7 Things to Do When You Can’t Fix a Relationship

Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

When a rift occurs between two parties, returning to a healthy relationship requires both to do the reconciliation work willingly. Depending on the circumstance, this can be difficult. Both parties may be at fault, and there may be legitimate abuse or wounds to deal with.

Reconciliation is complicated, but we should pursue it if possible. God revealed how much he desired reconciliation through Christ. God revealed a way to return to a proper relationship with Him when God the Son forgave and sacrificed himself, though he had no fault. Reconciling to God through Jesus allows us to live again as one with God in truth.

God desires reconciliation with everyone, but He will not force us to reconcile. The fact that God sent his only Son so that “whoever will believe” would have eternal life highlights how God allows a choice—for eternal reconciliation and for earthly reconciliation.

Not only do we have a choice to pursue reconciliation with others. We have a loving father who understands if we can’t achieve reconciliation in these relationships. When we face a broken relationship that needs reconciliation and can’t reach it, we do not need to feel ashamed. We do need to consider how to move forward.

Here are seven things to do when you can’t fix a relationship.

Photo credit: ©Gettyimages/IURII KRASILNIKOV
1. Pray for Guidance

1. Pray for Guidance

Praying for guidance and wisdom is crucial when we can’t fix a relationship. During relational struggles, we often have many questions; prayer helps us receive divine intervention and clarity. Prayer also gives us a moment to reflect, gain insight, and find peace, even when the situation seems irreparable.

The Bible highlights how important prayer is to getting guidance. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” By praying for guidance, you invite God’s perspective into your circumstances, which can illuminate new paths and new solutions you hadn’t considered.

Additionally, prayer helps cultivate a humble, open heart. Since you’re close to the situation, we may not see your part in the relational rift. Engaging with the Most High God humbles your heart and leads you to all truth, as Jesus promised through the Spirit (John 16:13). The promise is all truth, not some. Your humility and clarity about the situation will give you further strength. “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” (James 4:6).

In relationship turmoil, praying for personal guidance and wisdom can provide the strength and clarity to navigate the complexities. It fosters a deeper reliance on God’s wisdom, leading to greater peace and understanding in handling the situation.

Photo Credit:©GettyImages/tommaso79

2. Pray for Healing

2. Pray for Healing

If a relationship is broken, then one or both parties have likely been wounded. You may not communicate regularly with the other person, but you can still pray for healing—for yourself and the other. Focusing on mutual healing fosters compassion, understanding, and peace for both parties. It is an act of love and humility, acknowledging that while reconciliation may not be possible, well-being and emotional healing still matter.

The Bible encourages us to pray for others, especially in hard times. James 5:16 states, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” The verse reveals how key intercessory prayer is to the healing process. By praying for the other person, you extend grace and seek God’s intervention in their life and your own.

Healing prayers ask God to mend the emotional and spiritual wounds caused by a broken relationship. We can seek wholeness and peace regardless of the relationship's future. Through prayer, you can find peace that surpasses human understanding, which is crucial when relationships experience strife.

Praying for healing acknowledges the pain and seeks God’s comfort and restoration. By prioritizing healing, you can release unresolved conflict and embrace a future filled with hope and renewed strength.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/simonapilolla
3. Forgive

3. Forgive

All Christians are called to forgive, and you should seek to forgive the other person and pray they forgive you. Forgiveness involves humbling yourself, acknowledging any wrongs you may have committed, and genuinely asking for pardon. This act could bring closure and peace, even if the relationship cannot be restored to its former state.

The Bible emphasizes forgiveness is vital to spiritual and emotional health. Jesus teaches, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). Forgiveness not only mends relationships but maintains our relationship with God.

Seeking forgiveness can lead to healing for both parties. It allows the person who has been wronged to release feelings of hurt and resentment, paving the way for emotional freedom. For the one seeking forgiveness, it is a repentant act and a step towards personal growth and spiritual maturity.

By seeking forgiveness, you demonstrate a willingness to make amends and a desire to heal past wounds. While it may not always lead to reconciliation, it can bring peace to your heart and align your actions with God’s teachings.

Photo Credit:©GettyImages/PeopleImages

4. Seek Counsel

4. Seek Counsel

You may need to get others involved when you can't fix a relationship. Seeking counsel from mentors, pastors, or counselors can provide valuable guidance and support. These individuals bring experience, wisdom, and an objective perspective that can help you navigate relationships and make sound decisions.

Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Multiple perspectives show that decisions should be well-informed. Engaging with mentors or spiritual leaders allows you to gain insights you might not have considered, helping you approach the situation with greater clarity and understanding.

Pastors and mentors likely know you well and can offer a more objective view. They can provide spiritual guidance and bring biblical principles applicable to your situation to mind. Their experience in dealing with similar issues can offer practical advice and encouragement. They may have new solutions and ideas you haven’t considered before.

Counselors, particularly those trained in relationship dynamics, can help you understand the underlying issues and emotional responses. They can equip you with strategies to cope with the pain and to communicate more effectively, even if reconciliation isn’t possible.

Seeking counsel allows you to humbly draw from others’ strength and wisdom, fostering growth and healing.

Photo Credit:©GettyImages/PeopleImages

5. Focus on Self-Improvement

5. Focus on Self-Improvement

While praying and working toward reconciliation, you can focus on self-growth. It could be exercise, it could be therapy, anything that helps you become emotionally or spiritually healthier. Investing in yourself empowers you to devote energy to more constructive pursuits than wallowing in shame.

The Bible encourages personal growth and pursuing excellence. 2 Peter 3:18 states, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” Focusing on growing in faith and understanding honors God’s desire for you to develop spiritually and personally.

Investing in self-growth involves reflecting on your behavior and attitudes. It requires acknowledging areas to improve and proactively making changes. Philippians 3:13-14 provides guidance: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Like the apostle Paul, you can release past failures but positively learn from them.

Focusing on self-growth doesn’t mean you ignore the pain; rather, it’s about using the experience as a catalyst for positive change. Self-improvement can take many forms, including developing new skills, engaging in regular physical activity, pursuing education, and deepening spiritual practices.

Photo Credit:Unsplash/Venti Views

6. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

6. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Reconciliation must be based on truth, not a lie, and your desire to fix a relationship shouldn’t cause you to compromise healthy boundaries, allowing the other to continue to abuse you. Healthy boundaries protect your emotional well-being and prevent further harm to you or others. They ensure interactions remain respectful and that your needs and values are honored. Just as you can’t force another to reconcile, they shouldn’t force you to participate in an unhealthy relationship.

The Bible supports maintaining boundaries. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” By setting boundaries, you guard your heart against further emotional distress and ensure that your actions align with your values.

Establishing and maintaining boundaries involves recognizing and communicating your limits. It’s important to understand what behaviors you will and will not accept and to stand firm in these decisions. Ephesians 4:15 advises, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” The apostle Paul encourages honest and loving communication, essential for setting and maintaining boundaries.

Reconciliation should not come at the expense of your health or values. Compromising boundaries to restore a relationship can lead to further issues, reinforcing unhealthy dynamics. Prioritize your well-being and respect yourself enough to enforce healthy limits. When you make that choice, the resulting reconciliation will be loving and kind, benefiting both parties.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/jeffbergen
7. Trust God’s Plan

7. Trust God’s Plan

The story isn’t over just because a person isn’t willing to reconcile. Things may change over time. Trusting God’s timing provides comfort, hope, and strength to continue praying and waiting. You can then surrender your efforts and frustrations to God, believing he has a greater purpose and perfect timing for everything in your life.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God’s intentions are always for our good, even when we face relational challenges. Trusting in his plan means believing he is working behind the scenes and orchestrating events for your benefit.

Surrendering control and trusting God’s timing can be difficult, especially when you desire immediate resolution. Proverbs 3:5-6 provides guidance: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” These verses encourage you to rely on God’s wisdom rather than your own, assuring that he will guide you to the best outcome, providing you with needed perseverance.

