Favoritism in relationships is folly. 

We see this throughout the story of God’s people in the Old Testament, but it is perhaps writ largest in the life of Joseph, for he was the object of his father Jacob’s special interest. Joseph “was the son of [Jacob’s] old age” and of his great lifetime love, Rachel. So Jacob, whom God had renamed Israel, loved this son more than the others. From this root of partiality sprang much bad fruit in this family. 

Jacob expressed his favoritism through a gift, a “robe of many colors” which he himself had made. It was clearly a token of favoritism—one that Joseph obviously enjoyed wearing. This controversial coat provoked intense hostility from Joseph’s brothers. From their hostility sprang malice and murderous intent. They eventually went as far as selling their own brother into slavery and faking his death.

If the gift of a coat could incite such a response, then surely the problem was far greater than the coat itself. There must have been deep-seated sin behind the scenes. And that’s exactly what we find with Joseph’s brothers. Their issue was not so much that the coat was very valuable; it was that it set Joseph in a different class from them. In giving him this gift, Jacob had elevated Joseph above his siblings, and this gnawed away at them. The choice of a favorite always necessitates the implicit choice of a non-favorite, which is a trigger for both arrogance and pride in the one chosen as the favorite and for resentment and bitterness in those who are not. You may have seen around you, or even in your own life, the corrosive effects of either being a favorite or being passed over for that status.

Jacob should have known better for he himself had been the object of undue favoritism—his own mother had preferred him over his brother, Esau, and it had led to chaos. His relationship with Esau, like Joseph’s with his brothers, was damaged for years.

Let us not be too quick, though, to distance ourselves from the mindset and actions of Jacob or of his sons, as if we could never be guilty of something similar. We must all beware the folly of favoritism in relationships and the fury which so often accompanies it. Partiality is a common and understandable error, but it casts deep, dark, destructive shadows. 

Rather than simply shake our heads at Jacob’s foolishness, let’s learn from it. Every relationship is a unique gift from God. To the degree that we show favoritism to those around us, for whatever reason it might be, we can be assured that it will fracture and devastate relationships. If, however, we cherish each friend, family member, and neighbor with obvious love and affection, we honor God and encourage the hearts of those He has placed around us.

Favoritism in relationships is folly. 

We see this throughout the story of God’s people in the Old Testament, but it is perhaps writ largest in the life of Joseph, for he was the object of his father Jacob’s special interest. Joseph “was the son of [Jacob’s] old age” and of his great lifetime love, Rachel. So Jacob, whom God had renamed Israel, loved this son more than the others. From this root of partiality sprang much bad fruit in this family. 

Jacob expressed his favoritism through a gift, a “robe of many colors” which he himself had made. It was clearly a token of favoritism—one that Joseph obviously enjoyed wearing. This controversial coat provoked intense hostility from Joseph’s brothers. From their hostility sprang malice and murderous intent. They eventually went as far as selling their own brother into slavery and faking his death.

If the gift of a coat could incite such a response, then surely the problem was far greater than the coat itself. There must have been deep-seated sin behind the scenes. And that’s exactly what we find with Joseph’s brothers. Their issue was not so much that the coat was very valuable; it was that it set Joseph in a different class from them. In giving him this gift, Jacob had elevated Joseph above his siblings, and this gnawed away at them. The choice of a favorite always necessitates the implicit choice of a non-favorite, which is a trigger for both arrogance and pride in the one chosen as the favorite and for resentment and bitterness in those who are not. You may have seen around you, or even in your own life, the corrosive effects of either being a favorite or being passed over for that status.

Jacob should have known better for he himself had been the object of undue favoritism—his own mother had preferred him over his brother, Esau, and it had led to chaos. His relationship with Esau, like Joseph’s with his brothers, was damaged for years.

Let us not be too quick, though, to distance ourselves from the mindset and actions of Jacob or of his sons, as if we could never be guilty of something similar. We must all beware the folly of favoritism in relationships and the fury which so often accompanies it. Partiality is a common and understandable error, but it casts deep, dark, destructive shadows. 

Rather than simply shake our heads at Jacob’s foolishness, let’s learn from it. Every relationship is a unique gift from God. To the degree that we show favoritism to those around us, for whatever reason it might be, we can be assured that it will fracture and devastate relationships. If, however, we cherish each friend, family member, and neighbor with obvious love and affection, we honor God and encourage the hearts of those He has placed around us.