Are You the Difficult One in Your Marriage? (Me Too!) - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - October 6

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Are You the Difficult One in Your Marriage? (Me Too!)
By: Jennifer Waddle

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. - James 3:17

There is no denying it. I am the difficult one in our marriage. Ask any one of our four kids, and if they are being honest, they will agree!

But you know what? I’ve come a long way over the last 28 years. Admitting my faults and applying the principles of God’s wisdom have literally moved mountains in our marriage.

It all started several years ago, when I was cooking dinner and listening to a Christian podcast. I heard a verse from James chapter 3 that stopped me in my tracks. It was a list of characteristics describing wisdom from above.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. - James 3:17

I scrambled to write those eight Godly attributes down, and hastened to begin applying them to my marriage. For one, I began yielding to my husband, allowing him to be the head of our household instead of always exerting my will. I made an effort to be gentle with my words, instead of being sarcastic and cutting. I stopped picking at his faults and started confessing my own. What a remarkable difference!

I cannot tell you how wonderful it has been to allow Godly wisdom to override my weaknesses. Often, I’m surprised at how easy it is to keep the peace, when once-upon-a-time I would have argued or stewed over things. I’m taken aback every time a gentle answer calms the situation and leads to healthy discussion. Over and over again, our marriage is blessed by these eight actionable characteristics.

If you are clashing in your marriage, no matter who is the more difficult party, please spend some time in James chapter 3. Read through the eight characteristics of wisdom and begin applying them one by one.

  • When impure thoughts arise, replace them with thankful thoughts for your spouse.
  • As conflicts flare up, find ways to douse them with peace.
  • When you’re tempted to speak harsh words in retaliation, try a gentle word in response.
  • If you are trying to exert your will and your way, yield first to the Father and then to your spouse.
  • When criticism fills your mind, replace it with mercy and forgiveness.
  • If there are bad habits in your life, cut them off and allow the fruit of the Spirit to grow.
  • Don’t favor anyone or anything else above your spouse. Remember, your devotion is first to God and then to your marriage. No partiality!
  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This golden rule keeps hypocrisy out of the marriage relationship.

One of the very first steps in becoming less difficult in your marriage is to get real with yourself and with God. Then, once you’ve admitted it, you can focus on living out the divine attributes of Godly wisdom. Take it from me—the difficult one in our marriage—putting these things into practice can make all the difference in the world.


Jennifer Waddle is a Kansas girl, married to a Colorado hunk, with a heart to encourage. She is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where “Discouragement Doesn’t Win.” She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth.

Photo credit: Nik Shuliahin/Unsplash

Check out fantastic resources on Faith, Family, and Fun at Crosswalk.com

Related Resource: Relapse, Trauma, and the Power of Community

Caroline Beidler still vividly remembers cracking open her first beer under a big oak tree. She was 11. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, host Jon Seidl sits down with Beidler—managing editor of recovery.com, author, and addiction recovery advocate—to explore her powerful story of childhood trauma, early addiction, spiritual awakening, relapse, and ultimate restoration through faith and community. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, share this podcast or follow Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

 

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Salem Radio Network Speakers

Larry Elder is an American lawyer, writer, and radio and television personality who calls himself the "Sage of South Central" a district of Los Angeles, Larry says his philosophy is to entertain, inform, provoke and to hopefully uplift. His calling card is "we have a country to save" and to him this means returning to the bedrock Constitutional principles of limited government and maximum personal responsibility. Elder's iconoclastic wit and intellectual agility makes him a particularly attractive voice in a nation that seems weary of traditional racial dialogue.” – Los Angeles Times.

Mike Gallagher Mike Gallagher began his broadcasting career in 1978 in Dayton, Ohio. Today, he is one of the most listened-to talk radio show hosts in America, recently having been ranked in the Talkers Magazine “Heavy Hundred” list – the 100 most important talk radio hosts in America. Prior to being launched into national syndication in 1998, Mike hosted the morning show on WABC-AM in New York City. Today, Talkers Magazine reports that his show is heard by over 3.75 million weekly listeners. Besides his radio work, Mike is seen on Fox News Channel as an on-air contributor, frequently appearing on the cable news giant.

Hugh Hewitt is one of the nation’s leading bloggers and a genuine media revolutionary. He brings that expertise, his wit and what The New Yorker magazine calls his “amiable but relentless manner” to his nationally syndicated show each day.

When Dr. Sebastian Gorka was growing up, he listened to talk radio under his pillow with a transistor radio, dreaming that one day he would be behind the microphone. Beginning New Year’s Day 2019, he got his wish. Gorka now hosts America First every weekday afternoon 3 to 6pm ET. Gorka’s unique story works well on the radio. He is national security analyst for the Fox News Channel and author of two books: "Why We Fight" and "Defeating Jihad." His latest book releasing this fall is “War For America’s Soul.” He is uniquely qualified to fight the culture war and stand up for what is great about America, his adopted home country.