You demonstrate faith in His sovereignty by trusting God’s plan and timing. This offers peace amidst uncertainty, knowing God is in control and will lead you towards His perfect purpose.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Ippei Naoi

 

Salem News Channel Today

Sponsored Links


September 26 - Phoenix, AZ
Scottsdale Center for the Performing Arts


November 2 - Detroit, MI
Zion Christian Church in Troy


October 6 - Los Angeles, CA
Pasadena Convention Center


November 5 - San Antonio, TX
Norris Centers – The Grand Red Oak Ballroom


October 8 - Sacramento, CA
William Jessup University


November 7 - Tampa, FL
The Palladium at St. Pete College


October 22 - Minneapolis, MN
Crowne Plaza AiRE


November 15 - San Francisco, CA
Fremont Marriott Silicon Valley


October 23 - Philadelphia, PA
Green Valley Country Club


November 16 - Denver, CO
CU South Denver - Formerly Wildlife Experience


November 2 - Chicago, IL
Chicago Westin Northwest in Itasca


November 21 - Cleveland, OH
Holiday Inn Rockside in Independence



Salem Radio Network Speakers

Larry Elder is an American lawyer, writer, and radio and television personality who calls himself the "Sage of South Central" a district of Los Angeles, Larry says his philosophy is to entertain, inform, provoke and to hopefully uplift. His calling card is "we have a country to save" and to him this means returning to the bedrock Constitutional principles of limited government and maximum personal responsibility. Elder's iconoclastic wit and intellectual agility makes him a particularly attractive voice in a nation that seems weary of traditional racial dialogue.” – Los Angeles Times.

Mike Gallagher Mike Gallagher began his broadcasting career in 1978 in Dayton, Ohio. Today, he is one of the most listened-to talk radio show hosts in America, recently having been ranked in the Talkers Magazine “Heavy Hundred” list – the 100 most important talk radio hosts in America. Prior to being launched into national syndication in 1998, Mike hosted the morning show on WABC-AM in New York City. Today, Talkers Magazine reports that his show is heard by over 3.75 million weekly listeners. Besides his radio work, Mike is seen on Fox News Channel as an on-air contributor, frequently appearing on the cable news giant.

Hugh Hewitt is one of the nation’s leading bloggers and a genuine media revolutionary. He brings that expertise, his wit and what The New Yorker magazine calls his “amiable but relentless manner” to his nationally syndicated show each day.

When Dr. Sebastian Gorka was growing up, he listened to talk radio under his pillow with a transistor radio, dreaming that one day he would be behind the microphone. Beginning New Year’s Day 2019, he got his wish. Gorka now hosts America First every weekday afternoon 3 to 6pm ET. Gorka’s unique story works well on the radio. He is national security analyst for the Fox News Channel and author of two books: "Why We Fight" and "Defeating Jihad." His latest book releasing this fall is “War For America’s Soul.” He is uniquely qualified to fight the culture war and stand up for what is great about America, his adopted home country.

Broadcasting from his home station of KRLA in Los Angeles, the Dennis Prager Show is heard across the country. Everything in life – from politics to religion to relationships – is grist for Dennis’ mill. If it’s interesting, if it affects your life, then Dennis will be talking about it – with passion, humor, insight and wisdom.

Sean Hannity is a conservative radio and television host, and one of the original primetime hosts on the Fox News Channel, where he has appeared since 1996. Sean Hannity began his radio career at a college station in California, before moving on to markets in the Southeast and New York. Today, he’s one of the most listened to on-air voices. Hannity’s radio program went into national syndication on September 10, 2001, and airs on more than 500 stations. Talkers Magazine estimates Hannity’s weekly radio audience at 13.5 million. In 1996 he was hired as one of the original hosts on Fox News Channel. As host of several popular Fox programs, Hannity has become the highest-paid news anchor on television.

Michelle Malkin is a mother, wife, blogger, conservative syndicated columnist, longtime cable TV news commentator, and best-selling author of six books. She started her newspaper journalism career at the Los Angeles Daily News in 1992, moved to the Seattle Times in 1995, and has been penning nationally syndicated newspaper columns for Creators Syndicate since 1999. She is founder of conservative Internet start-ups Hot Air and Twitchy.com. Malkin has received numerous awards for her investigative journalism, including the Council on Governmental Ethics Laws (COGEL) national award for outstanding service for the cause of governmental ethics and leadership (1998), the Reed Irvine Accuracy in Media Award for Investigative Journalism (2006), the Heritage Foundation and Franklin Center for Government & Public Integrity's Breitbart Award for Excellence in Journalism (2013), the Center for Immigration Studies' Eugene Katz Award for Excellence in the Coverage of Immigration Award (2016), and the Manhattan Film Festival's Film Heals Award (2018). Married for 26 years and the mother of two teenage children, she lives with her family in Colorado. Follow her at michellemalkin.com. (Photo reprinted with kind permission from Peter Duke Photography.)

