4 Truths to Remember as You Send Your Kid to College
Back To School
Audio By Carbonatix
4:30 AM on Tuesday, August 12
By Alicia Searl, Back To School
Truth #1: It’s Okay to Embrace All the Emotions
Yesterday I went to the store to get toothpaste and came out with tons of school supplies, cleaning products, and a few other knickknacks and trinkets I just knew my daughter would need. I mean, how can you go off to college without Clorox wipes and cute little decorative sticky notes? Yet, when I arrived at my car and began to unload it all into the back seat, that all too familiar lump began to form in the back of my throat. Thank goodness for sunglasses because I was able to hide a bit as I sobbed for a good thirty minutes in the parking lot.
The truth is that this time will be filled with emotional highs and lows, so much so that you may feel like a walking contradiction of feelings. One day, you are chugging right along, and then, wham! A certain song comes on, you pass that restaurant, or a memory pops up on your phone, and you’re immediately a blubbery mess.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 has been a verse I have clung to over the last year, maybe because it holds a solemn reminder that this life holds so many seasons. Some are filled with joy, and others are tainted with sorrow. So, my friend, it’s okay to give yourself permission to grieve in this transition. Be gracious and kind to yourself. Find other parents in the same season who can love and support you. Give God your heart in prayer and find time to give your soul peace by resting in the truth found in His Word.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Sarah Mason
Truth #2: Prepare for the Drop Off Now
If you haven’t noticed, everyone has advice on how to drop your kiddo off at college. Here is my advice – tune it all out! Go with what you are feeling led to do. Take time to seek God’s wisdom and grace, and remember that you know your kiddo best and you also know what your heart needs to help this transition go smoothly.
If you feel the need to stay for the day (or night) of move-in day to ensure they are set up for success, then do just that. On the other hand, if you don’t think it would be good to linger with the “good-bye,” then don’t. There is no right way to do this; however, if you are unsure how to approach the official drop-off, follow your kiddo’s lead. Just keep in mind that this day, and especially the ride home, is going to be emotionally draining. Stock up on Kleenex now!
In the end, take heart knowing that you poured your heart and soul into your child and did the best you could to prepare them for this very moment. That said, don’t discount your efforts and realize that this is the goal we all aim for – to allow our children the freedom to live (Psalm 127:5). No matter where this journey takes them, you laid down the foundation (Proverbs 22:6), you did your part, and while you will still be a vital part of their story, now it is time to let go, and let God shine!
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/KatarzynaBialasiewicz
Truth #3: Expect and Plan for Exponentially High Expenses
Now to address the elephant in the room. The part nobody really likes (or at least doesn’t enjoy) talking about – the cost! Whether you have been setting aside funds for college for a while or you are still trying to figure it all out, the amount can seem astronomical and daunting.
According to Heffernan Financial Group, “It is estimated that 83% of college students benefit from financial aid. Even affluent families can qualify for financial aid through federal grants as well as colleges themselves. Determining financial aid eligibility can be somewhat complicated, but the general formula considers your child’s assets first and then determines a family contribution portion of aid. It’s recommended that you start financial aid planning as early as high school.”
The truth is there is no one size that fits all. Praying for wisdom and for God to bring clarity in this season is essential, but it may also be wise to seek guidance from a financial adviser, as they may give options that can benefit your family.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/xavierarnau
Truth #4: Find a New Rhythm to Reclaim Joy
More than likely, you are experiencing a shift in your role as a parent and maybe even undergoing an identity crisis of sorts. I hear this is all par for the course, but it can be brutal. I know because I am right there with you.
This summer I had big dreams! We were supposed to enjoy our time together as a family. Rest was in order, and I figured we’d soothe our souls with deep conversations, long walks that promoted peace, and simply enjoy sweet moments where we could plan for our daughter’s future - together.
Unfortunately, that’s not exactly what happened. Ugh! While I was seeking to create lasting memories, my daughter was too, but it wasn’t necessarily with me. Sigh. What I have come to understand is that she is pulling away because she needs to. It’s all part of a plan that God has for her, and for me. The distance I have felt this summer (and maybe you have felt as well) is on purpose – His divine purpose.
So, yes, this transition is hard, and I am slowly coming to grips with it, but I am also beginning to find a new rhythm. I realize I have good days and not so good days. On the not so good days, I have a place to land and seek Jesus for support, it’s found in my backyard on our porch swing (coffee helps too). I suggest you find a spot to seek solace and gain rest and peace.
Yet, on the good days, I have found that I am experiencing joy with new hobbies and leaning into the many blessings God has placed in my life. Who knew I still had talents underneath the armor of motherhood? But, let me tell you – you do too! Seek out your passions, lean into your talents, and let God use your spiritual gifts to remind you that you have a higher calling. Just as God has been faithful in seasons of the past, He will be faithful and ever present in this season as well. You’ve got this because you’ve got Him!s
Related Resource: Debunking the Top Seven Lies Sold to the Next Generation
Culture is selling our kids a pack of lies every single day—are they buying? In this must-listen episode of Christian Parent/Crazy World, host Catherine Segars tackles one of the most pressing challenges facing Christian parents today: the pervasive, culture-wide lies targeting our children’s hearts and minds. As parents, recognizing and uprooting these falsehoods is essential if we want to raise godly kids in an ungodly world.If this episode helps you be a more thoughtful parent, be sure to follow Christian Parent, Crazy World on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
Photo Credit: GettyImages/deniskomarov