Broadcasting from his home station of KRLA in Los Angeles, the Dennis Prager Show is heard across the country. Everything in life – from politics to religion to relationships – is grist for Dennis’ mill. If it’s interesting, if it affects your life, then Dennis will be talking about it – with passion, humor, insight and wisdom.

Sean Hannity is a conservative radio and television host, and one of the original primetime hosts on the Fox News Channel, where he has appeared since 1996. Sean Hannity began his radio career at a college station in California, before moving on to markets in the Southeast and New York. Today, he’s one of the most listened to on-air voices. Hannity’s radio program went into national syndication on September 10, 2001, and airs on more than 500 stations. Talkers Magazine estimates Hannity’s weekly radio audience at 13.5 million. In 1996 he was hired as one of the original hosts on Fox News Channel. As host of several popular Fox programs, Hannity has become the highest-paid news anchor on television.

Michelle Malkin is a mother, wife, blogger, conservative syndicated columnist, longtime cable TV news commentator, and best-selling author of six books. She started her newspaper journalism career at the Los Angeles Daily News in 1992, moved to the Seattle Times in 1995, and has been penning nationally syndicated newspaper columns for Creators Syndicate since 1999. She is founder of conservative Internet start-ups Hot Air and Twitchy.com. Malkin has received numerous awards for her investigative journalism, including the Council on Governmental Ethics Laws (COGEL) national award for outstanding service for the cause of governmental ethics and leadership (1998), the Reed Irvine Accuracy in Media Award for Investigative Journalism (2006), the Heritage Foundation and Franklin Center for Government & Public Integrity's Breitbart Award for Excellence in Journalism (2013), the Center for Immigration Studies' Eugene Katz Award for Excellence in the Coverage of Immigration Award (2016), and the Manhattan Film Festival's Film Heals Award (2018). Married for 26 years and the mother of two teenage children, she lives with her family in Colorado. Follow her at michellemalkin.com. (Photo reprinted with kind permission from Peter Duke Photography.)

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Are You the Difficult One in Your Marriage? (Me Too!) - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - October 6

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Audio By Carbonatix

The Crosswalk Devotional updated banner logo

Are You the Difficult One in Your Marriage? (Me Too!)
By: Jennifer Waddle

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. - James 3:17

There is no denying it. I am the difficult one in our marriage. Ask any one of our four kids, and if they are being honest, they will agree!

But you know what? I’ve come a long way over the last 28 years. Admitting my faults and applying the principles of God’s wisdom have literally moved mountains in our marriage.

It all started several years ago, when I was cooking dinner and listening to a Christian podcast. I heard a verse from James chapter 3 that stopped me in my tracks. It was a list of characteristics describing wisdom from above.

But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. - James 3:17

I scrambled to write those eight Godly attributes down, and hastened to begin applying them to my marriage. For one, I began yielding to my husband, allowing him to be the head of our household instead of always exerting my will. I made an effort to be gentle with my words, instead of being sarcastic and cutting. I stopped picking at his faults and started confessing my own. What a remarkable difference!

I cannot tell you how wonderful it has been to allow Godly wisdom to override my weaknesses. Often, I’m surprised at how easy it is to keep the peace, when once-upon-a-time I would have argued or stewed over things. I’m taken aback every time a gentle answer calms the situation and leads to healthy discussion. Over and over again, our marriage is blessed by these eight actionable characteristics.

If you are clashing in your marriage, no matter who is the more difficult party, please spend some time in James chapter 3. Read through the eight characteristics of wisdom and begin applying them one by one.

  • When impure thoughts arise, replace them with thankful thoughts for your spouse.
  • As conflicts flare up, find ways to douse them with peace.
  • When you’re tempted to speak harsh words in retaliation, try a gentle word in response.
  • If you are trying to exert your will and your way, yield first to the Father and then to your spouse.
  • When criticism fills your mind, replace it with mercy and forgiveness.
  • If there are bad habits in your life, cut them off and allow the fruit of the Spirit to grow.
  • Don’t favor anyone or anything else above your spouse. Remember, your devotion is first to God and then to your marriage. No partiality!
  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This golden rule keeps hypocrisy out of the marriage relationship.

One of the very first steps in becoming less difficult in your marriage is to get real with yourself and with God. Then, once you’ve admitted it, you can focus on living out the divine attributes of Godly wisdom. Take it from me—the difficult one in our marriage—putting these things into practice can make all the difference in the world.


Jennifer Waddle is a Kansas girl, married to a Colorado hunk, with a heart to encourage. She is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where “Discouragement Doesn’t Win.” She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth.

Photo credit: Nik Shuliahin/Unsplash

Check out fantastic resources on Faith, Family, and Fun at Crosswalk.com

Related Resource: Relapse, Trauma, and the Power of Community

Caroline Beidler still vividly remembers cracking open her first beer under a big oak tree. She was 11. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, host Jon Seidl sits down with Beidler—managing editor of recovery.com, author, and addiction recovery advocate—to explore her powerful story of childhood trauma, early addiction, spiritual awakening, relapse, and ultimate restoration through faith and community. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, share this podcast or follow Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!

 

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