Rule 1: Don’t Let Your Relationship Status Define Your Holiday Joy

The holiday season is a time of year when couples become engaged, and married couples and their families showcase their family portraits for the world to see and admire. These things, amongst others, can be disheartening for singles who are uncoupled during this time of the year. Singles, if you’re going to enjoy this holiday season to the fullest, don’t let your relationship status define you. This starts by understanding that your singleness is more than a relationship status and should be treated as such. This step continues by rooting your identity in who God made you to be, not by who you’re with or desire to be with. Next, always prioritize spiritual growth, purpose, and God’s calling for your life. Last, define what holiday joy looks like for you, regardless of your relationship status. Whether you are in a relationship or exercising your dating options, understand that your joy, in and out of the holiday season, is not determined by your relationship status.

Rule 2: Limit Conversations with People Who Drain You

Limiting conversations with people who drain you is an act of self-respect and emotional safety. As a single Christian, you don’t owe anyone constant access to your time or energy, especially those who delve into your personal matters of the heart, compare, or pressure you about your relationship status. Protecting your peace by limiting certain conversations enables you to stay grounded in God’s truth, rather than others’ expectations. Choose a community of people that encourages you on your journey of singleness. Remember that it’s okay to shorten conversations, redirect topics, or create space from people who consistently leave you feeling incomplete in your singleness.

Rule 3: Celebrate Your Single Wins Out Loud

The holiday season brings about celebrations with family, friends, and other communities. These timeless celebrations bring people together to celebrate the values that shape and bring us together to celebrate God’s goodness, and to reflect and rejoice together. Singles, during this year's holiday celebrations, take a moment to think back over the year and celebrate your wins aloud! Celebrate the prayers God answered, the boundaries you honored, the emotional healing you pursued, the projects you completed, the courage you showed, or the peace you protected. A few things you can do include having a gratitude dinner, taking a solo retreat, giving yourself a small gift, or spending a night of worship and reflection. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it celebrates you and your accomplishments unapologetically.

Rule 4: Stay Rooted in Scripture, Not Seasonal Pressure

God’s Holy Word is the book of life for all believers. It is filled with His divine direction for our lives, encouragement for this journey we call life, and detailed reminders of His love for us. As the holiday season approaches, take some time to identify daily scriptures to encourage you on your single journey during this season. Establishing a personal rule of reading Scripture during the holidays anchors your heart in God rather than in expectations or perceptions. So, singles, before, during, or after the holiday season, make it a personal rule to remain rooted in Scripture so you are grounded in God’s reminders of who He created you to be in every season.

Rule 5: Remember the Focus of the Holiday Season

As a single Christian, establishing this personal holiday rule helps protect your heart from distractions, comparison, and emotional pressure to date or secure a marriage. When you intentionally refocus the season on Christ, you shift your mindset away from what you don’t have and toward what God has already given you. This rule also helps you remain grounded when conversations become too personal, when gatherings feel couple-centered, or when loneliness tries to creep in. By remembering the true focus, you anchor your joy in God’s love for you.

Rule 6: Remember That Singleness Is Not a Holiday Handicap

Refusing to treat your singleness as a disadvantage during the holiday season is a rule every single person should live by. Singleness is not a deficiency. It is not a setback, nor is it an obstacle that prevents you from enjoying the holidays. Singleness is the multifaceted time of life that is filled with purposeful seasons God has you in. So, when gatherings become couple-focused, or people express pity, remind yourself that your worth doesn’t shift with your relationship status. You are not missing something or waiting to become whole. You can participate fully in all festivities, celebrate deeply, and show up confidently because God’s presence, not a romantic partner, defines your joy. Singleness isn’t a holiday handicap. It is a valid, purposeful way to live and move through the season with grace and strength.

Rule 7: Give Yourself Permission to Enjoy the Season Fully

The holiday season comes with multiple days designated for celebration and each should be celebrated as one sees fit. As a single Christian, one holiday rule you can embrace is giving yourself permission to enjoy the season without guilt, hesitation, or self-consciousness. You don’t need a partner to experience joy, create traditions, or celebrate the goodness of God in your life. Release the idea that you must wait for a relationship to feel included, festive, or fulfilled. Enjoy the lights, the music, the gatherings, the rest, the worship, and the wonder of each holiday. Allow yourself to be fully present, to laugh, to participate, and to receive joy as it comes. Your singleness does not limit your celebration, your mindset does so take some time to apply this rule and shift your mindset.

Rule 8: Create Your Own Traditions

Traditions are the various beliefs, behaviors, activities or practices passed down from generation to generation within families, friendships or communities. The holiday season is the time of year when many traditions come in to play to maintain connections and foster a sense of belonging. For many singles, attending holiday gatherings with family is a tradition that can bring about mixed feelings solely due to their relationship status. To avoid family gatherings, or any gathering that makes you uncomfortable this holiday season, take some time to create and implement your own traditions. You can do things like take a solo trip, volunteer at a shelter, or deliver encouraging notes to those who need it. Whatever you decide to do this holiday season to create your own rules and traditions, make sure it brings you joy.

