7 Things to Consider When You’re Frustrated with God
Spiritual Life
Audio By Carbonatix
By Cindi McMenamin, Crosswalk.com
Do you know what it’s like to be frustrated with God? Perhaps you’ve been waiting upon Him for something, and He hasn’t yet delivered. Or maybe the unthinkable has happened, and you can’t fathom how He could be in control.
We can tend to think we have God figured out, especially when times are good, and we have all we want from Him. But when He allows something we don’t understand, it’s easy to rush to the conclusion that He’s acting out of character or He isn’t truly good and loving after all.
Yet we know from Scripture God is always consistent with Who He is—loving, all-knowing, all-powerful, and faithful to the ends of the earth. So, if it seems like God is disappointing you, failing you, or abandoning you, you just don’t see the whole picture yet. And spoiler alert: you might not ever see it this side of heaven.
When life plays out in ways we don’t understand, the question is not “Why, God?” Rather, the question we should be asking is “Will my response be one that pleases Him and fulfills the purpose for which He’s allowing this in my life?”
Here are seven things to consider when you’re disappointed in or frustrated with God:
1. You and I will never have the mind of God.
When we strain our brains to figure out why God might be doing something contrary to our thinking, we are better off resting in His plan, not trying to get out from under it. After all, Isaiah 55:8 tells us:
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord” (NASB).
When Job, whom God said was the most righteous man on earth, questioned God in the middle of his confusion and suffering, God’s response made it very clear He was God and Job was not:
“Who is this that darkens counsel
By words without knowledge?
…I will ask you and you instruct Me.
Where were you when I laid the
foundation of the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding” (Job 38:24 NASB).
In short, God is God, and we are not. Trust Him with what you don’t yet—or might not ever—understand.
2. His ways are higher than ours.
After God said His thoughts and ways are not like ours, He then told us the good side of that equation, which can put into perspective any situation we don’t like or don’t understand:
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
And do not return there without watering the earth
And making it produce and sprout,
And providing seed to the sower and bread to the eater;
So will My word be which goes out of My mouth;
It will not return to Me empty,
Without accomplishing what I desire,
And without succeeding in the purpose for which I sent it” (Isaiah 55:9-11).
God’s ways are not only different than our ways, but better, more beneficial, and more eternally-focused. Can you trust that the all-powerful, all-knowing God can direct your life far better than you can?
3. His timing is far better than ours.
Not only are God’s ways higher than ours, but His timing is far better. God is not bound by time. He literally has all the time in the world. And that can frustrate us immensely as we live ever aware that our time on this earth is limited. But consider this truth: God owns time, can manipulate time, can stop it or move it, and even work outside of it. Although we live as slaves to time, He is the One who can free us from that bondage by helping us trust Him and His perfect timing.
Psalm 18:30 says: “As for God, his way is perfect (and that includes His timing): The LORD’s word is flawless…” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 assures us there is a time and season for everything, and verse 11 tells us “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (ESV).
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/fizkes
4. God is looking at eternity; we only see the temporary.
In Matthew 7:11, Jesus said if we, being sinners, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more will our Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! Yet God’s idea of good and ours can differ substantially. What we think is good for us in this season of life might not be best for us in the long run. And while we are focused on our temporary desires and conveniences, God sees as good the things and situations that shape our character and prepare us for eternity.
If you’re going through a rough patch, remember that God sees the eternal good coming out of it when you surrender to Him through it. Trust the eternal, all-knowing God who has your eternal best in mind and can see what you cannot.
5. His idea of “good” is far better than ours.
Scripture assures us that God does not withhold what is truly good from those He loves. In Psalm 84:11, we read:
“For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
the Lord bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly” (ESV).
That verse essentially tells us God will not withhold what is good for us. But what is God’s idea of good, as compared to ours? I didn’t believe my parents’ divorce when I when 19 years old could be good in any way. But it turned out to be the defining moment in which I took ownership of my faith and began to cling to God. I didn’t think it was “good” when my husband and I were unable to conceive a second child. But unbeknownst to me at the time, God was preparing me to birth a speaking and writing ministry to women that likely wouldn’t have developed if I had the number of children I originally had hoped for, and if I hadn’t been through some heartaches of my own. If you are praying for something while walking uprightly and God is still withholding, then what you are wanting either isn’t really good for you, or it isn’t time. Trust Him with what you don’t understand because He can see your tomorrow as well as your eternity. And He can provide for what’s years ahead when you have no idea what’s around the next corner.
6. Your very response may be the reason you are going through what you are.
This is not to assume you’re responsible for whatever is frustrating you right now. You might be suffering because of someone else’s sin or from the ravages of living in a fallen world. But how you respond, whether it be frustration, anger, disappointment, blame, or praise, may be what God is working on and may be related to when He “eases up.”
I mentioned earlier, the question we should be asking isn’t “Why is God allowing this?” but rather “Will I be faithful and trust He can get me through this?” Often, our disappointments and frustrations are far more about our response than God’s actions or inactions. Our spiritual maturity is put under the spotlight during suffering or uncertainty or a time of waiting, and we are being given an opportunity for tremendous growth and a greater understanding of the faithfulness of God.
In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, we are commanded to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (ESV). In essence, it is God’s will for you and I to be unquestionably thankful in all things, not just the good and acceptable things. You show God your teachable, moldable, surrendered heart when you continue to thank Him in spite of what life is dealing your way. As you do, you are living out His purpose for your spiritual growth, maturity in faith, and glorification of Him in your life.
We often quote Romans 8:28 as our assurance that God will work our difficult situations for our good. But the following verse is the clarifier in how He turns our situation into good. Romans 8:29 tells us: “For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son” (NASB). In other words, God can work our frustrations for good by making us more like Jesus through them. Instead of blaming or complaining, warm God’s heart by asking, “How can I become more like Your Son through this?”
7. When our hearts are fixed anywhere but on Jesus, we’ll be disappointed.
Scripture gives us this exhortation: “Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory” (Colossians 3:1-4, emphasis added).
That passage exhorts us to keep our minds on our eternal home, seek lasting priorities and values, and live as if we are here temporarily (which we are), and we will soon be in our real home with the Lover of our souls.
When we consider Jesus—not a spouse, child, relationship, job, personal investments, and so on—as our life, we safeguard ourselves from misplaced priorities and frequent disappointment. People, opportunities, and situations will always eventually disappoint us. But Jesus never will. Make Him all that you hope in, and you will never be disappointed. Asaph, the songwriter, got it right when he sang in Psalm 73:25-26: “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (ESV).
Only when our expectations are with the Lord alone will we find He is fully reliable. And if we feel disappointed in God, we are apparently believing something about Him that isn’t true.
For more on drawing closer to God during the disappointments and hurts of life, see Cindi’s books, When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, and When God Sees Your Tears.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Nicola Katie
Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker, Bible teacher, certified writing coach, and award-winning writer who helps women and couples strengthen their relationship with God and others. She is also a mother, a pastor’s wife who has been married 37 years, and the author of 19 books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 160,000 copies sold), The New Loneliness: Nurturing Meaningful Connections When You Feel Isolated, and The New Loneliness Devotional: 50 Days to a Closer Connection with God. For more on her speaking ministry, coaching services for writers, and books to strengthen your soul, marriage, and parenting, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.
