1. Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing

Two things tend to mark modern Christian prayer. The first is that it is full of requests. This is not altogether a bad thing. The Bible tells us to put our supplications before God. We ask God to heal our neighbor, to help us get a good grade on tomorrow’s test, to protect us during our travels, etc. Again, none of this is bad. But neither is it the main point of prayer. In fact, the problem is not that we are asking for things but that we are not really asking for our deepest need. Our prayers are often circumstantial. They are situational, as if God is an emotional and physical handyman. 

We need so much more than improved circumstances. We need Him.

To transform your prayer life, never forget to keep The Main Thing the main thing. Somewhere in our laundry list of desires, we often forget to ask God to show us more of Himself. Like Moses in the cleft of the rock, Jacob wrestling with God, or Jesus on the Mount of Transfiguration, our lives are in desperate need of a revelation. An encounter with God. We do not need Him to do more for us. We need to know Him better. That is what we truly want. Why aren’t we asking for it? 

2. Make the Time

I mentioned two things mark modern prayer. The first was our preoccupation with presenting circumstantial requests to God. The second is that we tend to pray mostly at meal times. Almost exclusively. We pray before we eat. As if the food will be poisoned if it is not first “blessed”. A lot of Christians feel weird if they start to eat before there is a prayer.

What an awesome thing. How incredible that we have made this a habitual practice. The downside is that prayer has become typecast. It is a meal thing. If you want to transform your prayer life, you have to pray at times other than when the wisps of food are billowing into your nostrils. Pray before you leave the house for work. Pray before you turn on the television (and not just for your sports team to win). Pray when you tie your shoe or start your car. Set an alarm and pray at a certain time every day.

Once again, this is an instance of something good (the discipline of praying at meals) not going far enough (creating the discipline to pray at other intervals).

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

3. Reconsider Your Punctuation

Another habit that can transform the way you pray is to reconsider your punctuation. What I mean is this: we treat the word “amen” as the period at the end of the sentence. Prayer over. Let’s eat! Or go to bed. Or do whatever is next. That next thing being something other than prayer. This keeps our prayer life siloed. It has a beginning and an end. That amen-as-sentence lets us know prayer is over, and we can now return to normal life. The problem with this is that, for the Christian, prayer is meant to be normal life. We are instructed to do it “without ceasing”.

Instead of thinking about the amen as a period, what if we thought about it as a comma? The verbal prayer is over, but what comes next is also a prayer. What if we were very intentional about the very first thing we did after we said amen? A kind word to a family member at the dinner table. A deep breath of thankfulness. Prayer is not just the words we say during a small portion of the day; it is a posture—a way of life. 

4. Prioritize Listening

Let’s get back to that laundry list of desires we so often bring to God. Again, these are not bad. Scripture commands us to bring them to God. But that is not all the Bible says about prayer. It tells us to be still. It commands us to wait and to listen.

The quickest way to transform your prayer life is to stop doing all the talking. Just listen. Ask God, “What do you want to tell me today?” and see what He says. Ask him what matters to Him about your work, family, or daily plan. Or just wait in silence and let the Spirit communicate to you.

If prayer is a one-way street, it is going to quickly meet limited effectiveness, especially when the silenced party is the Divine Creator of the Universe, who probably has something important to communicate to you.

A lot of Christians struggle with this because they are not sure if what they hear is God or just their own inner voice. The one piece of advice I would give is to try. You cannot discern God’s voice if you never leave room for it. There will be a learning curve. There may be uncertainty and mystery. That is the fuel of faith. It is not a sign you are on the wrong path; it is an indication you are making room for something more than yourself.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Maryviolet

5. Apply the 3:1 Rule

Another perspective to transform your prayer life is to exercise the three-to-one rule. This is another perspective to try to move us from thinking about prayer as a time when we ask God for the things we want, into something more robust. The three-to-one rule is this: for every one request, comment on three things you are thankful for. The point is to reorient our prayer and our perspective toward gratitude. To focus on acknowledging the reality of what God is doing more than lamenting what He has not done. This is a powerful perspective because it transforms us from a scarcity mindset into one of abundance. 

6. Stick to the Script

One of the most frequent challenges Christians express about their prayer life is not knowing what to say. Thankfully, there is an easy solution embedded in Scripture. The Lord’s Prayer. Jesus literally said, “This is how you should pray…” If you visit Westminster Abbey in London, you will see that they stop the circling tourists a couple of times a day so a clergyman can come to the microphone and pray The Lord’s Prayer. Christians have been taking Jesus at his instruction for a couple thousand years. 

This is the script of prayer. If you don’t know what to say, say this. If someone calls on you to pray before a meal, you can pray this. The words are there for you. Not every prayer has to be new. It should not be. Join the chorus of Heaven that has reigned for two thousand years.

7. Remember Others

Lastly, if you want to transform your prayer life, consider this: your prayer life is not only about you. Pray for your friends. Pray for your enemies. Not just that you would have a good perspective about them or forgive them well, pray that God would meet them.  Go back to that listening perspective and ask God if He will give you a word of encouragement for someone else. You will be shocked and inspired by the results. Prayer is both a ministry and a personal discipline. Do not hoard the power of prayer for your own life. Intercede. 