Rule 9: Practice Gratitude for What Is, Not What’s Missing

Practicing gratitude is something that everyone should do, regardless of the time of year. Being grateful for the things you have is something we often take for granted because more often than not, we are primarily focused on the things we don’t have. But God reminds us in His Word that He is our Shepherd, so we lack nothing. This year, make it a holiday rule to shift your focus from who or what is absent in your life to the abundance in your life. It’s easy for singles to dwell on what isn’t happening: a relationship, a proposal, a family of your own—but gratitude redirects your heart to God’s active work in your life. Thank Him for the friendships, opportunities, growth, provision, and peace He’s already given you. Celebrate the prayers He’s answered and the doors He’s opening. Gratitude doesn’t deny your desires; it simply frees them from becoming the center of your holiday experience. When you practice gratitude for what is, you reclaim the season with clarity, joy, and spiritual confidence.

Rule 10: Bring Purpose Into the Holidays, Not Pressure

Bringing purpose into the holidays makes the season more meaningful, personally fulfilling, and creates less stress. Singles make it a rule this holiday season to choose purpose over pressure. The holiday season can place unfair expectations on single Christians, pressure to show up perfectly, explain your relationship status, or meet cultural timelines you never agreed to. But God didn’t design this season to squeeze you into a box—He designed it to shape you. Instead of letting pressure dictate your emotions, intentionally seek purpose. Serve someone in need, create meaningful traditions, deepen your spiritual practices, or invest in the people who genuinely pour into you. When purpose becomes your guide, the holidays stop feeling like a test you’re failing and start feeling like a space where God is actively at work in you.

Singles, the holiday season isn’t something that you have to simply “get through.” By setting clear, intentional rules, it can become a spiritually rich, emotionally steady, and genuinely joyful time. When you protect your peace, honor your boundaries, and stay rooted in purpose rather than pressure, you free yourself to experience the season the way God intended: restful, reflective, and full of meaning. Singles, it is my prayer that you remember that your worth is not defined by your relationship status, your timeline is held securely in God's hands, and your joy is yours to claim. Let these rules or the rules you set guide you, strengthen you, and remind you that being single doesn’t reduce the beauty of the holidays; it reveals a different, powerful way to live them well.

Related:

12 Kind Responses to Uncomfortable Conversations

10 Tips for Dating During the Holidays

Rule 1: Don’t Let Your Relationship Status Define Your Holiday Joy

The holiday season is a time of year when couples become engaged, and married couples and their families showcase their family portraits for the world to see and admire. These things, amongst others, can be disheartening for singles who are uncoupled during this time of the year. Singles, if you’re going to enjoy this holiday season to the fullest, don’t let your relationship status define you. This starts by understanding that your singleness is more than a relationship status and should be treated as such. This step continues by rooting your identity in who God made you to be, not by who you’re with or desire to be with. Next, always prioritize spiritual growth, purpose, and God’s calling for your life. Last, define what holiday joy looks like for you, regardless of your relationship status. Whether you are in a relationship or exercising your dating options, understand that your joy, in and out of the holiday season, is not determined by your relationship status.

Rule 2: Limit Conversations with People Who Drain You

Limiting conversations with people who drain you is an act of self-respect and emotional safety. As a single Christian, you don’t owe anyone constant access to your time or energy, especially those who delve into your personal matters of the heart, compare, or pressure you about your relationship status. Protecting your peace by limiting certain conversations enables you to stay grounded in God’s truth, rather than others’ expectations. Choose a community of people that encourages you on your journey of singleness. Remember that it’s okay to shorten conversations, redirect topics, or create space from people who consistently leave you feeling incomplete in your singleness.

Rule 3: Celebrate Your Single Wins Out Loud

The holiday season brings about celebrations with family, friends, and other communities. These timeless celebrations bring people together to celebrate the values that shape and bring us together to celebrate God’s goodness, and to reflect and rejoice together. Singles, during this year's holiday celebrations, take a moment to think back over the year and celebrate your wins aloud! Celebrate the prayers God answered, the boundaries you honored, the emotional healing you pursued, the projects you completed, the courage you showed, or the peace you protected. A few things you can do include having a gratitude dinner, taking a solo retreat, giving yourself a small gift, or spending a night of worship and reflection. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it celebrates you and your accomplishments unapologetically.

Rule 4: Stay Rooted in Scripture, Not Seasonal Pressure

God’s Holy Word is the book of life for all believers. It is filled with His divine direction for our lives, encouragement for this journey we call life, and detailed reminders of His love for us. As the holiday season approaches, take some time to identify daily scriptures to encourage you on your single journey during this season. Establishing a personal rule of reading Scripture during the holidays anchors your heart in God rather than in expectations or perceptions. So, singles, before, during, or after the holiday season, make it a personal rule to remain rooted in Scripture so you are grounded in God’s reminders of who He created you to be in every season.

