1. Praying to God

Praying is the best way to prepare your heart for adoption. Be honest with Him about all of your fears and worries. Maybe you are afraid your adopted child will have a hard time adjusting to your family’s life. This can be a huge worry, especially if the child is older. There is a reputation that older children who are waiting to be adopted are troubled, but with God's peace and trauma training, you can be the family to say yes and offer a forever family to an older child. 

If you have the opportunity take time to know the child yourself and see the beauty of their character, personality, and heart. Even if an older child has a more difficult attitude, you must remember that they have been through a lot. As you learn their story, your empathy for the struggles they endured can help grow your heart of love for the child in your care. It is also impossible to know how much pain they have gone through. Allow God to guide you and seek out support so you can have the tools you need to walk this road well. 

As you pray to God, ask Him to direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5- 6, 16:9). He is faithful and will help you on your adoption journey. When any fear or worry comes to mind, present it to Him. Whether the child you plan to adopt is a boy, girl, an infant, or a teen, be open to where God is guiding. He truly knows best, and you can trust Him.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/PIKSEL

2. Studying Up on Adoption

Adoption agencies typically have a long process before a couple can adopt a child. You and your spouse will have to show proof that you are both mentally and physically able to take care of the child, have enough financial support for the child, and will provide the child with a safe home. This might sound simple, but it can be pretty extensive, and it is best to be aware of the process beforehand. 

In addition to studying the adoption agency, learning about child development is essential. This is especially helpful if this will be your first child. Even if you have children of your own, you need to take time to refresh your memory. If you are adopting a child from another country, learning about their culture is essential. Adopting a child from another country can be especially challenging for the child as they are not only losing their family of origin but also their culture. Taking time to be ready as a parent as you support your child through this massive transition is a great way to love the child you welcome into your home. 

The future of this child is in your hands. All parenting is challenging, but adoption comes with unique stressors that we as parents must prepare ourselves for. Adopted children have to navigate their own trauma, losses, and questions as they grow. Be ready for these questions and feelings, and ensure you answer them and respond to them in a way that shows God’s love for them. 

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fstop123

3. Prepare a Space for Them

If you already have the adoption papers sorted and are only waiting for the day to pick up your child, preparing a space for them is essential. Decorating their room can also be a lot of fun, and it allows the reality to settle in. You and your spouse are adopting a beautiful child, and this child is a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3).

Decorate their room in a warm and welcoming way. Also, allow them some freedom to decorate anything they want. If the child you are adopting is older, give them more freedom to decorate. However, if they are younger, try to ensure the necessities are in place, such as a crib, a changing station, and toys to keep them entertained.

Remember that the child you bring into your home will truly appreciate the love you are showing them. Welcome them home and help them know they belong in your family. It might take time, but a warm, comforting, and loving room is a great start.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Xavier Lorenzo

4. Be Open with Your Spouse

As you prepare your heart for adoption, you also want to talk with your spouse. Talking with your spouse specifically about adoption can help you work through any worries together. You should also pray to God together as a couple and involve Him in all your decisions. As you are open with your spouse, allow them to be open with you. It could be they are also worried about becoming a first-time parent or adopting for the first time.

Be a source of support for them and help them to know that their worries are valid. If your spouse is easily worried, let them know that adoption is beautiful. While it will take much work, it is worth it. To welcome a child into your home is a true blessing to the child. Without you and your spouse adopting them, they might forever go through the system until they become a legal adult and be forced out of the agency to face the world alone.

This happens all too often, leading the individual down a dark road. How much better would it be if you and your spouse welcomed them into your home instead? Could you discuss these things with your spouse and keep the conversation open? Even after signing the adoption papers, it is crucial to communicate with your spouse and work through issues as a couple. Marriage counseling or family counseling may also prove to be helpful.

Photo Credit: A Prayer to Build Purposeful Quiet Time with Your Spouse | Your Daily Prayer

5. Consider God’s Love for Adoption

Consider God’s love for adoption. Following the road of adoption is following after God’s own heart. The Apostle Paul says, “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship” (Galatians 4:4-5). This passage alone shows the connection between the Gospel and adoption.

If we had never been adopted as daughters and sons by God, then we would be lost in our sins. As it is, the Father went to great lengths to redeem us and to bring us under His loving protection. Because of placing faith in Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, we are now adopted as God’s children. This adoption will last forever, and we will be seen as the true children of God. God doesn’t view us as “His adopted children.” Instead, He views us just as His sons and daughters.

As parents who are also about to adopt, you should see your children similarly. Embrace them fully while still being open about their stories and help them process their unique situation. God’s love for adoption can help us show this same love to our future children. You will also welcome an excellent addition to your family, filling your household with love, happiness, and smiles.

Related Resource: From Trauma to Triumph: Homeschooling a Diverse Family

This episode of Empowering Homeschool Conversations features an inspiring interview with popular Christian non-fiction author and speaker, Shari Howard McMinn! As the loving "Mom" to 11 children through marriage, birth, and adoption, Shari has homeschooled 9 of them to high school graduation. If you liked this episode of Empowering Homeschool Conversations, be sure to subscribe on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode.

