To Submit or Not to Submit—That Is the Question - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - January 16
Crosswalk Couples Devotional
Audio By Carbonatix
By Alicia Searl, Crosswalk.com
To Submit or Not to Submit—That Is the Question
By: Alicia Searl
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
Submission. A word of great debate, especially among Christian circles. It’s as if the word has taken on a negative connotation, quickly becoming referenced or slung around, usually causing a rift or divide and sadly targeting faithful marriages.
So, it may be wise to ask—what is submission? Better yet, what does the Bible say about this notorious word and how does our God define it?
Before we dig into an actual definition, let’s address one concept first. Why do we, as a society, find it so hard to submit? Why does the very thought of having to submit to another cause shivers down our spine or strikes a nerve, causing immediate tension?
The answer to this is wrapped up in another word—control. We don’t like to submit because we don’t like to be controlled. In other words, we generally don’t like when someone tells us what to do. In other words, we like the freedom to be able to live our lives how we choose.
But friend, here within lies the problem. Where our current culture is all about living for self, being a believer is all about willingly coming under the authority of God. We are called to submit to Christ (James 4:7). When we said yes to our faith, we also said yes to allowing God to move in our lives as we are continually being transformed into a great version of ourselves. In other words, we are given a new heart that longs to become more and more like Jesus.
The way our God views submission is through a heart of love. Just like any loving parent who chooses to lay down their life for the sake of their children, sacrificing so much so that their children can truly live. This is what God does (and did) for us; He surrendered all.
Submission isn’t about control; it’s about love. Our submission is an act of obedience due to God’s great love for us. So, when we surrender our lives to Him, listening and obeying His instruction, we gain an abundant life filled with purpose and meaning.
So, how does this play out in a marriage?
This loving submission is weaved throughout God’s Word, beginning in Genesis and appearing multiple times in the New Testament. This concept is obviously very important to God. He wants us to understand the nature of submission and why we are ALL called to submit.
In Genesis, we see that God loved both His son and daughter, so much so that He created them out of His very own flesh. While God breathed life into man first, He chose to give man a woman as a precious gift so that they could do this life together (Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:18). This first man and woman were equally loved and so very special to God, but when these two became one flesh, they quickly became the target of the enemy.
Unfortunately, the schemes of the deceiver are still alive and well today. He is still tricking us into thinking that marriage is about control or power. Sadly, these views have been intertwined with destructive and abusive behavior, causing so many unions to crumble under the weight of lies, hurt, and pain. Friend, let me be very clear here. Satan has been attacking the sanctity of marriage from the very beginning!
This is why it is so important to understand how God sees marriage and know that His plan and purpose for marriage don’t fit anywhere in the worldly narrative. God calls for both the husband and the wife to submit to His authority (Ephesians 5:21). The truth is that when each submits their lives to God, they begin to recognize their valuable and purposeful part in their union.
Men are to love and cherish their wives. They are to lead and protect their wives and families, furthermore, seeing it as a great honor to do so (Ephesians 5:25-27). Wives are to come alongside their husbands and support their role as leaders, being their companions. She is to honor and respect her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24, Titus 2:5, Proverbs 31:12).
Yet, in a society that abuses these truths and distorts words, taking them out of context, God makes it very clear here as He calls both husbands and wives to submit to Him but serve one another. Men serve their wife by loving and leaning them in gentleness, where women serve their husbands by respecting his leadership and being his helper. As faithful believers, let’s choose to see the word submission in a brand-new light. Let’s see it as an opportunity to show humble obedience to our God and honor our marriage.
Father, we thank you for the precious gift You give us in a marriage. Please help us see this sacred union as You do, and give us hearts to love and serve one another. Allow us to embrace our purposeful roles and show a very lost and hurting world that marriage can be such a joyful and beautiful relationship when we place You at the center of it and submit to Your will. Amen.
Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy. Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.
Related Resource: The Five Languages of Apology, with Dr. Gary Chapman
In this insightful episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with Dr. Gary Chapman, renowned author of The Five Love Languages and The Five Languages of Apology. Together, they explore how understanding both love and apology languages can radically improve relationships. Dr. Chapman unpacks the five core ways people express and receive love—and explains how offering sincere, well-matched apologies can be just as vital to healing and connection. The conversation highlights the power of empathy, emotional communication, and forgiveness in maintaining strong, healthy relationships. Whether you're married, dating, or simply want to love others well, this episode offers powerful tools to deepen your relational bonds. Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