Sponsored by:

7 Things to Do When You Can’t Fix a Relationship

Carbonatix Pre-Player Loader

Audio By Carbonatix

When a rift occurs between two parties, returning to a healthy relationship requires both to do the reconciliation work willingly. Depending on the circumstance, this can be difficult. Both parties may be at fault, and there may be legitimate abuse or wounds to deal with.

Reconciliation is complicated, but we should pursue it if possible. God revealed how much he desired reconciliation through Christ. God revealed a way to return to a proper relationship with Him when God the Son forgave and sacrificed himself, though he had no fault. Reconciling to God through Jesus allows us to live again as one with God in truth.

God desires reconciliation with everyone, but He will not force us to reconcile. The fact that God sent his only Son so that “whoever will believe” would have eternal life highlights how God allows a choice—for eternal reconciliation and for earthly reconciliation.

Not only do we have a choice to pursue reconciliation with others. We have a loving father who understands if we can’t achieve reconciliation in these relationships. When we face a broken relationship that needs reconciliation and can’t reach it, we do not need to feel ashamed. We do need to consider how to move forward.

Here are seven things to do when you can’t fix a relationship.

Photo credit: ©Gettyimages/IURII KRASILNIKOV
1. Pray for Guidance

1. Pray for Guidance

Praying for guidance and wisdom is crucial when we can’t fix a relationship. During relational struggles, we often have many questions; prayer helps us receive divine intervention and clarity. Prayer also gives us a moment to reflect, gain insight, and find peace, even when the situation seems irreparable.

The Bible highlights how important prayer is to getting guidance. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” By praying for guidance, you invite God’s perspective into your circumstances, which can illuminate new paths and new solutions you hadn’t considered.

Additionally, prayer helps cultivate a humble, open heart. Since you’re close to the situation, we may not see your part in the relational rift. Engaging with the Most High God humbles your heart and leads you to all truth, as Jesus promised through the Spirit (John 16:13). The promise is all truth, not some. Your humility and clarity about the situation will give you further strength. “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” (James 4:6).

In relationship turmoil, praying for personal guidance and wisdom can provide the strength and clarity to navigate the complexities. It fosters a deeper reliance on God’s wisdom, leading to greater peace and understanding in handling the situation.

Photo Credit:©GettyImages/tommaso79

2. Pray for Healing

2. Pray for Healing

If a relationship is broken, then one or both parties have likely been wounded. You may not communicate regularly with the other person, but you can still pray for healing—for yourself and the other. Focusing on mutual healing fosters compassion, understanding, and peace for both parties. It is an act of love and humility, acknowledging that while reconciliation may not be possible, well-being and emotional healing still matter.

The Bible encourages us to pray for others, especially in hard times. James 5:16 states, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” The verse reveals how key intercessory prayer is to the healing process. By praying for the other person, you extend grace and seek God’s intervention in their life and your own.

Healing prayers ask God to mend the emotional and spiritual wounds caused by a broken relationship. We can seek wholeness and peace regardless of the relationship's future. Through prayer, you can find peace that surpasses human understanding, which is crucial when relationships experience strife.

Praying for healing acknowledges the pain and seeks God’s comfort and restoration. By prioritizing healing, you can release unresolved conflict and embrace a future filled with hope and renewed strength.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/simonapilolla
3. Forgive

3. Forgive

All Christians are called to forgive, and you should seek to forgive the other person and pray they forgive you. Forgiveness involves humbling yourself, acknowledging any wrongs you may have committed, and genuinely asking for pardon. This act could bring closure and peace, even if the relationship cannot be restored to its former state.

The Bible emphasizes forgiveness is vital to spiritual and emotional health. Jesus teaches, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). Forgiveness not only mends relationships but maintains our relationship with God.

Seeking forgiveness can lead to healing for both parties. It allows the person who has been wronged to release feelings of hurt and resentment, paving the way for emotional freedom. For the one seeking forgiveness, it is a repentant act and a step towards personal growth and spiritual maturity.

By seeking forgiveness, you demonstrate a willingness to make amends and a desire to heal past wounds. While it may not always lead to reconciliation, it can bring peace to your heart and align your actions with God’s teachings.

