How to Have a Meaningful Quiet Time Together in Your Marriage
Marriage
Audio By Carbonatix
3:00 AM on Friday, January 30
By Heidi Vegh, Marriage
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7)
What is quiet time? It is a designated time set apart from your busy day to connect with God. It can include many different elements of prayer, reading the Word, scripture meditation, or reading a devotional. It is important to remember that we are not only spending time with God so that He can hear from us but allowing space for stillness to listen to God. This is a huge element of having a relationship with the Lord.
If you are married, it is important to have quiet time alone with God and also to set aside time as a couple to hear from the Lord.
Marriage is hard. Marriage with children, jobs, responsibilities, and all the other things is even harder. Setting aside quiet time together is crucial to secure a solid foundation for our marriage and family. Not just time to be alone but time to pray and read God’s Word.
The enemy will target marriages, having them believe lies that quiet time together is not necessary or that there just isn’t time.
Making quiet time together a priority won’t only strengthen your marriage but also your family. Reading and praying together will soften your hearts toward one another and give you the strength and grace to deal with conflict.
It can be challenging to balance family life and set aside time together, but if you are intentional about it, it is more than possible. Once you start to see the benefits of spending time together in the stillness of the Lord, you will begin to crave this time together and feel the void when you don’t.
Set Aside a Designated Time
This can be the most challenging part. When you have a million other things going on in your home, how can you set aside 15-30 minutes without distraction?
Your family is unique, and there is not a one size fits all solution to this. It may look different from day to day and week to week. Begin praying separately about what God wants this to look like for you in your marriage and family life.
This may mean waking up ten minutes before the chaos begins to hold hands in prayer for the day. It may mean turning off the TV after the kids are asleep and pulling out a Bible reading plan or a study to work through together. We often can find things that we can eliminate in our lives to make space for God.
It may even mean getting a babysitter once a week so you can spend thirty minutes at a local coffee shop going over a book of the Bible.
Whatever time you have available and wherever you can conjure up a bit of time alone, use it wisely. Ask the Lord to bless your time, and He will, no matter when or how it happens. Just start, and God will bless you for that.
Pick Your Resource
Nothing is more frustrating than wanting to study God’s Word but having no idea where to start. Numerous resources are out there to get you started, which can be overwhelming. Even if it is simply reading the Bible through a year or planning what book you will go through, that is a good place to start.
However, do not overwhelm yourselves; you can start with one book of the Bible. You can read several passages together in several different translations to pull out different meanings. Let the Lord lead you in this time; you may find something unique just for the two of you.
MOST IMPORTANT: Don’t forget to PRAY before you begin and ask the Lord to speak to you.
In Hebrews 4:12, we read, “For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”
Although there are valuable resources to help us navigate the Bible and to learn from God, His Word needs to be the foundation of our study.
If you want to jump into a resource, here are a few simple ones to get you started:
You Version APP
Click here.
This Bible app has hundreds of reading plans that you can incorporate into your quiet time. There are plans for marriage, family, parenting, you name it. This is a simple and fun way to get into the Word.
Bible ReCap
Click here.
This is a valuable resource for reading through the entire Bible chronologically. You can read 2-3 chapters daily and then listen to a 5-8 minute podcast explaining what you just read. This will spur much deep conversation and help you both understand the Word of God better.
Daily Grace Co.
Click here.
This is a company that specializes in Biblical study and resources. They have workbooks on many topics that help you navigate through a book of the Bible or a certain topic. They always offer discounts and sales, so this is an easy way to connect in the short time you can be together.
Pray
One of the most valuable ways to spend quiet time together is to pray. Perhaps, keep a prayer journal where you write down everything that needs prayer. You can record how God came through for your family and see God’s faithfulness show up time and time again. This will strengthen your faith and build trust in your spouse.
When you pray, be sure to pray for and thank God for each other. When my husband and I were in premarital counseling, our Pastor suggested that we pray for and thank God for each other every night before we went to sleep. We have held this tradition for over eight years now. Of course, it is not always consistent or perfect, but we have seen God work miracles in our lives because of this prayer time.
When we audibly hear our spouse thank God for us and what we do for the family, it builds trust and confidence in our marriage and our spouse. It brings you closer together as you can tether onto a direct connection to God with your spouse. This truly is what it means to be one flesh, as the Word says.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Again, don’t be overwhelmed by the notion of needing to add one more thing to your already very full plate. God knows where you and your spouse are and exactly what you are capable of. This doesn’t mean He won’t stretch you or ask new things from you, but you can rest assured that God has a specific plan for your marriage and how He wants to enter into your union.
Just simply start by lifting the idea of a quiet time to the Lord and watch Him work powerfully in your marriage.
Heidi Vegh is a writer, speaker, and ministry leader based in Western Washington. A remarried mother of four, she is navigating blended family life after losing her first husband to cancer in 2013. Through her writing and speaking, Heidi encourages those who have experienced loss, offering hope and practical guidance for the journey toward healing and renewed life.
She is the author of The Hard Journey to the Good: A Widow’s Journey from Loss to New Life, a heartfelt account of grief, faith, and rebuilding after devastating loss, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
You can find Heidi at her website mrsheidivegh.com where she shares devotionals and reflections on grief, healing, motherhood, faith, and the beauty and complexity of blended family life through her monthly newsletter. She holds a degree in Creative Writing and English from Southern New Hampshire University and serves as Ministry Director at her local church, where she is passionate about helping women grow in faith and experience the transforming love of Jesus.
You can find her on Instagram @mrsheidivegh and SubStack: https://substack.com/
