13 Truths Every Teenage Boy Needs to Hear
Parenting
Audio By Carbonatix
4:30 AM on Tuesday, October 7
By Clarence L. Haynes Jr., Parenting
1. God's Will Is the Most Important Pursuit in Your Life
I am going to assume you have accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life. If you haven't, that is the most important issue you must address in your life. Once you have done that, then the most important thing to do after that is to pursue God's will. There is no greater pursuit in all your life. While you will probably hear repeatedly that your life has value and purpose, that is true. However, the ultimate purpose of your life is to accomplish what God has designed for you to do. This will not only have an impact in this life, but an eternal impact as well. Doing God's will is not the lesser choice; it will become the greatest and most fulfilling thing you will ever do in life. It won't always be easy, but when you look back, it will all be worth it.
2. The People You Surround Yourself with Matter
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 1 Corinthians 15:33
I don't want you to be deceived. The people you surround yourself with matter. The reason they matter is because of one word. Influence. People in your circle can influence how you think and how you act. You might believe you are strong enough to fend off their influences, but that is not usually how it works. The people who are closest to you will affect you, and there is no way around that. I want you to consider your five closest friends and consider their character and behavior. Ask yourself one question. Do you like what you see? I say this because what you see in them is what you will eventually see in yourself. Therefore, it is crucial that you choose the people in your circle wisely because these will be the ones influencing you along the way.
3. Asking for Help Is a Sign of Strength
While you may like the images of tough people who can endure many things and remain standing, that does not always come with wisdom. Strength does not mean you can handle everything on your own. Strength means you are comfortable enough in who you are to recognize when you need help. Many men have fallen by the wayside because they were too proud to admit they had a problem. Sad to say, there are many graves filled with these types of men. Let me say this loud and clear. Being vulnerable and admitting when things are not going well is okay. In fact, the Bible teaches us that we find our greatest strength not when we think we are strong but when we recognize our weaknesses.
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Don't be afraid to ask for help. That might be the only way you ever get it.
4. Expressing Emotion Is a Virtue, Not a Detriment
There used to be an image of men as the strong, silent type. This type of man was often devoid of emotion and, in many ways, disconnected from his emotions. This is not how God made you. Emotions are natural, normal, and healthy, so don't be afraid to express them. It is okay to laugh, cry, be joyous, be sad, and display the full range of human emotions. This, too, is not a sign of weakness but confidence in who you are.
5. Don't Become Consumed with What Others Say about You
While people's opinions of you matter to a degree, don't put too much stock in them. One thing I have discovered in life is that people will talk about you regardless of what you do (they talked about Jesus and he was perfect). Since you have no control over what people will say about you, don't become overly obsessed with it. What is most important is knowing what God says about you and living in those truths. People's opinion of you will change and can be misguided even if you do everything right. So focus on doing the right thing and let people have their own opinion.
6. Don't Be Afraid to Fail
You are going to fail in life at some point. It could be in the classroom or in the real world, but you will experience failure. In basketball, a shooter is considered great if they make 50 percent of their shots. This means they miss half the time. A great baseball player hits for a 300 average. This means they fail to get a hit 7 out of 10 times. It's possible these people fail a lot more than they win, but what is the difference? They never stop trying and learning. You may think that failure means God is through with you, but that is not true. God often teaches us the best lessons about himself and ourselves, not through our successes but through our failures. We learn about God's grace, mercy, forgiveness, and faithfulness, not when we do everything right but often when we don't. So, while you never set out to fail, just remember failure is not the end of the story, so don't be afraid to fail.
7. Your Words Have Power
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. - Proverbs 12:18
The words you speak can have two effects on people. They will either lift them up or tear them down. Here is the best part. You decide which words you are going to use. That means you determine if you will lift people up or tear them down. Think for a moment about the words that were spoken to you or about you. How did those words affect your life? You can be a person who motivates and encourages, or someone who literally destroys people. All of this can happen with your words, so guard them and use them wisely.
8. No Achievement Is Worth Ruining Your Good Name
A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. - Proverbs 22:1
When it is all said and done, all you really have is your name. It can take years to build your good name, and it can take seconds to destroy it. That's why there is no achievement that is worth sacrificing your good name. Your good name does not come just from your accomplishments but more from the way you treat others. Long after people remember what you do, they will remember your kindness and how you made them feel. These things are what build your good name, and you should do nothing to destroy that name. The expression goes, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. Sometimes you never get a second chance to rebuild your good name, so guard it because it is the most desirable thing you have.
9. It's Not What You Do in the Light That Defines You, But What You Do in the Dark
When I was younger, one leader in the children's ministry gave me a card with a handwritten quote, and I have never forgotten it.
"Character is who you are when no one is watching."
In this social media, meme, and video shorts driven world we live in, many take great care to present an image of their lives. However, that snapshot may not represent who that person really is. The person you are when no one is watching, or when you think no one is watching, is who you really are. So many men have fallen because they were not the people they projected themselves to be. That's why you should focus all your attention on being the person God desires you to be when no one is watching. If you do this, then you will be everything God desires you to be when the entire world is watching.
But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. -Matthew 6:6 (NKJV)
10. Your Decisions Determine Your Future
Your choices matter because every choice you make has a consequence attached to it. We live in a world of cause and effect. The choices you make are the cause, and the consequences are the effect. Every decision does not have the same effect on your life, but the decisions you make determine your destiny. Yes, God can forgive poor decisions and even help you overcome them. However, it is far better to not make them in the first place.
11. Flee from Sexual Temptation
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually sins against their own body. - 1 Corinthians 6:18
We live in a supercharged sexual society. There are sexual images everywhere you turn and in many of the things you watch on television and online. You may think it is a good idea to express yourself sexually or sow your oats while you are young. That is not a good idea from a spiritual, moral, and practical sense. Engaging in sexual activity outside of the marital relationship can result in pregnancy, disease, addiction, emotional distress, and many other issues associated with it. I don't have time to express all the realities of what can happen when you live a sexually immoral lifestyle. Just know that once the pleasure is gone, pain is often left behind.
12. Your Identity Is in Christ
One thought you should keep at the forefront of your mind is your identity is in Christ. Any path to discovering who you are should begin with your relationship with Jesus. You are in Christ, which makes you a child of God, and regardless of what the world thinks or says about you, that truth will not change. If you form your identity from the world, that identity can change. If you find your identity in Christ, that will remain both now and for all eternity.
13. God Will Never Stop Loving You
The last truth I want to leave with you is that God loves you and will never stop loving you. Love does not mean he will accept everything you do—remember, God is holy and has standards—but love means he will never stop reaching, providing, and caring for you. Even if everyone around you falls away, God will be there with open arms, ready to embrace you—not because you deserve it but simply because he loves you.
There are plenty more things I could share but I believe these give you a good foundational starting point. Go live and grow into the person God created you in Christ to be. When you do that it will be the best version of you the world will ever see.
