5 Important Steps the Church Can Take to Prevent Spiritual Abuse
Pastors
Audio By Carbonatix
8:00 AM on Friday, January 9
By Milton Quintanilla, Pastors
One major reason people leave the church today is because they came from a place of spiritual abuse. Church hurt is a real thing— whether it is dealing with a manipulative leader to toxic members— it is scarring to those hit with the brunt of it.
Examples of Spiritual Abuse
Examples of spiritual abuses come from a variety of forms and are damaging ,overall. For instance, deception in the church from false teachers is abusive in which the Scriptures are distorted or committed and those who embrace it are led astray. Pastors end up abusing their role as shepherds when they are serving the body of Christ for selfish gain. They will manipulate their way into getting and maintaining their followers, berate those who question their teaching and practices, gaslighting to save face, play victim when they are challenged, and guilt-tripping to shun all who don’t follow their narrative. Leaders can also claim divine inspiration as a cop-out for their actions and as their reason to rebuke believers who express their concerns over their leadership.
The Damage Done by Spiritual Abuse
Many who have been damaged by spiritual abuse are left traumatized by how they were treated by their spiritual community. The damage has so greatly been inflicted that some even question their belief in God and no longer consider themselves as Christians. Others may still be part of the faith, except they don’t attend church anymore because they have lost their trust in people, especially church leaders and fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord. That distrust can also be accompanied with resentment over the abuse that took place. Generally speaking, spiritual abuse is undoubtedly damaging as those who faced it are left reeling from the pain that comes with it.
5 Steps to Take to Prevent Spiritual Abuse
After looking at examples and damage done by spiritual abuse, we must ask what are some essential steps that the Body of Christ can take to combat spiritual abuse? The following are steps in dealing with the issue that apply to both leaders and congregants.
Photo Credit: Megan Allen/Unsplash
1. Accountability
Accountability is a clear and essential step made against spiritual abuse. Anyone in a leadership role is open to accountability as they undergo stricter judgement before the Lord (James 3:1). They’re not willing to keep anything in the dark because they have chosen to take responsibility for their actions. They need to maintain that promise to the congregation because that will not only keep them accountable, but it will also build trust with the church. Pastors should be able to care for their congregation in nurturing and maintaining that relationship with them.
Accountability keeps the body of Christ in line in walking before the Lord by honoring Him. This does not mean perfection but rather there is a willingness to take accountability when one falls short. It also keeps one from sinning by remembering that commitment to serve God and one another.
2. Communication
Similarly to accountability, communication between church leaders and congregants is key in fostering a healthy environment against spiritual abuse. You can’t have one without the other because communication and accountability go hand in hand. Communication shows the church that leaders are willing to have open discussion with them. There is not beating around the bush, gaslighting, or sugarcoating anything. But they are willing to tell the truth, because they are to speak the truth in love. Sadly, when pastors are called out for false teaching, they often blame you for being “judgmental” even though all you were doing was expressing your concerns. Situations like this make it difficult to have conversations because it will end up in conflict.
Communication also entails confession. Everyone falls short, including pastors. Confession acknowledges where one has fallen and is willing to own up to it. Think about the scandals that have taken place with prominent church leaders these past several years. For most of them, they pretty much kept their secret sins in the dark until someone exposes them, to which they then wouldn’t have a choice but to confess. Confession brings to light what has been kept hidden in the dark. In order to prevent spiritual abuse, pastors are to maintain a level of transparency with the congregation as it fosters trust. Additionally, church goers must maintain transparency with their leaders and with one another.
3. Encouragement
With communication, one feels safe in their respective spiritual environment. With communication, there is the opportunity for encouragement. Encouragement uplifts the body of Christ, promoting an atmosphere of authenticity. Spiritual abuse is the opposite of encouragement as it tears down rather than builds up. It is discouragement, manipulation, and malalignment. Encouragement in the body of Christ allows for greater connections and fellowship. There is nothing but good that comes from it. If anything, it is contagious because it is sustaining that level of edification. This isn’t nice for the sake of being nice. It is not placing a facade and pretending that everything is cool when difficult situations arise.
In this epistle to the church in Thessalonica, the apostle Paul writes, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing,” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Paul’s admonition to the church is for them to remain in continued encouragement with one another. Elsewhere in Ephesians 4:29, he writes, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” As the body of Christ, we are meant to lift each other up. The moment you remove edification out of the equation, then there is the risk of spiritual abuse that only brings pain and suffering.
And for those coming out of that type of environment, then the encouragement brings healing. Even just checking in on someone can go a long way because you don’t know what they’re going through. Being reminded of God’s promises in Scripture is also a source of encouragement and healing because we see that what God has promised, He will bring it to pass! We are to trust in the providence of God for He works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).
4. Exhortation
Exhortation in the context of the church entails a call to action to do God’s will. This primarily comes through the preaching of the Scriptures. Following the exposition of the sermon, the pastor typically ends with a call to action, in which believers are to take into account what was preached and apply it into their lives. This exhortation can include being aware of false teachings in the church that have done harm to some believers, ranging from the prosperity gospel to legalism. Members coming out of these types of teachings have much healing to do as it has affected how they view God, the Scriptures, and living the Christian life.
That awareness can then transition into the proper exhortation of the Bible so that they can understand what sound doctrine is like. For too long, there has been an abuse of the Scriptures from the pulpit that only results in deception, manipulation, and guilt. Therefore, we must get back to proper exhortation of the Scriptures to prevent further harm from taking place.
5. Humility Before the Lord
While there’s no such thing as a perfect church, the church is being made perfect. Therefore, the church should repent whenever spiritual abuse takes place and be humble before the Lord. Remember, Jesus is returning soon and each of us must provide an account before God (Romans 14:12). Therefore, it should be motivation to follow Him and honor Him with our lives. Humility is the antidote to arrogance, which is one characteristic seen in cases of spiritual abuse. And that humility is what churches must walk in and be reminded of as we serve God.
Not only do we have to provide an account before Him, but we are also witnesses to a lost and dying world. Let us, therefore, stay the course as the church in looking unto Jesus as the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:1), and that we would reflect Him in our lives, both inside and outside of church. We are witnesses before a lost and dying world, so let us show them the light of Christ through the preaching of the Gospel as well as reflect Him with our lives.
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Milton Quintanilla is a freelance writer and content creator. He is a contributing writer for CrosswalkHeadlines and the host of the For Your Soul Podcast, a podcast devoted to sound doctrine and biblical truth. He holds a Masters of Divinity from Alliance Theological Seminary.
