7 Christian Tips for Keeping Passion Alive in Your Marriage
Marriage
Audio By Carbonatix
5:00 AM on Monday, October 27
By Whitney Hopler, Marriage
1. Prioritize God in your marriage.
Make God the foundation of your marriage. When you both focus on God together, you’ll grow closer to each other as God’s love flows through your lives. Jesus advises in Matthew 6:33: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” As Jesus points out, seeking God comes first, and everything else you need in life follows that.
When you and your spouse prioritize spiritual growth, you set a solid foundation for your marital relationship. Make time in your busy schedules for you and your spouse to develop prayer and meditation habits you enjoy. Include some time to pray together regularly, in addition to the time you spend in prayer individually. This not only strengthens your relationship with God, but also creates a deeper emotional connection between you and your spouse. Study the Bible together and discuss how its teachings can be applied to your marriage. Attend church regularly and enjoy relationships with other Christian couples who can support and encourage you.
When you face hard times, trust in God to help you deal with those challenges together. Keep in mind what Proverbs 3:5-6 urges you to do: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” When both you and your spouse are spiritually nourished by prioritizing God in your marriage, your capacity to love, forgive, and support each other expands. That will keep your marital bond strong and passionate.
2. Communicate openly and honestly.
Effective communication is vital for maintaining passion in your marriage. In Ephesians 4:25, the Bible emphasizes the importance of open, honest communication: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” Communicating the truth in love helps to build trust and understanding, which are crucial for a passionate relationship. James 1:19 advises: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Practicing these principles fosters a respectful and loving atmosphere where both you and your spouse feel heard and valued. Set aside regular time to talk with your spouse without distractions. Discuss not only the practical details of your lives (like your work, parenting, chores, and errands) but also your emotions, goals, and how you each have noticed God at work in your lives lately. Be a good listener and show empathy for your spouse. Acknowledge your spouse’s perspectives, even if they differ from your own. Avoid criticism, defensiveness, and contempt in your conversations. Instead, practice kindness, patience, and respect. When disagreements arise, approach them with a spirit of reconciliation and seek solutions that honor both of you. Remember, the goal is not to win an argument, but to strengthen your marriage.
3. Pursue awe-inspiring adventures together.
Shared adventures that inspire you both with awe can reignite the spark in your marriage. Psalm 65:8 says about God: “The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.” By exploring together, you and your spouse can discover God’s wonder everywhere. Pursuing awe-inspiring adventures together can create lasting memories that deepen your connection. Plan trips or activities that both of you find exciting and fulfilling. Whether it’s exploring a new city, hiking in the mountains, or learning something new in a class together, these experiences can rekindle passion between you. Enjoying some time in nature around your home regularly can help you keep a sense of adventure between the times you can schedule outings or trips.
Psalm 19:1 encourages you to enjoy the awe-inspiring beauty of nature: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” Engage in spontaneous activities that break your daily routines. Surprise your spouse with a weekend getaway or a day trip to a nearby attraction when possible. These shared adventures help to build a reservoir of positive memories that can strengthen your bond during challenging times. Remember to capture these moments with photos or a journal. Reflecting on your adventures together can remind you of the joy and excitement you share, reinforcing your commitment to each other and to keeping the passion alive in your marriage.
The thrill of adventure and the joy of discovery can lead you to awe, which enlarges your perspective, so you can look beyond your circumstances to God. That will help you both feel passionate about the love God has given you for each other.
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4. Renew your emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy between you and your spouse is vital to keep passion alive in your relationship. Romans 12:15 encourages you to bear each other’s burdens and share in each other’s joys: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” By renewing your emotional intimacy, you can deepen your connection and keep the spark alive. Remember the reality that 1 Peter 4:8 points out: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
Deep, selfless love builds a foundation of trust and closeness that fuels emotional intimacy. Make time for meaningful conversations where you and your spouse can share your innermost thoughts and feelings. Be vulnerable with each other and build a safe space where both of you feel accepted and loved. Express appreciation for each other regularly. Simple acts of kindness and verbal affirmations can go a long way in making your spouse feel valued. Also, engage in fun activities that promote emotional bonding. Whether it’s cooking a special meal together, taking a quiet evening walk, or going on a weekend trip together, make time regularly for activities that strengthen your emotional connection. A strong emotional bond lays the groundwork for a passionate and enduring relationship.