Photo Credit:©GettyImages/PeopleImages

4. Seek Counsel

4. Seek Counsel

You may need to get others involved when you can't fix a relationship. Seeking counsel from mentors, pastors, or counselors can provide valuable guidance and support. These individuals bring experience, wisdom, and an objective perspective that can help you navigate relationships and make sound decisions.

Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Multiple perspectives show that decisions should be well-informed. Engaging with mentors or spiritual leaders allows you to gain insights you might not have considered, helping you approach the situation with greater clarity and understanding.

Pastors and mentors likely know you well and can offer a more objective view. They can provide spiritual guidance and bring biblical principles applicable to your situation to mind. Their experience in dealing with similar issues can offer practical advice and encouragement. They may have new solutions and ideas you haven’t considered before.

Counselors, particularly those trained in relationship dynamics, can help you understand the underlying issues and emotional responses. They can equip you with strategies to cope with the pain and to communicate more effectively, even if reconciliation isn’t possible.

Seeking counsel allows you to humbly draw from others’ strength and wisdom, fostering growth and healing.

Photo Credit:©GettyImages/PeopleImages

5. Focus on Self-Improvement

5. Focus on Self-Improvement

While praying and working toward reconciliation, you can focus on self-growth. It could be exercise, it could be therapy, anything that helps you become emotionally or spiritually healthier. Investing in yourself empowers you to devote energy to more constructive pursuits than wallowing in shame.

The Bible encourages personal growth and pursuing excellence. 2 Peter 3:18 states, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.” Focusing on growing in faith and understanding honors God’s desire for you to develop spiritually and personally.

Investing in self-growth involves reflecting on your behavior and attitudes. It requires acknowledging areas to improve and proactively making changes. Philippians 3:13-14 provides guidance: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Like the apostle Paul, you can release past failures but positively learn from them.

Focusing on self-growth doesn’t mean you ignore the pain; rather, it’s about using the experience as a catalyst for positive change. Self-improvement can take many forms, including developing new skills, engaging in regular physical activity, pursuing education, and deepening spiritual practices.

Photo Credit:Unsplash/Venti Views

6. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

6. Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Reconciliation must be based on truth, not a lie, and your desire to fix a relationship shouldn’t cause you to compromise healthy boundaries, allowing the other to continue to abuse you. Healthy boundaries protect your emotional well-being and prevent further harm to you or others. They ensure interactions remain respectful and that your needs and values are honored. Just as you can’t force another to reconcile, they shouldn’t force you to participate in an unhealthy relationship.

The Bible supports maintaining boundaries. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” By setting boundaries, you guard your heart against further emotional distress and ensure that your actions align with your values.

Establishing and maintaining boundaries involves recognizing and communicating your limits. It’s important to understand what behaviors you will and will not accept and to stand firm in these decisions. Ephesians 4:15 advises, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” The apostle Paul encourages honest and loving communication, essential for setting and maintaining boundaries.

Reconciliation should not come at the expense of your health or values. Compromising boundaries to restore a relationship can lead to further issues, reinforcing unhealthy dynamics. Prioritize your well-being and respect yourself enough to enforce healthy limits. When you make that choice, the resulting reconciliation will be loving and kind, benefiting both parties.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/jeffbergen
7. Trust God’s Plan

7. Trust God’s Plan

The story isn’t over just because a person isn’t willing to reconcile. Things may change over time. Trusting God’s timing provides comfort, hope, and strength to continue praying and waiting. You can then surrender your efforts and frustrations to God, believing he has a greater purpose and perfect timing for everything in your life.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God’s intentions are always for our good, even when we face relational challenges. Trusting in his plan means believing he is working behind the scenes and orchestrating events for your benefit.

Surrendering control and trusting God’s timing can be difficult, especially when you desire immediate resolution. Proverbs 3:5-6 provides guidance: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” These verses encourage you to rely on God’s wisdom rather than your own, assuring that he will guide you to the best outcome, providing you with needed perseverance.

You demonstrate faith in His sovereignty by trusting God’s plan and timing. This offers peace amidst uncertainty, knowing God is in control and will lead you towards His perfect purpose.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Ippei Naoi

 

Salem News Channel Today

Sponsored Links

On Air & Up Next

See the Full Program Guide