Romance scams: Hearts broken, wallets emptied
Lifestyle
Audio By Carbonatix
8:45 AM on Friday, June 20
By Evan Ullman for Spokeo, Stacker
Romance scams: Hearts broken, wallets emptied
Romance scams are emotional cons disguised as love stories. Scammers build fake online relationships to manipulate people into sending money, gifts, or sensitive information. These schemes don't just break hearts; they drain bank accounts.
And they're more common than you might think. In 2023 alone, the Federal Trade Commission reported that Americans lost an estimated $1.14 billion to romance scams, which shows how widespread and damaging these cons have become. To help make sense of this growing threat, Spokeo analyzed public data to highlight who's being targeted, how the scams unfold, and how people can protect themselves.
Pop culture has helped shine a light on the issue, too. Netflix's “Tinder Swindler” turned one con artist's playbook into a viral warning. But for every high-profile case, thousands of everyday people get duped in quieter ways, and the emotional toll is just as real as the financial loss. Victims often feel embarrassed, heartbroken, and isolated. These scams leave lasting scars that go beyond money.
Anyone can be a target. Romance scams prey on people looking for love or companionship, especially those who are lonely, grieving, or trusting by nature. With scammers growing more skilled at faking affection and urgency, it's easier than ever to fall for a lie wrapped in charm. Learning how these scams actually play out can make a big difference. It's one of the simplest ways to help yourself and others avoid getting pulled in.
The growing epidemic: By the numbers
Online fraud tied to fake romantic relationships is growing fast, and the numbers prove it.
In 2024, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center received 17,910 romance scam complaints, totaling a staggering $672 million in reported losses. That's up from the $600 million reported in 2020, showing a steady rise over just a few years.
The Federal Trade Commission paints an even more alarming picture. In 2022, it received nearly 70,000 reports of romance scams, with estimated losses of $1.3 billion. Many cases go unreported, meaning the real total may be even higher.
One key trend fueling this growth is cryptocurrency. More victims are sending crypto instead of cash, wire transfers, or gift cards. Crypto is fast, harder to trace, and gives scammers a new layer of cover. In fact, crypto payments accounted for the highest reported median losses among payment types, according to the FTC.
These scams aren't just increasing in number. They're also getting smarter, faster, and more financially devastating. Behind every statistic is a person who thought they were helping someone they loved. Instead, they were funding a lie.
Anatomy of a romance scam
Every romance scam starts with an online profile, and it's almost always inauthentic. Scammers usually steal photos, create fake bios, and build believable personas designed to reel in vulnerable targets. They're not shooting in the dark, either. Scammers know exactly where to look.
According to the FTC in 2022, 40% of romance scams started on social media, while 19% began on dating apps. These platforms offer easy access to people seeking connection, which makes them a scammer's dream.
Once contact is made, the grooming begins. Scammers move quickly to build emotional trust. They often “love bomb” their victims, sending constant compliments, long messages, and over-the-top declarations of affection. Within days or weeks, they act as if it's a serious relationship.
Then comes the shift. Scammers try to move the conversation to private apps like WhatsApp or Telegram. These platforms offer more privacy and fewer moderation tools, making it easier to manipulate victims without being detected or banned.
By the time the scammer asks for help, usually money, it feels personal. Victims don't see a red flag. Instead, they see a partner in crisis. The scam works because the emotional hook is already set, and the trust has already been built.
Common types and tactics
Romance scammers don't rely on creativity. They tend to stick to cover stories that work. According to the FTC, one of the top lies scammers tell is that they're in the military or working overseas. These stories explain why they can't meet in person and often justify sudden emergencies that require financial help.
Another growing tactic is “pig butchering.” It's a crypto-based scam where scammers build a fake romantic relationship, then convince victims to invest in phony cryptocurrency platforms. Victims often lose thousands before realizing the entire investment is fake.
Scammers also love emergencies. They might claim a sick or injured relative, a legal issue, or a medical crisis. The FTC found that about 25% of reported romance scams in 2022 included one of these dramatic pleas. The goal is simple: tug at the heart, empty the wallet.
There's also a sharp rise in sextortion. These are scams where someone threatens to share explicit images of you unless you pay them. Sextortion increased eightfold in the three years leading up to 2022. Victims are often pressured into sending images early in the fake relationship, only to be blackmailed later.
Other schemes include gold courier requests and fake business opportunities. No matter the method, the formula is the same: build trust, trigger panic, then cash in.
The psychology: Why people fall victim
Emotional manipulation, not just technology, is what makes these scams so effective. Scammers are experts at identifying and exploiting emotional vulnerability. People who feel lonely, isolated, or hopeful for connection are easier to reach and easier to convince.
The COVID-19 pandemic made things worse. Isolation surged, online communication became the norm, and emotional support was harder to find in real life. That shift created a perfect storm for scammers. More people were looking for connections online, and more were willing to believe in fast-moving relationships.