5. Renew your physical intimacy.
Physical intimacy is an essential aspect of a passionate marriage. In Song of Solomon 1:2, the Bible celebrates the physical union of husband and wife: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth – for your love is more delightful than wine.” Investing time and effort into maintaining physical intimacy – from caring hugs to satisfying sex – helps keep the passion alive in your marriage. Make physical affection a regular part of your daily routine. Hold hands, hug, kiss, and cuddle. These small gestures of love can significantly enhance your connection. Renew the energy in your sexual relationship, as well.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 that it’s important to have sex regularly to protect you both from the vulnerability to sin that can come from feeling sexually deprived: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Don’t give your sexual energy to anything or anyone outside your marriage – from pornography to affairs. Prioritize your sexual relationship and communicate openly about your desires and needs. Be attentive to each other’s cues and strive to be a generous and considerate partner. Create a romantic atmosphere in your home. Plan date nights and surprise each other with thoughtful gestures. Taking care of your physical health and well-being also contributes to a fulfilling physical relationship. Remember, physical intimacy is not just about sex; it’s about expressing love and affection in ways that strengthen your marital bond.
Photo Credit: Annette Sousa HW/Unsplash
6. Serve selflessly.
Service is a powerful expression of love. It can significantly enhance the passion in your marriage. Jesus taught us to serve one another in love: “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). Serving your spouse selflessly can strengthen your bond and deepen your love. Galatians 5:13 points out: “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”
By serving each other with humility and love, you create a supportive and nurturing environment in your marriage. Look for ways to serve your spouse daily. It can be as simple as preparing his or her favorite meal, taking on household chores your spouse usually handles, or listening with compassion after a long day. Intentional acts of kindness demonstrate your love and commitment, making your spouse feel cherished and appreciated. Also, encourage and support your spouse’s dreams and goals. Celebrate his or her achievements and be a cheerleader for your spouse from day to day.
When you both are committed to serving each other, your marriage will become a partnership of mutual support and love. Serving together can be a powerful bonding experience. Volunteer together at your church or in your community, working on causes about which you are both passionate. Working side by side in service to others can bring a new dimension to your relationship, enhancing the passion and unity between you.
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7. Practice forgiveness and extend grace and mercy.
No marriage is without its challenges and conflicts. Ephesians 4:32 mentions how God calls you to forgive as you have been forgiven: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Also, Colossians 3:13 urges: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Practicing forgiveness and extending grace and mercy to each other is essential for maintaining a passionate marriage. When conflicts arise, approach them with a spirit of humility and a desire for reconciliation. Acknowledge your mistakes and seek forgiveness. Be willing to forgive your spouse and let go of past hurts. Holding on to resentment and bitterness can erode the passion in your relationship. Create a culture of grace in your marriage where both partners feel safe to express their feelings and make mistakes. Encourage each other to grow and learn from the challenges you face. Reflect regularly on the positive aspects of your spouse and your relationship. Express appreciation for each other’s loving words and actions. Celebrate the love between you regularly.
In conclusion, keeping passion alive in your marriage is a constant journey that requires intentional effort and reliance on God’s guidance. By working every day to renew the passion between you and your spouse, you can enjoy a passionate marriage in any circumstances. Marriage is a reflection of God’s love. The more you and your spouse rely on God’s love together, the more you both can ignite the spark of passion in your relationship. The key is to remember to stay connected to God – the source of all love – so the passion in your marriage will remain alive.
