7 Signs Your Marriage Needs More Quality Time Together
Marriage
Audio By Carbonatix
3:00 AM on Tuesday, November 18
By Britt Mooney, Marriage
1. Lack of deeper communication
When conversations between spouses become shallow, it’s a clear sign that the marriage requires more quality time. Engaging in meaningful communication maintains a strong emotional connection. When discussions are limited to surface-level topics like daily chores, schedules, or work, it indicates a disconnection in the relationship.
Spending quality time together allows couples to explore and understand each other’s inner worlds. It provides opportunities to discuss personal aspirations, fears, and experiences that shape their lives. Partners may feel misunderstood, unappreciated, isolated, or dissatisfied without this deeper communication.
As a practical step, you should set aside dedicated time for each other without distractions. This can be as simple as having a daily conversation over dinner, walking together, or scheduling regular date nights. Take a moment to check in with each other sincerely in the morning or evening. These moments create a safe space for honest and open dialogue, helping to bridge the gap that shallow conversations create.
The Bible encourages believers to engage in uplifting and constructive communication:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29)
Meaningful conversations nurture and strengthen relationships.
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2. Increased arguments
Increased arguments often signal the need for more quality time together. When couples frequently clash over small issues, it usually indicates underlying stress and disconnection. Despite wanting distance and space when conflict arises, spending quality time together helps address these issues by fostering better understanding and empathy.
Quality time allows couples to reconnect deeper, helping to identify and address their disagreements’ root causes. Instead of reacting impulsively, couples who invest in quality time develop a stronger foundation of trust and mutual respect. This makes it easier to navigate conflicts calmly and constructively. By prioritizing these interactions, couples can create a buffer against stress and misunderstandings that often lead to arguments.
The Bible guides us to maintain harmony in relationships:
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19)
This highlights the importance of patience and understanding, essential for resolving conflicts peacefully.
By dedicating time to each other, couples can practice these principles, improving their ability to listen and empathize. Through these deeper connections, couples realize they’re on the same side, able to work together to solve problems over seeing each other as the issue.
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3. Feeling distant
The problem with survival mode is that couples begin to feel distant and disconnected. God created us in his image for connection. Sometimes, if we’re not careful, we find connections in other places when we should relate to our spouse first. This distance often lacks intimacy, making us feel isolated and unappreciated. Feeling distant warns us of our need for more quality time together.
Spending intentional, quality time together can bridge this emotional gap. Engaging in activities both partners enjoy can rekindle the closeness that might have faded over time. These moments provide opportunities to share feelings, dreams, and concerns, essential for maintaining a strong emotional bond. Quality time involves being present and attentive. Remove distractions such as phones and other electronic devices when you are together. Focus on each other and actively listen. This attentive presence shows you value your partner and are committed to the relationship.
The Bible underscores how important love and closeness are to relationships:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
These qualities foster closeness and connection.
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4. Reduced physical intimacy
One of God’s gifts for marriage is intimacy, which includes the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our being united with our spouse. Reduced physical intimacy clues us into the need for more quality time together. Physical closeness, such as hugging, kissing, and other forms of affection, helps maintain a strong emotional bond. When this aspect wanes, it often reflects underlying issues like stress, fatigue, or emotional disconnection.
To address this, first, couples should kiss and hug every greeting or goodbye, intentionally connecting physically, even if for only a moment. Non-sexual acts of affection do much to help us connect. Next, couples should make time for sex. Many couples resist this, as it seems less romantic. However, we reveal what’s important when we set aside time for it—our job, kids, etc. Similarly, we need to plan for this intimate time and prioritize it. This intentionality can help it be more romantic and creative.
This time should also include open and honest communication about needs and feelings. Discussing what each partner needs to feel loved and connected can help bridge gaps in intimacy.
The Bible emphasizes the importance of love and intimacy in marriage:
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3)
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5. Lack of shared activities
Sometimes, couples forget how much they like and enjoy spending time together. This happens when we let survival mode keep us from shared activities. We know the marriage needs more quality time when we see this lack.
Engaging in activities as a couple creates a sense of teamwork and mutual enjoyment, strengthening the bond between partners. When these shared experiences diminish, both spouses can feel disconnected and isolated. Whether it’s cooking a meal, hiking, or playing a game, these moments of togetherness are crucial for maintaining a strong emotional connection. They provide opportunities for laughter, collaboration, and mutual support, essential for a healthy marriage.
To address this issue, couples should consciously try to identify and pursue activities that both enjoy. Setting aside regular time for these activities can help rekindle the sense of partnership and camaraderie that might have waned over time. It’s important to be intentional about this time, ensuring both partners are fully present and engaged.
The Bible underscores the importance of marital unity and togetherness:
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)
For example, when we first began dating, companionship and mutual support continued through shared activities.
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6. Loneliness despite being together
One result of feeling disconnected and only sharing shallow, obligated conversations is that we feel alone even when living in the same house. Marriage requires more quality time when we feel lonely despite being together. Feeling connected is more than being in the same room. Being physically present without real communication can lead to feelings of isolation.
To combat this, couples must prioritize quality time to foster genuine connection. Instead of merely coexisting in the same space, partners should engage in activities that promote closeness and understanding. This could include having deep conversations about hopes, dreams, and fears, participating in shared hobbies, or simply spending uninterrupted time together without distractions like phones or television. Small gestures, such as expressing appreciation, actively listening, and showing empathy, can enhance feeling valued and understood.
The Bible offers guidance on cultivating love and connection in relationships:
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:14)
God designed love as the unifying force in a relationship. Love demonstrated through intentional quality time and genuine care, can alleviate loneliness and strengthen the bond between spouses.
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7. Feeling a lack of emotional support
Emotional support is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. It provides comfort, understanding, and encouragement during life’s ups and downs. Partners may feel isolated, unappreciated, and disconnected when this support wanes.
To address this, couples should prioritize spending quality time together. This means creating open, honest conversations where both partners feel heard and valued. Creating this shared quality time must be expressed and considered together. We can share our needs and lack of quality time without blaming or accusing others. Learn ways to speak lovingly and affirm the other, believing the best about your spouse while honestly sharing our need for more emotional support.
When one spouse tries to manufacture quality time, the other doesn’t feel included or valued, only controlled. Make these decisions together—what time works best, what activities where both spouses feel included, frequency, and more. Then, both husband and wife feel they own the decision and are partnering in life, which is the goal.
Once you spend quality time together, be intentional about asking questions to find ways to support each other emotionally and practically. Often, simply listening and affirming helps someone feel supported.
The Bible highlights the importance of supporting and loving one another in relationships:
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)
Mutual support and compassion are vital in any relationship, especially in a marriage where God desires us to live as one.
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