3 Keys to Helping Your Spouse Struggling with Substance Abuse
Marriage
Audio By Carbonatix
5:00 AM on Monday, March 30
By Vivian Bricker, Marriage
Substance abuse is a chronic problem, and it has only grown worse with time. According to the American Addiction Centers, 36.8 million adults over the age of 26 struggle with substance abuse. If your spouse is struggling with substance abuse today, know they are not alone. It has become more common within the past few years for people to struggle with addiction. All of your pain and heartache over your spouse is valid, but do not lose hope.
With God, there is always hope (Psalm 62:5-6). You are very brave and compassionate for staying with your spouse as they are struggling with substance abuse. Substance abuse has a way of changing people and can turn them into someone they are not. If your spouse has been mean to you or said hurtful things, know that most of the time this is their addiction, not necessarily them.
If you ever feel in danger, you need to seek out help. Leave if you need to and stay with trusted family or friends. Sadly, addictions can cause people to do rash things. Whenever you feel your safety is in jeopardy, you need to leave. There is no shame in preserving your own well-being and safety. God wants you to keep yourself safe and if this means removing yourself from the situation, then this is what must be done.
Praying for Your Spouse
One of the best things you can do for your spouse struggling with substance abuse is to pray for them. Do not overlook prayer or believe it is not beneficial to the situation at hand. Satan wants to make us believe the lie that our prayers amount to nothing, but this is not true. The devil is the father of lies and we don’t need to listen to him (John 8:44).
Instead, we need to listen to God. Our prayers are heard by God and not one is missed by Him (1 John 5:14-15). Offer up prayers to God today and ask Him to help your spouse. We never need to doubt God. He can do far greater things than we could ever imagine. There are great things God can do for our spouse, yet it starts with turning to Him in prayer.
Pray for God to help your spouse see the severity of their addiction and how it is negatively impacting their life, including their walk with Him and their marriage with you. It will be a hard prayer to pray, yet the Lord will strengthen you. It is okay if you cry or feel sorrowful as you are praying. When we say these struggles out loud, it can make them become real to us. Trust God with these feelings and rest in the fact that He appreciates your sincere heart.
In addition to praying for your spouse, ask God to give you comfort. God sees your pain and He will cover you with comfort. The Bible tells us, “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy” (Psalm 94:19). Just as God brought the psalmist comfort, He will bring you comfort, consolation, and joy.
This is a difficult season for your marriage; however, never believe the lie that you are alone. God is sitting with you in this pain, and He will surround you with His love. Give these hard feelings over to God and allow Him to give your heart lasting peace. God is the God of peace and He will bring your heart comfort (1 Corinthians 14:33).
Getting Them Professional Help & Encouraging Recovery
After you pray for your spouse, you also need to try to get them professional help. This can be done through the help of doctors and addiction specialists. There are many recovery programs and centers, who will help your spouse. You cannot force them into recovery, but with time and prayer, your spouse will be convicted of their addiction. Therefore, even if they don’t want to enter recovery right away, keep praying for them and they will be shown the light.
Once they are ready to seek out help, be there for them. Go to doctors appointments with them and any therapy sessions. The road to recovery will be hard, but it is not impossible. Your spouse may go through withdrawals; however, as long as they are in a controlled center, such as an addiction recovery center or a hospital, they will be okay. This is why it is important to encourage recovery and admittance into a recovery center.
If your spouse truly wants to get better from their addiction, they will take the proper steps. By truly trying and having help from the Lord, they can overcome their addiction. Be a source of support and encouragement to them. Moreover, it is important to remember that you might be the reason they want to recover. Once they understand the strain their addiction has placed on their marriage, they will be more willing to give up their substance abuse.
They will be willing to give up their substance abuse because they know they might lose you. Many spouses leave after their spouse starts struggling with substance abuse and this should not be downplayed nor demonized. Addiction is a terrible thing and it can cause a person to end up alone in life. The more your spouse becomes aware of this truth, they will be more willing to enter recovery for their addiction.
Moving Forward in Your Marriage
Recovery from addiction does not have a timeline. It could be years before your spouse is freed from their addiction. For many people, it might never happen, but they can get to the point of managing their addiction through the help of God, doctors, therapists, and addiction specialists. As you are standing beside your spouse in this hard time, be proud of them for turning away from their addiction and trying their best.
Addiction is not easy to overcome, and it is a major plus that they chose recovery. Many individuals struggling with substance abuse never choose recovery. Praise the Lord that your spouse chose recovery and has stayed with it. However, this doesn’t change the fact that you were hurt in the past and are uncertain about the future. Marriage might be difficult at times due to your spouse’s past substance disorder but choose not to associate them with their past addiction.
If your spouse has made a full recovery from their addiction, they will be back to the person you originally met all those years ago. Refrain from talking about the past or any mistakes they made while they were active in their addiction. Choose to move forward. This can be done through the help of God and forgiveness on your part. Some days might be harder than others, but you can be strong because of God.
Your spouse loves you even though they have struggled with substance abuse. Struggling with an addiction is not the deciding factor of whether a person loves their spouse or not. Taking up addictions can be due to many things, including depression, pain, or a way to drown out their feelings. Extend Jesus’ love to your spouse and live a life of freedom moving forward. Cultivate your marriage, consider marriage counseling, and ensure your spouse follows up with any doctor appointments.
With time, your marriage can be repaired from your spouse’s addiction. Trust in the Lord and do all you can to ensure your spouse knows they are loved. If they are ever tempted to turn back to their addiction, help them to remember the reasons they chose recovery in the first place. This can help preserve your spouse’s recovery and your marriage. Keep walking with the Lord and place your spouse’s recovery in His hands.
Vivian Bricker obtained a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry, followed by a Master of Arts with an emphasis in theology. She loves all things theology, mission work, and helping others learn about Jesus. Find more of her content at Cultivate.