It's not just emotion at play. Scammers exploit cognitive biases like confirmation bias (seeing only what fits the belief that this person is real) and commitment bias (the more someone invests emotionally or financially, the harder it is to back out). Once victims feel emotionally tied to someone, even red flags can be brushed aside.
As one cybersecurity expert told CNBC, “...people behind these types of scams could teach a master class in human behavior.” They use charm, urgency, and psychological pressure to manipulate people into acting against their best interests.
The truth is, anyone can fall for a romance scam because it's not about intelligence. It all comes down to timing, emotion, and trust.
Demographics: Who is most at risk?
Not everyone is equally likely to fall for a fake romance. Age, gender, and life circumstances can all increase someone's chances of becoming a target, and the data makes that clear.
According to the FBI, adults over 60 lost $389 million to romance scams in 2024. Older individuals often have retirement savings, may be more trusting, and might not be as familiar with online deception. But young adults face their own threats. The FTC says those aged 18 to 29 are six times more likely than people over 30 to become victims of sextortion, a growing form of blackmail involving intimate images.
Men also make up the majority of reported victims. In fact, 73% of romance scam losses come from men, a surprising twist in a space often assumed to primarily affect women. Risk increases even more for people who are widowed, divorced, or socially isolated. These individuals may feel especially vulnerable or eager to connect, making them easier to manipulate.
Knowing who is most at risk can help individuals and families recognize early warning signs and stay alert.
Red flags and warning signs
Some warning signs are easy to miss, especially when emotions are involved. However, certain behaviors appear repeatedly in reported scams.
It often starts with a profile that seems perfect. The person is attractive, successful, and eager to connect. But if it feels too good to be true, it probably is. Scammers often use stolen photos and polished personas to lure in their targets.
As the relationship develops, they may refuse to meet in person or make excuses to avoid video calls. A favorite line: they're traveling, deployed, or working overseas. Rapid emotional escalation is another red flag. Scammers push for intense romantic talk early, sometimes within days. Then come the requests for help.
Watch for these signs:
- Too-good-to-be-true profiles. Scammers often use professional photos and polished bios to attract their victims.
- Refusal to meet or video chat. They rely on distance and excuses to stay hidden.
- Inconsistent or vague stories. Details change or don't add up.
- Early declarations of love. They move fast to build trust.
- Requests for money. Especially for emergencies, business deals, or crypto investments.
Spotting even one of these signs is a good reason to slow down and ask questions.
Protection strategies
Staying safe from romance scams starts with taking a beat and staying skeptical. A few simple habits can make a huge difference.
First, verify who you're talking to. Do a reverse image search on their profile photo. If it appears on multiple sites with different names, it's likely stolen. You can also run a basic background check or look up details like where they purport to work or have worked and social media activity to spot inconsistencies.
Stick to safe online dating practices. Never send money to someone you haven't met in person. Be especially wary if they ask for cryptocurrency, wire transfers, or gift cards. These are favorites because they're hard to trace and nearly impossible to recover.
Before getting emotionally or financially involved, talk to someone you trust. A close friend or family member can offer perspective and point out red flags you might miss. Scammers often isolate victims — don't let them.
Protect your privacy online. Avoid sharing intimate images or financial information. Use strong passwords and adjust privacy settings on your social media accounts. If a profile seems suspicious, check for it on romance scam watchlists or report it to the FTC. The more informed and aware you are, the harder it becomes for scammers to succeed.
If you've been scammed: Next steps
Getting scammed can feel overwhelming, but you're not alone. There are steps you can take right away to limit the damage.
Start by cutting off contact. Block the scammer on all platforms — messaging apps, social media, email, and phone. Don't respond, even if they apologize or threaten you.
Then, report what happened. File a complaint with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center, and notify the Federal Trade Commission. If money was transferred, contact your bank, credit card company, or the platform you used. Some may be able to reverse payments or investigate fraud claims. If you sent cryptocurrency, notify the exchange immediately. While recovery isn't guaranteed, acting fast improves your chances.
Victims of romance scams also need emotional support. The shame and heartbreak are real. Reach out to trusted friends or family, or consider talking to a therapist. You can also connect with support groups online. Many people have been through this and are willing to help others heal.
Finally, take steps to protect yourself in the future. Change passwords, monitor your accounts, and think twice before sharing personal details online.
Staying smart in the search for love
Romance scammers don't need much to start. A fake profile, a decent story, and a bit of charm can go a long way. But the impact is anything but small, and these scams are getting sharper, faster, and harder to spot. What helps is taking your time. Ask follow-up questions. Pay attention when someone seems overly polished or moves things forward too fast. If they keep dodging face-to-face conversations, it's worth reconsidering the connection.
When money enters the conversation, even if the reason sounds convincing, stop and talk to someone you trust. Get another opinion. Doing so isn't rude — it's smart. Open conversations matter. When people talk about what happened to them, it helps others stay alert. It also makes the tricks easier to recognize.
Love should be honest and secure. Being careful doesn't mean closing yourself off. It means being ready to spot the difference between something real and something designed to take advantage of your trust.
This story was produced by Spokeo and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.
