New Year, Same Single?
Happy New Year
Audio By Carbonatix
By Liz Lampkin, Crosswalk.com
The end of the year is swiftly approaching, and the dawn of a new one is just around the corner. It’s amazing how God has arranged the connecting of one era to the beginning of the next so closely together. As the hustle and bustle of the holiday season continues, people are preparing for the culmination of making it through another year. At the end of each year, many people make resolutions to live an aspect of their lives differently for their personal improvement. Living a healthier lifestyle, being a better steward of finances, or more self-care are a few general New Year’s resolutions people make and often break within the first few months of the new year.
For singles, many tend to make resolutions involving their dating lives. Some resolve to date more often, others resolve not to date at all, and others plan to prepare themselves to be found by the one God has for them. The holiday season often sparks the creation of New Year’s resolutions that result in them finding a partner to begin the New Year with. As the end and beginning of the year highlights couples, this is often just to fill the absence of a partner. While there is nothing wrong with this, I want to encourage singles making resolutions for the New Year to plan to be a better single; watch how your life changes and positively influences those around you. Here’s how.
Pray for a New Mindset Concerning Your Singleness
Don’t view it as a burden. As you enter a new year, intentionally shift your mindset about your singleness. Embrace growth and challenge any negative thoughts about it. Take time daily to pray and ask God to regulate your thoughts about singleness. Ask Him to place His thoughts about singleness in your mind so that you may live and walk in it as He desires.
Be Intentional about Planning Solo Experiences to Get to Know Yourself
Many people feel awkward engaging in activities alone, but there’s no reason to. It’s one of the most liberating experiences a person can engage in. To start, you can make a list of things you’ve always wanted to do and get going on them by yourself. You can do something once a month, bi-monthly, quarterly, or anytime you see fit. No matter when you do it, just make sure it’s a solo adventure you’ll never forget.
Develop Solid Relationships with Singles Who Understand what Being Single Is About
Surround yourself with singles who understand that singleness is a gift from God that should be lived in abundance according to His will. Schedule outings, prayer sessions, Bible studies, and even trips with them. As the old saying goes, birds of a feather flock together, so you want to make sure that you belong to a flock that is soaring above the average flock of singles.
Understand That Your Relationship Status Does Not Define You
Many singles believe that their relationship status defines who they are. While it is a part of who you are, it is not all of who you are. As you walk into the new year, make sure you understand all of who you are and shy away from defining your existence around your relationship status.
Take Some Time to Intentionally Reflect on What Being Single Means to You
In the upcoming year, take some time to think back on your experiences with being single. Think about relationships that started or ended. Think about experiences you’ve shared with or without others, singles ministry work you’ve done, or anything you’ve engaged in. Think about what these things meant to you or how they made you feel, and make changes as you see fit to enhance your next set of experiences. Life is about reflection and growth, no matter what season you’re in. So be sure to reflect and grow in your singleness every day.
Unlearn What You Know about Singleness and Relearn Something New about It
Many single people have learned lies about singleness throughout their lives, and it’s time to change these narratives. Take some time to unlearn falsehoods about singleness and learn the truth about it each day. You can begin this process by identifying what should be unlearned, challenging those things, and replacing them with fresh truths. This won’t be an uneasy process, but it’s worth it.
Don’t Center Your Singleness Around Dating
I know this is a lot easier said than done, but as much as possible, try your best not to center your singleness in dating. Whether it’s rekindling an old flame or starting a new one, taking time away from dating to heal yourself or spend time with yourself is one of the best ways to become better at being single.
Get Active in Your Church’s Singles Ministry
If your church has an active singles ministry, join it and meet other Christian singles who are on the same road you’re on. When you do this, go in with an open mind and spirit to meet like-minded singles and bring suggestions to the table for everyone to enjoy.
Define Your Singleness According to God’s Word
If you are unsure of what singleness means to you, take some time to define it for yourself. Think about how your singleness is different from others and what you want it to be. Pray and ask God to tell you how He has designed your singleness; write it out, and add to that definition daily.
Positively Affirm Your Singleness Every Day!
Take time each day to uplift and encourage yourself in every season of your singleness. You can create personal affirmations or read affirmations that push you forward in your singleness. To take things a step further, you can create a vision board of positive affirmations and position it in a space where you can see it clearly every day.
Be Grateful for Your Singleness
Take some time each day to show gratitude for your singleness. So many singles in the world overlook the blessing of singleness and take it for granted. Don’t let this be you. You can show gratitude for your singleness by first and foremost thanking God for it; you can make a list of reasons why you’re grateful for your singleness or journal grateful thoughts you have about it. Wherever you start, be sure you continue to be grateful for your singleness. You never know who you may help along the way.
Show Yourself Grace in Your Seasons of Singleness
During your seasons of singleness, show yourself grace on this journey. Many singles put so much pressure on themselves to find or fall in love that they become bitter or resentful towards this amazing journey in life. In the upcoming year, show yourself compassion and forgive your past mistakes that may have made you bitter about your singleness.
If you notice, I’ve listed 12 simple steps you can take or engage in for every month of the year to become a better single. While this process won’t happen overnight, if you are intentional about improving, changes will come about slowly and steadily. Singles, as you/we embark upon a new year, please understand that it is more than okay to be single and live in it boldly. Redefine it for what God says it is, and live in its blessing every day.
Related Resource: Let God Reframe Your Year: A Psalm 107 Year-End Reflection
As we wrap up our year together, I want to invite you into this meaningful spiritual practice: looking back on the year through the lens of Psalm 107 to identify the “fingerprints of God’s faithfulness. In this episode, we'll walk through four redemptive storylines found in Psalm 107—each representing a way God rescues, restores, and reorients His people. Whether you felt lost, trapped, wounded, self-destructive, or overwhelmed by storms, I encourage you to reflect on how God met you in weakness and brought deliverance. This episode is part of our How to Study the Bible Podcast, a show that brings life back to reading the Bible and helps you understand even the hardest parts of Scripture. If this episode helps you know and love God more, be sure to subscribe to the How to Study the Bible Podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Author Liz Lampkin is an experienced writer, teacher, and speaker. She is an advocate for singles who encourages them to live their best life God’s way. Follow her on Instagram @Liz_Lampkin.
