Praying for Your Spouse after an Argument - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - May 15
Crosswalk Couples Devotional
Audio By Carbonatix
By Vivian Bricker, Crosswalk.com
Praying for Your Spouse after an Argument
By: Vivian Bricker
“‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26-27).
The pain after an argument is a different type of pain. We are all aware of the severity of physical pain; however, it is nothing compared to emotional pain. Careless words can lead to lasting pain. All of us have said hurtful words during an argument, only to regret them later. As Christians, we need to try to steer away from saying hurtful words, yet we cannot run from the fact that we are still fallen and we are in need of Jesus’ grace (Romans 3:23).
When we have an argument with our spouse, it can cause us to feel broken and hurt. The person we love the most is also the person who can hurt the most. This is why arguments with our spouse can leave us feeling maimed and alone. When you are recovering after an argument, it is best to turn to God. Go to Him in prayer and release your concerns to Him.
Most arguments boil over once the final straw has been broken. It could be you and your spouse have been facing problems in your marriage, which needs to be addressed. By actively being involved in communicating with your spouse, it can cut down on arguments because feelings will be shared before an argument erupts. If you have been arguing with your spouse a lot lately, it could be time to reach out to a Christian marriage counselor.
A Christian marriage counselor will be able to help you and your spouse work through any problems. If communication is a big problem, your counselor will be able to help you and your spouse communicate with each other in a healthy way. Christian marriage counseling can save marriages and make them stronger in progress. Choose to cultivate your relationship with your spouse and take time for intentionality.
If you are sitting at the feet of Jesus today because of a terrible argument with your spouse, know God is sitting beside you. He sees all of your pain and your broken heart. Maybe you said a few hurtful words to your spouse or your spouse said a few hurtful words to you. In either case, it is important to put the weapons down.
Our tongues act as weapons when we are in an argument ,and they can cause lasting damage. In the future, we need to use our words to build our spouses up, equip them with strength, and encourage them to follow the Lord. However, this doesn’t change the fact that hurtful words have been exchanged. As mentioned, go to God in prayer and present your requests to Him.
Share with Him your hurt feelings, but I also want you to pray for your spouse. Whether your spouse said hurtful words or not, you need to pray for them. You can pray for their healing, guidance from God, and for their forgiveness. Within the marriage covenant, there needs to be mutual love and respect. This cannot be done if one spouse has hurt the other. Make things right with your spouse and choose to talk things over.
As Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us, in our anger, we do not need to si,n and we don’t need to go to sleep when we are angry. If we go to sleep while we are still angry, we are giving the devil a foothold in our marriages. Instead of going to sleep angry, choose to talk with your spouse. Yet again, whether you were the one who was hurt or you hurt your spouse with your words, choose to communicate.
Communicate your feelings as well as any apologies. Even if you are not the one who said the hurtful words, go to your spouse and talk with them. It could be they said those hurtful words because they are hurting themselves or they are not feeling heard within the marriage. This is why it is necessary to truly communicate, to talk with your spouse, and to extend forgiveness.
Rather than going to sleep angry, choose to simmer down after praying to Jesus and then go talk to your spouse. Once you have prayed, it can help prepare your heart to talk to your spouse. Jesus will be able to give you peace (John 14:27). Jesus’ peace is for all of us, especially during times of emotional troubles.
Go to the Lord right now and pray,
“Dear Jesus, my spouse and I have just had a fight. I feel awful. I said many hurtful words, and my spouse said many hurtful things to me. Please Lord, help me to know what to say to my spouse. I don’t want to go to bed angry because I know that will only cause more problems to arise. Equip me with the words to say and allow me to extend forgiveness to my spouse. Thank You, Lord. Amen.”
Photo Credit: © Getty Images/Ridofranz
Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.
Related Resource: The Five Languages of Apology, with Dr. Gary Chapman
In this insightful episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Dr. Gary Chapman, renowned author of The Five Love Languages and The Five Languages of Apology. Together, they explore how understanding both love and apology languages can radically improve relationships. Dr. Chapman unpacks the five core ways people express and receive love—and explains how offering sincere, well-matched apologies can be just as vital to healing and connection. The conversation highlights the power of empathy, emotional communication, and forgiveness in maintaining strong, healthy relationships. Whether you're married, dating, or simply want to love others well, this episode offers powerful tools to deepen your relational bonds. Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