Photo Credit:  ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Kameleon007

1. Praying to God

Praying is the best way to prepare your heart for adoption. Be honest with Him about all of your fears and worries. Maybe you are afraid your adopted child will have a hard time adjusting to your family’s life. This can be a huge worry, especially if the child is older. There is a reputation that older children who are waiting to be adopted are troubled, but with God's peace and trauma training, you can be the family to say yes and offer a forever family to an older child. 

If you have the opportunity take time to know the child yourself and see the beauty of their character, personality, and heart. Even if an older child has a more difficult attitude, you must remember that they have been through a lot. As you learn their story, your empathy for the struggles they endured can help grow your heart of love for the child in your care. It is also impossible to know how much pain they have gone through. Allow God to guide you and seek out support so you can have the tools you need to walk this road well. 

As you pray to God, ask Him to direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5- 6, 16:9). He is faithful and will help you on your adoption journey. When any fear or worry comes to mind, present it to Him. Whether the child you plan to adopt is a boy, girl, an infant, or a teen, be open to where God is guiding. He truly knows best, and you can trust Him.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/PIKSEL

2. Studying Up on Adoption

Adoption agencies typically have a long process before a couple can adopt a child. You and your spouse will have to show proof that you are both mentally and physically able to take care of the child, have enough financial support for the child, and will provide the child with a safe home. This might sound simple, but it can be pretty extensive, and it is best to be aware of the process beforehand. 

In addition to studying the adoption agency, learning about child development is essential. This is especially helpful if this will be your first child. Even if you have children of your own, you need to take time to refresh your memory. If you are adopting a child from another country, learning about their culture is essential. Adopting a child from another country can be especially challenging for the child as they are not only losing their family of origin but also their culture. Taking time to be ready as a parent as you support your child through this massive transition is a great way to love the child you welcome into your home. 

The future of this child is in your hands. All parenting is challenging, but adoption comes with unique stressors that we as parents must prepare ourselves for. Adopted children have to navigate their own trauma, losses, and questions as they grow. Be ready for these questions and feelings, and ensure you answer them and respond to them in a way that shows God’s love for them. 

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fstop123

3. Prepare a Space for Them

If you already have the adoption papers sorted and are only waiting for the day to pick up your child, preparing a space for them is essential. Decorating their room can also be a lot of fun, and it allows the reality to settle in. You and your spouse are adopting a beautiful child, and this child is a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3).

Decorate their room in a warm and welcoming way. Also, allow them some freedom to decorate anything they want. If the child you are adopting is older, give them more freedom to decorate. However, if they are younger, try to ensure the necessities are in place, such as a crib, a changing station, and toys to keep them entertained.

Remember that the child you bring into your home will truly appreciate the love you are showing them. Welcome them home and help them know they belong in your family. It might take time, but a warm, comforting, and loving room is a great start.

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Xavier Lorenzo

4. Be Open with Your Spouse

As you prepare your heart for adoption, you also want to talk with your spouse. Talking with your spouse specifically about adoption can help you work through any worries together. You should also pray to God together as a couple and involve Him in all your decisions. As you are open with your spouse, allow them to be open with you. It could be they are also worried about becoming a first-time parent or adopting for the first time.

Be a source of support for them and help them to know that their worries are valid. If your spouse is easily worried, let them know that adoption is beautiful. While it will take much work, it is worth it. To welcome a child into your home is a true blessing to the child. Without you and your spouse adopting them, they might forever go through the system until they become a legal adult and be forced out of the agency to face the world alone.

This happens all too often, leading the individual down a dark road. How much better would it be if you and your spouse welcomed them into your home instead? Could you discuss these things with your spouse and keep the conversation open? Even after signing the adoption papers, it is crucial to communicate with your spouse and work through issues as a couple. Marriage counseling or family counseling may also prove to be helpful.

Photo Credit: A Prayer to Build Purposeful Quiet Time with Your Spouse | Your Daily Prayer

5. Consider God’s Love for Adoption

Consider God’s love for adoption. Following the road of adoption is following after God’s own heart. The Apostle Paul says, “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship” (Galatians 4:4-5). This passage alone shows the connection between the Gospel and adoption.

If we had never been adopted as daughters and sons by God, then we would be lost in our sins. As it is, the Father went to great lengths to redeem us and to bring us under His loving protection. Because of placing faith in Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, we are now adopted as God’s children. This adoption will last forever, and we will be seen as the true children of God. God doesn’t view us as “His adopted children.” Instead, He views us just as His sons and daughters.

As parents who are also about to adopt, you should see your children similarly. Embrace them fully while still being open about their stories and help them process their unique situation. God’s love for adoption can help us show this same love to our future children. You will also welcome an excellent addition to your family, filling your household with love, happiness, and smiles.

Related Resource: From Trauma to Triumph: Homeschooling a Diverse Family

This episode of Empowering Homeschool Conversations features an inspiring interview with popular Christian non-fiction author and speaker, Shari Howard McMinn! As the loving "Mom" to 11 children through marriage, birth, and adoption, Shari has homeschooled 9 of them to high school graduation. If you liked this episode of Empowering Homeschool Conversations, be sure to subscribe on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode.

Photo Credit:  ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Kameleon007