7 Ways to Keep the Romance Alive in Your Marriage
Marriage
Audio By Carbonatix
3:00 AM on Tuesday, March 3
By Whitney Hopler, Marriage
2. Prioritize Quality Time Together
In this busy world, you all can easily be pulled apart if you're not intentional about spending quality time together regularly. Quality time allows you to connect, communicate, and simply enjoy each other's company. This could be a weekly date night, a walk together, or even setting aside time for an activity you both enjoy. Prioritizing this time shows your commitment to your marriage helps you keep your bond strong despite life's demands on both of you.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 teaches: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Devoting quality time to your spouse is an important choice because it's a way to pay attention to each other, as God wants you both to do. Mark 6:31 highlights Jesus' call to step away from the busyness of life to rest and reconnect: "Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, 'Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'"
Set aside undistracted time to nurture your relationship by noticing God's presence with you both. The more time you and your spouse spend intentionally focusing on God—the source of all love—the more God's love will flow between you. Love is much more than a feeling; it's an action that you need to intentionally choose on a regular basis. When you choose to act in love toward each other, loving feelings will follow.
3. Communicate Loving Words to Each Other
Words have incredible power in a marriage. Affirming your spouse with kind and encouraging words builds your spouse's confidence and reinforces your bond with him or her – both of which are important to keeping romance alive in your relationship. You can compliment each other, encourage each other, and express gratitude to each other on a regular basis. Doing so can reignite romance between you. Proverbs 16:24 points out: "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." This verse emphasizes the power of kind and encouraging words to make healing and connection happen.
In contrast, speaking negative words, such as words that focus on each other's faults or angry words about frustrations in your marriage, can harm the love and respect between you, which is essential to keeping romance alive in your marriage. Ephesians 4:29 urges you: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." So, focus only on saying what is really helpful in your marriage–especially words that show your spouse what you appreciate about them. Make it a habit to regularly express your appreciation. Share how your spouse's love and actions bless your life. Write your spouse love notes, send encouraging texts, or simply say "I love you" with sincerity often. That will make your spouse feel special, which will light the fire of romance in your marriage.
4. Practice Acts of Service
Actions often speak louder than words. Simple acts of service such as cooking dinner, helping with chores, or running errands for your spouse show your love in tangible ways. Acts of service show that you care about your spouse's needs and are willing to serve him or her selflessly. Taking the initiative to ease your spouse's burdens powerfully shows your commitment and affection. Philippians 2:3 encourages you to: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." When you serve your spouse, you love your spouse sacrificially, as Jesus loves you. Galatians 5:13 urges: "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."
So, make an effort to notice the tasks or responsibilities that weigh on your spouse and find ways to lighten the load. You can surprise your spouse with breakfast in bed, take over a chore your spouse dislikes, or run an errand for your spouse when he or she is especially busy. Intentional acts of kindness like these will remind your spouse that you cherish them, and build a strong connection between you that keeps romance alive in your marriage.
5. Keep Physical Touch in Your Marriage
Physical touch is a vitally important part of keeping romance alive in your marriage. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, and other forms of affection help maintain the physical and emotional connection between you and your spouse that you all need to enjoy fulfilling sex together. Physical touch can communicate love in ways that words and other actions can't. The poetic imagery in Song of Solomon 1:2 reminds you of the joy of physical touch: "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine." God designed marriage to include physical intimacy as a celebration of the unique and sacred connection between husband and wife. Genesis 2:24 says: "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Physical touch is a God-designed expression of the "one flesh" union that's unique to marriage. So, find ways to touch each other with love every day. Give each other a quick kiss before work, sit close while watching a movie, or simply hold hands during a walk. Affectionate touch can lead to romantic sex, which is a vital part of a romantic marriage.
6. Forgive Quickly and Completely
Every marriage encounters disagreements and challenges. Don't hold onto resentment when you and your spouse experience conflict or crises since that blocks romance in your marriage. Instead, follow the Bible's advice in Colossians 3:13: "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Forgiveness is important to maintaining a healthy and romantic relationship. By forgiving your spouse when they make mistakes, you model God's grace and create an environment where love can flourish between. Without forgiveness, unresolved pain can create distance and erode trust between you. No one is perfect. Let your gratitude for how God forgives you for your mistakes inspire you to forgive your spouse for his or her mistakes. Just as God gives you grace and mercy, God wants you to give grace and mercy to each other. Forgiveness is not about excusing wrong behavior but about releasing bitterness and choosing love – which will lead to more romance in your marriage. Proverbs 17:9 beautifully illustrates the importance of forgiveness: "Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends." This verse highlights that forgiveness nurtures loving unity, while holding onto grudges or bringing up past offenses can drive a wedge between spouses. By forgiving quickly and completely, you create a healthy marriage where you both are inspired to be romantic with each other.
7. Celebrate Each Other
Take time on a regular basis to celebrate your spouse and your marriage. Show each other that you appreciate each other's achievements—both big and small. Celebrations don't have to be extravagant. You can just do something simple like writing a heartfelt note or cooking a favorite meal to show your spouse how much he or she means to you. Consistently celebrating each other creates a culture of joy in your relationship–and that will lead to more romance in your marriage. Romans 12:15 encourages you to: "Rejoice with those who rejoice." Celebrating your spouse shows that you're proud of their successes and value his or her role in your life. Psalm 118:24 reminds you to celebrate every day God has given you and your spouse to enjoy together: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Celebrating each other reminds you of the blessings you've shared. It strengthens your appreciation for one another, which will help keep romance alive in your relationship.
Pursuing God's wonder together can give you even more to celebrate together. Explore nature together–watch a sunrise, walk along a beach, hike through a forest, stargaze, and more – since you can experience wonder there. Do other awe-inspiring activities together, as well, such as immersing yourselves in beautiful music at a live concert. These experiences can help you celebrate each day God gives you to the fullest, which will keep romance alive in your marriage.
In conclusion, romance is a gift from God that you and your spouse must pay attention to on a regular basis to keep it alive in your marriage. Through prayer, quality time together, loving words, acts of service, physical touch, forgiveness, and celebrating each other, you can enjoy a romantic marriage every day!
