How to Fall in Love with Valentine's Day as a Lonely Single
St. Valentine's Day
Audio By Carbonatix
By Vivian Bricker, Crosswalk.com
Valentine's Day is known as the day of love across the globe. It is a time when couples and spouses celebrate their love for one another. While Valentine's Day is a beautiful holiday, it can feel anything but joyful if you are a lonely single. Throughout college and grad school, I was continually the only person without a date. This made me unworthy, embarrassed, and inferior. While everyone else was happy and embracing their relationships, I felt like I was decaying.
Although this was challenging and still is at times, I have learned to be okay with being single. It is normal to want to be in a relationship (Genesis 2:18), but we don't need to think less of ourselves if we are not in one. Jesus loves us beyond measure, and at the end of the day, His love is the greatest love we could ever experience in this life (Romans 5:8).
Leave Room for Grief
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).
Even though we know the Lord loves us, it can be challenging to face Valentine's Day alone. Leave room for your feelings and allow Christ to meet you where you are (Matthew 11:28-30). When we think about grief, we often only think about the death of loved ones. However, we can also grieve things we never got to experience, such as a relationship. Share all your feelings with Christ – the worries, anxieties, and troubles (1 Peter 5:7).
Jesus will bring you comfort and surround you with grace (Romans 15:13). Allow yourself time to cry and grieve this Valentine's Day. You don't have to pretend you are okay if you are not. God doesn't expect you to fake smiles. Give yourself time to grieve, and once you are ready, you can start approaching the Valentine season in a new light.
Something that personally helped me was reflecting upon Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (New Living Translation). This passage helps us understand that we are God’s masterpiece and that He has wonderful plans in store for our lives.
As lonely singles, this can bring comfort and purpose into our hearts. Rather than feeling like you are a “mistake,” “not beautiful,” or “unworthy,” remind yourself that you are God’s masterpiece. God didn't make a mistake when He created you; instead, He created you with great purpose. Start discovering your purpose today.
Perhaps you really love creating art, learning a new sport, or writing books. Start cultivating your natural interests and feed into them. Once you are involved with something you love, you will not feel as lonely. For example, if you really love creating art, make a few Valentine's crafts to celebrate the holiday. If you wanted, you could invite a few friends over to make crafts with you, bake delicious treats, and watch your favorite movies. Think about what would help you rediscover your love for Valentine's Day while also cultivating your natural talents, gifts, and abilities.
Challenge Questions:
- Have you taken time to grieve?
- What steps can you take toward healing?
- What are your favorite activities? How might they help you rediscover your love for Valentine's Day?
Dear Jesus, I have grieved this Valentine's Day for the relationship I never experienced. I want a partner, but continue to be alone. Please help me to see my worth in Your eyes. You say I am Your masterpiece – please help me to apply this to my life. I want to complete the plans You have for me, regardless of my relationship status. I'm not going to hate Valentine's Day any longer.
I will rediscover my love for Valentine's Day by reflecting on Your love, my worth in Your eyes, and all the blessings in my life. It is easy to think about all the things I don't have, but I am focusing on what I do have. I have You, and this means I have everything I could ever need or want. Thank You for covering me with Your love, Jesus. In Your Name, I pray, Amen.
Embrace God’s Love
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:37-39).
Falling in love with Valentine's Day as a lonely single will not happen overnight, but it is possible. The more we embrace God’s love, the less lonely we will feel. It is normal to want to be in a relationship, but we must know that God’s love is the greatest love of all. Jesus tells us, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
Jesus died so we could be reconnected with the Father. Think about this for a moment—Jesus left Heaven to die the death we deserved to bring us to Him. There is no greater love than the love that is found in the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Embrace God’s love for you this Valentine's Day. It can profoundly change the way you approach this love-filled holiday.
Challenge Questions:
- Jesus loves you beyond words. How does this make you view Valentine's Day differently?
- God’s love is the greatest love of all. How might taking hold of His love alleviate your feelings of loneliness?
- What is holding you back from embracing God’s love?
Dear God, Your love is greater than any love a person could offer me on this earth. Your love is steadfast, steady, and unconditional. Please help me to fully embrace Your love, even when I do not feel it. Transform my heart to know that I am loved by You.
I trust in Your great love; it helps me feel seen, heard, and validated this Valentine's Day. Encourage my weary heart to truly celebrate this beautiful holiday. The hearts, the decorations, and the fun activities are too joyful to hate. Help me to fall in love with Valentine's Day again, Father. In Jesus’ Name, I pray, Amen.
Celebrate Valentine's Day in Your Own Unique Way
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4).
As lonely singles on Valentine's Day, we are faced with two options: we can either feel crestfallen over our present situation or we can rejoice in our current season of life. While it is completely okay to take time to grieve, we also need to know it is okay to move forward. We can celebrate Valentine's Day in our own unique ways this year.
We could go ice-skating with friends, go over to our mom’s house for a girls' night, or host a Galentine’s Day celebration. If you wanted to go solo this Valentine's Day, you could do an activity you love, such as a Valentine's Day-themed painting or pottery class. If you are a sports enthusiast, you could go cycling, running, or hiking. The main goal is to celebrate Valentine's Day in a way that brings you joy.
God doesn't want you to hate Valentine's Day, nor does He want you to grow bitter toward those who are in relationships. He desires for you to grow in Him, realize your worth in Him, and become the person He created you to be. Seize the day, make the most of every opportunity, and rejoice in the life God has for you (Ephesians 5:15-16). This might not be your last Valentine’s Day alone, but it will be the last Valentine's where you feel lonely.
Challenge Questions:
- What are your favorite activities? How might you squeeze them in on Valentine's Day?
- God wants you to rejoice in every situation. What might this look like in your life right now?
- Trust God with the process. What are some additional ways you can fall in love with Valentine's Day all over again, regardless of your relationship status?
Dear Jesus, for so long I thought Valentine's Day was only about the love between a man and a woman. I understand now that it reflects the love You have for me. For this reason, I will rejoice. You are my great and powerful Savior, who only wants good things for me. I will lift my voice in praise to You this Valentine's Day. I will not hate Valentine's Day – there is so much to love!
Please help me find the activities I enjoy and make time for them this Valentine's Day. I do not have to be in a relationship to rejoice. I can rejoice because I know You. All glory, praise, and worship belong to You, Jesus. Amen.
Related:
7 Comforting Verses to Read if Valentine's Day Is Full of Heartache
7 Fun Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day, Even Single
Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.
