7 Ways to Care for Your Physical and Mental Well-Being Postpartum
Parenting
Audio By Carbonatix
1:00 PM on Friday, October 10
By Katie T. Kennedy, Parenting
1. It’s the Little Things
After having a baby sometimes it’s the little things that provide just the mental lift you need. You don’t need a trip somewhere grand, just focus on a few daily pleasures that will help revive your spirits.
Taking a shower every day can be shockingly restorative. Usually, I’m always cold; however, after having a child and while nursing, my temperature runs hot, and I find myself perspiring more than normal. A shower does wonders for my spirits. I feel like a new person after this simple achievement.
Clothes. No one thinks about clothes much after having a baby, but once that baby comes out, you are tired of those maternity clothes you have been recycling for months. Your regular clothes don’t fit, naturally because your hips have widened in the process to allow that precious child to enter the world.
Instead of having an emotional breakdown, acknowledge the fact that your body is a little different right now, and that’s okay. Purchase a few new (or used), comfortable items that accommodate your current shape. I go up a size in clothes to accommodate my nursing chest and expanded hips. I’m not saying to break the bank, but a few new items that fit properly and are comfortable can do wonders for your spirits.
A hot cup of tea or coffee can give you a little pep in your step after a long night. Obviously, too much caffeine isn’t recommended for you or your baby, but a piping hot cup of your favorite beverage can be motivating to get out of bed. Prepare as much as you can the night before (put water in the kettle, grind your beans, etc.). Make that drink easy to prepare in the morning, or better yet have someone else make it for you.
2. Gratitude
Expressing gratitude can go a long way in lifting your mental state. It’s so easy to feel discouraged, overwhelmed, exhausted, and many other emotions. If you find yourself down, try giving thanks. List off all the things at that moment that you can give thanks for.
Give thanks for the small and big things: the hot beverage you have in front of you, the fact that your baby is healthy and growing, and the safe dwelling you find yourself in. How about the incredible fact that we can order anything we need to our home without having to load up our little one and drag them to the store.
Keep seeking out things to be thankful for. You will be surprised by how many you can find throughout your day. What about when your little one smiles back at you, or laughs? Enjoy and give thanks to the Lord for these precious moments. When giving gratitude becomes a habit, you will find yourself spotting the good more often.
I have one child in eleventh grade who is starting to think about college. The precious baby moments won’t last forever. Enjoy them while you can, even amid your sleep deprivation.
Obviously, if you find yourself constantly down and having that cloud follow you for days and months, you may want to discuss this with your doctor. Postpartum depression is real and serious, and doesn’t have to be a permanent state, so get help if you need to. There is no shame in reaching out if you are struggling.
3. Take Care of Your Physical Needs
Having a baby takes a toll on your body. There are things no one tells you about, like all that beautiful hair that you spent months gaining will fall out all at once, or at least it feels that way. You find your hair everywhere.
Taking care of your body allows you to care for your baby. They are dependent on you for everything. You can’t do this well if you are depleted.
If you are nursing, it takes a lot of work for your body to constantly produce milk so make sure you are eating correctly. This is not the time to be weighing yourself and trying to strip off the baby weight. That will come later. Now is the time for you to eat well and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
I know with my first child, I couldn’t get downstairs before noon. I would nurse, change diapers, shower, and be starving because it was time to do it all over again. My solution was to bring a box of granola bars upstairs, so I’d have a quick something to eat.
Make sure you have some easy-to-grab protein options, such as a protein shake, to grab whenever you get hungry. Don’t neglect your body’s communication. When you are exhausted—rest. When you are hungry—eat. If you feel like the four walls of your house are closing in on you—go for a walk or plan an outing with a friend.
Sometimes you need a little Vitamin D. On a sunny day, put that baby down for a nap and sit outside and soak up the sun for twenty minutes. A little sunshine will do wonders for the soul. Put off the dishes and laundry temporarily and enjoy the breeze, enjoy nature, and bathe in God’s sunlight.
4. Asking for Help
Since my girls are older, my family didn’t think we needed the meal chain that was offered after our baby boy joined our family. I disagreed. I knew I needed all the help we could get. Even though I have multiple family members capable of cooking meals, I accepted all the delicious meals being offered by family and friends.