If prayer is such a vital aspect of the Christian life, it deserves our utmost attention. If we find ourselves in a rut, we should try something new. Or something old. We should be on the lookout for how to refine our perspective on prayer. The result will be a fuller participation in the Kingdom of God.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Tinnakorn Jorruang

1. Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing

Two things tend to mark modern Christian prayer. The first is that it is full of requests. This is not altogether a bad thing. The Bible tells us to put our supplications before God. We ask God to heal our neighbor, to help us get a good grade on tomorrow’s test, to protect us during our travels, etc. Again, none of this is bad. But neither is it the main point of prayer. In fact, the problem is not that we are asking for things but that we are not really asking for our deepest need. Our prayers are often circumstantial. They are situational, as if God is an emotional and physical handyman. 

We need so much more than improved circumstances. We need Him.

To transform your prayer life, never forget to keep The Main Thing the main thing. Somewhere in our laundry list of desires, we often forget to ask God to show us more of Himself. Like Moses in the cleft of the rock, Jacob wrestling with God, or Jesus on the Mount of Transfiguration, our lives are in desperate need of a revelation. An encounter with God. We do not need Him to do more for us. We need to know Him better. That is what we truly want. Why aren’t we asking for it? 

2. Make the Time

I mentioned two things mark modern prayer. The first was our preoccupation with presenting circumstantial requests to God. The second is that we tend to pray mostly at meal times. Almost exclusively. We pray before we eat. As if the food will be poisoned if it is not first “blessed”. A lot of Christians feel weird if they start to eat before there is a prayer.

What an awesome thing. How incredible that we have made this a habitual practice. The downside is that prayer has become typecast. It is a meal thing. If you want to transform your prayer life, you have to pray at times other than when the wisps of food are billowing into your nostrils. Pray before you leave the house for work. Pray before you turn on the television (and not just for your sports team to win). Pray when you tie your shoe or start your car. Set an alarm and pray at a certain time every day.

Once again, this is an instance of something good (the discipline of praying at meals) not going far enough (creating the discipline to pray at other intervals).

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

3. Reconsider Your Punctuation

Another habit that can transform the way you pray is to reconsider your punctuation. What I mean is this: we treat the word “amen” as the period at the end of the sentence. Prayer over. Let’s eat! Or go to bed. Or do whatever is next. That next thing being something other than prayer. This keeps our prayer life siloed. It has a beginning and an end. That amen-as-sentence lets us know prayer is over, and we can now return to normal life. The problem with this is that, for the Christian, prayer is meant to be normal life. We are instructed to do it “without ceasing”.

Instead of thinking about the amen as a period, what if we thought about it as a comma? The verbal prayer is over, but what comes next is also a prayer. What if we were very intentional about the very first thing we did after we said amen? A kind word to a family member at the dinner table. A deep breath of thankfulness. Prayer is not just the words we say during a small portion of the day; it is a posture—a way of life. 

4. Prioritize Listening

Let’s get back to that laundry list of desires we so often bring to God. Again, these are not bad. Scripture commands us to bring them to God. But that is not all the Bible says about prayer. It tells us to be still. It commands us to wait and to listen.

The quickest way to transform your prayer life is to stop doing all the talking. Just listen. Ask God, “What do you want to tell me today?” and see what He says. Ask him what matters to Him about your work, family, or daily plan. Or just wait in silence and let the Spirit communicate to you.

If prayer is a one-way street, it is going to quickly meet limited effectiveness, especially when the silenced party is the Divine Creator of the Universe, who probably has something important to communicate to you.

A lot of Christians struggle with this because they are not sure if what they hear is God or just their own inner voice. The one piece of advice I would give is to try. You cannot discern God’s voice if you never leave room for it. There will be a learning curve. There may be uncertainty and mystery. That is the fuel of faith. It is not a sign you are on the wrong path; it is an indication you are making room for something more than yourself.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Maryviolet

5. Apply the 3:1 Rule

Another perspective to transform your prayer life is to exercise the three-to-one rule. This is another perspective to try to move us from thinking about prayer as a time when we ask God for the things we want, into something more robust. The three-to-one rule is this: for every one request, comment on three things you are thankful for. The point is to reorient our prayer and our perspective toward gratitude. To focus on acknowledging the reality of what God is doing more than lamenting what He has not done. This is a powerful perspective because it transforms us from a scarcity mindset into one of abundance. 

6. Stick to the Script

One of the most frequent challenges Christians express about their prayer life is not knowing what to say. Thankfully, there is an easy solution embedded in Scripture. The Lord’s Prayer. Jesus literally said, “This is how you should pray…” If you visit Westminster Abbey in London, you will see that they stop the circling tourists a couple of times a day so a clergyman can come to the microphone and pray The Lord’s Prayer. Christians have been taking Jesus at his instruction for a couple thousand years. 

This is the script of prayer. If you don’t know what to say, say this. If someone calls on you to pray before a meal, you can pray this. The words are there for you. Not every prayer has to be new. It should not be. Join the chorus of Heaven that has reigned for two thousand years.

7. Remember Others

Lastly, if you want to transform your prayer life, consider this: your prayer life is not only about you. Pray for your friends. Pray for your enemies. Not just that you would have a good perspective about them or forgive them well, pray that God would meet them.  Go back to that listening perspective and ask God if He will give you a word of encouragement for someone else. You will be shocked and inspired by the results. Prayer is both a ministry and a personal discipline. Do not hoard the power of prayer for your own life. Intercede. 

If prayer is such a vital aspect of the Christian life, it deserves our utmost attention. If we find ourselves in a rut, we should try something new. Or something old. We should be on the lookout for how to refine our perspective on prayer. The result will be a fuller participation in the Kingdom of God.

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Tinnakorn Jorruang