5 Prayers for the Heartache of a Rebellious Teen
Teens
Audio By Carbonatix
11:40 AM on Thursday, September 11
By Vivian Bricker, Teens
1. A Prayer for Open Communication
Interactions with teens can be a challenge all in themselves. Whenever we struggle with our teens' active rebellion, it is important to be open to communicating. Even if our teen is not open to communicating, we can continue to be open to them. Teens can be tricky, but sometimes what they need is a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. Be open to communicating with them and truly listen to their feelings when they open up.
It is easy to jump to defenses if our teen says something negatively about us, our spouse, or the family; however, it is important for us to listen to their feelings. While they may have different feelings from ours, this does not in any way mean their feelings are invalid. If we choose to become defensive of ourselves or another family member's actions or words, it could cause them to distance themselves from us. This is why we need to try to keep an open communication line for them.
"Dear Jesus, my teen and I don't tend to have the best communication skills. Please help me be open to communicating with them and to listening to their feelings. I don't want to invalidate their pain, struggles, or what is causing them to feel rebellious towards me. However, I do want to help them through this time and I cannot do this unless they are open to communicating with me too. Amen."
2. A Prayer for an Understanding Heart
As we are navigating this second day of the prayer guide, consider taking a second to reflect on the previous day. How are your heart and mind feeling today? It is good to reflect on your heart condition before today's prayer. We are going to be focusing on an understanding heart. Rather than being cold, aloof, or judgmental, we need to approach our rebellious teens with an understanding heart.
Moms and dads of rebellious teenagers can quickly become discouraged and frustrated when their teen is acting out, but we have to approach the situation with neutrality. Rather than starting an argument, we need to diffuse it before it happens. As mature patents, it is crucial for us to have an understanding heart even when our teen does not. We need to take the higher road and choose to understand them instead of casting judgment on them.
"Dear Jesus, please help me have an understanding heart toward my teen. They have been acting rebelliously, and it has caused me to lose my temper. Equip me with an understanding heart and help me meet them where they are. Thank You for listening to my prayers. Amen."
3. A Prayer for a Heart of Obedience to the Lord
Being understanding and nonjudgmental does not mean that we should not call our children to obedience. We need to teach them to be obedient to the Lord in everything. To love God is to obey Him (John 14:15). Since this is true, we don't need to allow our teens to behave indecently or inappropriately. However, when we approach these issues, we need to do so in a kind and loving manner.
Obedience is seen as a taboo word, but to obey the Lord is to truly live. By displaying our love and obedience to the Lord in our actions, it will help them to see the love of the Lord in our daily lives. Even if our teen continues with a rebellious heart, they will soon see the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:3-4). In the meantime, we can pray for them to develop a heart of obedience.
"Dear Jesus, my teen is struggling right now, but I ask You to help them develop a heart of obedience to You. It might take time for them to come around, but I trust in Your timing. For now, help me show Your love in my actions and the unfading beauty of a quiet spirit. Thank You, Lord. Amen."
4. A Prayer for the Well-Being of the Rest of the Family
When a teen is rebellious, it can make the entire family unit suffer. This was certainly true for my family when my eldest sister persisted in her rebellious ways. Instead of being a home of love, it was a home of stress, fights, and arguments. This is why it is important to work through these issues and turn to the Lord for support. While it is true that your teen most likely will not turn away from their rebellious ways overnight, prayer can do mighty things.
As you are praying today, try to pray for the rest of the family. The rest of the family includes yourself, your husband, and any other children. Chances are, they are struggling just as much as you are with their rebellion. Sadly, many parents overlook how one rebellious teen can affect the other children. Choose to be present with these other children, pour love into them, and lift them up in prayer. Even though they might not be voicing concerns, they need your help.
"Dear Jesus, please help my family during this time. My teen's rebellious behavior has caused the rest of the family to suffer. Please give the rest of my family the love, support, and hope they need. This is a challenging time for all of us, but I know You are faithful and will bring our hearts encouragement, love, and peace. I praise You, Amen."
5. A Prayer for Handling Conflicts in Kindness, Grace, and Love
When our teens' rebellious behaviors stress us, it is not uncommon for us to lash out or to say something hurtful to them. It is understandable to be stressed and concerned about our teens' behavior, but we must not handle ourselves in an inappropriate, hurtful manner. We have to always choose kindness, grace, and love. Since this is how the Father handles us as His children, we need to follow suit and also handle our own children this way. By doing this, we can handle conflicts in an holy, honorable, and biblical way.
The time will come when we will have to sit down with our teen and discuss their behaviors. This is especially true if their rebellious behaviors have caused them to get in trouble at school or with local law enforcement. When we sit down with them, we need to be kind and loving toward them. We might feel like doing the exact opposite, but this will only cause our teen to become defensive or act like we are the problem. This is why we need to be kind, graceful, and loving in the way we handle conflicts.
Of course, this is going to be difficult to do, but we are not alone in our parenting journey. We can bring all of our worries, concerns, and needs to the Lord's feet. This is precisely what we must do in this situation because many of us will struggle to keep composure when we are handling heated conflicts. Rather than allowing ourselves to grow angry, we can pray for God to help us. In this way, we will be allowing God to guide our steps rather than leaning on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).
"Dear Jesus, it is really hard to handle conflicts in a holy and constructive way. Please assist me in this area by helping me handle conflicts with kindness, grace, and love. I don't want to push my teen away or make them become even more distant from me. Give me strength and support, and also help them be willing to listen to my advice, too. I ask all of this in Your Name, Amen."