Have your resources and don’t be afraid to ask them questions. Mothers, new or experienced, need to build their team of resources. They need their doctors to answer medical questions, they need experienced church women who can help provide perspective, they need lactation consultants for assistance with nursing, and so on.
This is my fourth baby I have nursed, so you would think I’d have mastered things by now. However, even though things are easier after you make it through baby number one, every baby is different. Each child I have makes me realize how much I can still learn, only now I am wiser to reach out and ask for help.
After visiting a lactation consultation with this baby, I marveled at how helpful they are. I was probably a little scared, unsure, and uncomfortable about scheduling a visit with my first child. Now, I’m just absorbing all the information/assistance I can.
Don’t be scared or ashamed to ask for help. We all need help at different times, even the most experienced of moms.
5. You Are Enough
Sleep deprivation and feeling unqualified for the job ahead can evoke thoughts of shame or comparison. Is my baby developing like they should? Am I doing enough? How come my baby can’t do what the neighbor’s baby can. Am I the right mom to raise this child?
Let me answer all those questions for you. YES! Yes, you are enough, yes, God has chosen you to raise this child. Yes, you are the perfect parents to help guide and shepherd this baby into childhood and beyond.
How do I know this? Because God doesn’t make mistakes. Whatever your background and experience, it’s exactly what your child needs. Of course, we constantly need the help of the Holy Spirit to guide and direct us. Don’t discount prayer and reading your Bible as a source of guidance. Just like our child, we are a work in progress. We will make plenty of mistakes as He refines us all. God knows what He’s doing. Don’t question whether you are the right person; you are! You were made for a time such as this (Esther 4:14).
Having those doubts and questions is normal, however don’t let them remain too long. Rest in the promise that God will equip you as necessary for the journey ahead.
6. Embrace the Unpredictable
You will have days when you are rocking this mom thing. They will sleep when you put them down, be happy and coo at you, and not be fussy. Then you will have other days when you aren’t sure you are cut out for this job. Your hormones may be raging, you might be severely sleep deprived, or lots of other reasons. Just remember, this is all normal. Just get through the rough days with the hope that tomorrow will be better.
As Christians, we must look to heaven when things seem overwhelming around us. Mothering is no different. Remember, there will be difficult times in parenting, but God’s mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Read the parenting books, be as prepared as you can. But don’t beat yourself up because your baby isn’t following the sleep plan perfectly. When they are older, they will sleep just fine by themselves. You will forget all about how they skipped a nap and were fussy.
If one nap, or day, or even a week is completely off schedule and things seem like they are going haywire, don’t beat yourself up. Keep the big picture in focus, and don’t get too hung up on the little things.
Plan, hold it loosely, and then go with the flow. As soon as you figure something out about your baby, they will change, and you will be starting over again. Some days will run smoothly, and others will be a disaster. There is peace in knowing you are on a rollercoaster ride, try to enjoy the ride.
7. You Are Not Alone
The biggest tip I can give you for caring for yourself is to remember that you are not in this alone. There is a Heavenly Father who loves you unconditionally and wants you to succeed. He is there when you need Him. He’s watching you feed that little one in the wee hours of the morning. He sees you do that diaper change for the twentieth time that day. Or when the blow out happens, and you must figure out how to clean the car seat and put it back together before the next departure, He’s with you.
Your spiritual routine might be different after a baby, and that’s okay. You can pray while you are nursing, asking for guidance, protection, and energy for you to withstand the hard days. Ask for the Holy Spirit to provide you joy and gratitude you may not be feeling for that screaming baby. God is with you during the entire journey. He will never leave you or forsake you. “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
If you are feeling alone, try to remind yourself you are not! God is and always will be with you. If negative thoughts are clouding your brain, they are not from the Lord. The evil one tries to remove the joy that God has planned for you. If this is you, I have seven words for you to repeat anytime those negative thoughts start flying in. “Satan, I rebuke you in Jesus’ name.” Practice that phrase and memorize it. Satan flees in the presence of Jesus’ name. This phrase has never failed me.
Motherhood is hard work, but it is so worth it! Even though I’m part of the geriatric mom’s club, mothers who walk by me changing a diaper in the back of my SUV will tell me not to blink because if I do, they will be all grown up. Having a sixteen-year-old, I understand what they are saying. It does fly by. It is hard, but man, is it worth every second. Try to enjoy the process as much as you can, knowing it’s not easy. But then again, things that are easy usually aren’t worth doing.
