get overwhelmed with the preparations and stressful tasks to make it all possible. Don't feel guilty for delegating tasks to other family members because in truth, they most likely want to help. They don't want to see you stressed out on Christmas Day or on the days leading up to Christmas. All of us want to see our loved ones to be happy, full of peace, and joy because the Savior has been born (Luke 2:11).
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Zinkevych
Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.
