How to Make Valentine's Day Special for Your Child Going through Heartbreak
St. Valentine's Day
Audio By Carbonatix
By Amanda Idleman, Crosswalk.com
Valentine's Day is meant to be an upbeat, adorable day for us all to celebrate love! It's an especially sweet holiday for our children. Valentine's Day is a chance to show them some extra care and love.
What do we do, though, if our kids are walking through a season of grief and heartbreak? Showering them with reminders of this sappy romantic holiday probably won't go over well. We have to be sensitive to what they may be feeling and how to acknowledge their pain, as it seems the rest of the world is busy celebrating.
Even when walking through heartbreak, feeling loved and seen is still possible. Those are the moments when we need to ensure our kids do not feel alone. It's a chance for them to see that they have so much love in their lives, even when a relationship has failed. We are their reminder that they can remain hopeful that a good future is still possible for them.
1. Share a Meal with Them
When your child is processing a loss over any holiday, they will likely need extra love and care from you. It's so important that your child does not feel isolated as they navigate their grief. It's in those lonely places that the enemy of our souls can easily begin to speak lies of rejection into our hearts. Make a point to be with your child on Valentine's Day so they know they are never alone in their heartbreak.
Valentine's dinner is something that couples all over typically spend together. Take the time to share that meal with your child. Order some takeout, go out to eat at their favorite place, or just cook them something special! They need to feel loved during this tender time.
2. Write Them a Note of Encouragement
If talking isn't your child's favorite thing right now, then put some pen to paper and compose a note of encouragement and prayer for them. Let them know that God promises them a hope-filled future (Jeremiah 29:11) and that he works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). He loves us and promises to be our Comforter in our times of need (2 Corinthians 1:3).
Remind them that they are brave, they are precious, and that they are always loved. Tell them that you are proud of them and see them. Share your heart of love with them so they can know that no matter how much pain they are in right now, they are still cherished by you!
3. Plan an Activity
Distraction is a great tool when the world is busy telling us we should feel a way we just can't right now. Plan a distraction for your kiddo! Do they love art? Go paint some pottery. Are they into sports? Bring them to the gym and keep them busy. Do they love reading? Check out the library or a local bookstore. Plan a way to keep them busy so their mind can take a break from being heartbroken.
4. Have Your Community Love On Them
Show your child that so many people care for them! Invite your community to shower your child with extra love. Prompt those who love your family to text, call, or write a note of love for your child. Plan a small gathering with those closest to them to show them extra love. Get creative in prompting your village to make your child feel so very loved.
5. Plan a Day Trip
If you have time and money, why not get out of dodge for the day? A change of scenery is always good for a troubled soul. Sometimes, we need a fresh perspective to see the light that is always trying to reach us in our very darkest moments. Through some supplies in the car, ditch the day's schedule, and go somewhere new. My personal favorite is anything on the water, but if you're a mountain family, those are great, too. This change of pace could even just be driving into town to try a new coffee shop, checking out some different shops, and enjoying life slowly together for one whole day.
6. Throw a Pity Party
My Mom loved to throw us 'pity parties' when things were not going our way. The way you throw the party is to gather lots of junk food and ice cream, get in comfy clothes, and choose several movies to watch together. It's just a chance to wallow for a bit. It's a chance to be sad together. Don't ignore the pain; let it be, and then once you've felt it, give yourself permission to move forward and begin to heal.
7. Be Their Valentine
For a child that just needs to be someone's Valentine, you can step up and take that role for them! Get them the flowers, chocolates, bears, cards, and whatever else they would expect from their Valentine. Don't let the day go unnoticed, but lean into the tradition. Let them be yours this Valentine's Day!
8. Plan a Family Game Night
Get the whole family involved in cheering up your child as they navigate their own sadness and plan a family game night. Make that amazing charcuterie spread, choose your favorite games to play together, and let laughter help soothe some of the pain in your home. Time with family is some of the best medicine for grief and loss.
As our children undergo ups and downs in their own lives, it's a blessing to be a constant source of strength for them. We are there to forever remind them that they are worthy of love, that God's grace is always sufficient to meet their needs, and that his peace and joy are always available to us, even in our darkest hours. Thankfully, comforting our kids is not just up to us. We can trust that God will work in our kids' lives for their good, no matter the circumstances. He never wastes our pain.
Related Resource: Your Kids' Spiritual Growth Matters More Than Harvard: Gary Thomas on Parenting for Eternity
Gary Thomas (bestselling author of Sacred Marriage, Sacred Parenting) is back on the podcast to discuss his latest book, The Life You Were Reborn to Live: Dismantling 12 Lies About Remaining in God's Love. Gary challenges common parenting myths that Christians often fall into, and offers practical ways on how to live life God's way, not the world's. Let's learn together how to create Christ-centered homes, prioritize God's kingdom over family idols, and embrace spiritual adventure over control. If you like what you hear, be sure to follow The Happy Home Podcast with Arlene Pellicane on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is encouraging others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for Your Nightly Prayer, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, Your Daily Prayer, and more. She has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com, Biblestudytools.com, and Christianity.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas, alongside her husband’s companion devotional, Shepherd. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.