Rule 5: Remember the Focus of the Holiday Season

As a single Christian, establishing this personal holiday rule helps protect your heart from distractions, comparison, and emotional pressure to date or secure a marriage. When you intentionally refocus the season on Christ, you shift your mindset away from what you don’t have and toward what God has already given you. This rule also helps you remain grounded when conversations become too personal, when gatherings feel couple-centered, or when loneliness tries to creep in. By remembering the true focus, you anchor your joy in God’s love for you.

Rule 6: Remember That Singleness Is Not a Holiday Handicap

Refusing to treat your singleness as a disadvantage during the holiday season is a rule every single person should live by. Singleness is not a deficiency. It is not a setback, nor is it an obstacle that prevents you from enjoying the holidays. Singleness is the multifaceted time of life that is filled with purposeful seasons God has you in. So, when gatherings become couple-focused, or people express pity, remind yourself that your worth doesn’t shift with your relationship status. You are not missing something or waiting to become whole. You can participate fully in all festivities, celebrate deeply, and show up confidently because God’s presence, not a romantic partner, defines your joy. Singleness isn’t a holiday handicap. It is a valid, purposeful way to live and move through the season with grace and strength.

Rule 7: Give Yourself Permission to Enjoy the Season Fully

The holiday season comes with multiple days designated for celebration and each should be celebrated as one sees fit. As a single Christian, one holiday rule you can embrace is giving yourself permission to enjoy the season without guilt, hesitation, or self-consciousness. You don’t need a partner to experience joy, create traditions, or celebrate the goodness of God in your life. Release the idea that you must wait for a relationship to feel included, festive, or fulfilled. Enjoy the lights, the music, the gatherings, the rest, the worship, and the wonder of each holiday. Allow yourself to be fully present, to laugh, to participate, and to receive joy as it comes. Your singleness does not limit your celebration, your mindset does so take some time to apply this rule and shift your mindset.

Rule 8: Create Your Own Traditions

Traditions are the various beliefs, behaviors, activities or practices passed down from generation to generation within families, friendships or communities. The holiday season is the time of year when many traditions come in to play to maintain connections and foster a sense of belonging. For many singles, attending holiday gatherings with family is a tradition that can bring about mixed feelings solely due to their relationship status. To avoid family gatherings, or any gathering that makes you uncomfortable this holiday season, take some time to create and implement your own traditions. You can do things like take a solo trip, volunteer at a shelter, or deliver encouraging notes to those who need it. Whatever you decide to do this holiday season to create your own rules and traditions, make sure it brings you joy.

Rule 9: Practice Gratitude for What Is, Not What’s Missing

Practicing gratitude is something that everyone should do, regardless of the time of year. Being grateful for the things you have is something we often take for granted because more often than not, we are primarily focused on the things we don’t have. But God reminds us in His Word that He is our Shepherd, so we lack nothing. This year, make it a holiday rule to shift your focus from who or what is absent in your life to the abundance in your life. It’s easy for singles to dwell on what isn’t happening: a relationship, a proposal, a family of your own—but gratitude redirects your heart to God’s active work in your life. Thank Him for the friendships, opportunities, growth, provision, and peace He’s already given you. Celebrate the prayers He’s answered and the doors He’s opening. Gratitude doesn’t deny your desires; it simply frees them from becoming the center of your holiday experience. When you practice gratitude for what is, you reclaim the season with clarity, joy, and spiritual confidence.

Rule 10: Bring Purpose Into the Holidays, Not Pressure

Bringing purpose into the holidays makes the season more meaningful, personally fulfilling, and creates less stress. Singles make it a rule this holiday season to choose purpose over pressure. The holiday season can place unfair expectations on single Christians, pressure to show up perfectly, explain your relationship status, or meet cultural timelines you never agreed to. But God didn’t design this season to squeeze you into a box—He designed it to shape you. Instead of letting pressure dictate your emotions, intentionally seek purpose. Serve someone in need, create meaningful traditions, deepen your spiritual practices, or invest in the people who genuinely pour into you. When purpose becomes your guide, the holidays stop feeling like a test you’re failing and start feeling like a space where God is actively at work in you.

Singles, the holiday season isn’t something that you have to simply “get through.” By setting clear, intentional rules, it can become a spiritually rich, emotionally steady, and genuinely joyful time. When you protect your peace, honor your boundaries, and stay rooted in purpose rather than pressure, you free yourself to experience the season the way God intended: restful, reflective, and full of meaning. Singles, it is my prayer that you remember that your worth is not defined by your relationship status, your timeline is held securely in God's hands, and your joy is yours to claim. Let these rules or the rules you set guide you, strengthen you, and remind you that being single doesn’t reduce the beauty of the holidays; it reveals a different, powerful way to live them well.

Related:

12 Kind Responses to Uncomfortable Conversations

10 Tips for Dating During the Holidays