Community Is a Gift, Not Your Source
Relationships
Audio By Carbonatix
By Gina Smith, Crosswalk.com
Community is not optional; scripture makes that clear. From the earliest days of the church, believers were meant to live in fellowship. We are meant to pray together, encourage one another, confess our sins, carry one another's burdens, and worship side by side. Community is God’s design. But it was never meant to be our focus.
The biblical community has a higher purpose: it is meant to strengthen us in God, not make us dependent on the people within it, because people come and go, but God remains constant.
God’s Design for Life Together
The New Testament is filled with “one another” commands that describe true biblical community. We are called to:
● Pray for one another (Ephesians 6:18)
● Encourage and build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
● Exhort and admonish one another (Hebrews 3:13; Romans 15:14)
● Love one another (John 13:34)
● Carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)
● Serve and forgive one another (Galatians 5:13; Ephesians 4:32)
● Confess our sins to one another (James 5:16)
● Gather regularly for worship and encouragement (Hebrews 10:24–25)
These are not suggestions – they are biblical commands. Community was designed to strengthen us, sharpen us, and help us pursue Christ together. And for many of us, community feels like a lifeline. But here is the tension:
Community is a gift. It is not our source.
When Community Is Taken Away
This conviction did not come from theology alone. It came from my life experience of learning to lean on God when dear ones left for some reason or the community was not available.
In my 20s, one of my dearest friends and strongest support systems passed away from cancer at just 28 years old. She was vibrant and full of faith. She had walked with me through one of the hardest seasons of my life. Her illness was fast. Her absence was permanent. And the loss shook my younger self in a way I can’t describe.
In my 30s, my closest friend – someone I had shared life, family vacations, and deep conversations with – abruptly ended our relationship without explanation. No warning. No closure. Just silence. To this day, I do not know why she ended our friendship. There was no explanation and no final conversation. I had unanswered questions that I had to release to God as I grieved the loss and learned to depend on Him more deeply.
In my 40s, a dear college friend I had walked into motherhood with left her husband, and slowly slipped into a self-destructive lifestyle after years of battling mental health struggles. Watching her unravel brought a slow, confusing grief. The kind where the person still exists, but the friendship you once knew no longer does. It taught me that I could not carry her or fix her. Only Christ could.
In my 50s, the Christian college community we had poured our lives into for years came to an end when the small college we worked for closed its doors. This was not just the loss of a job; it was the loss of a unique and deeply loved community. Yet, in that ending, God brought me closer to Him and made me more focused on Him and my identity, which is found in Him alone.
And now, in this current season, my dear friend and mentor of more than 25 years is entering hospice. The woman who taught me how to walk faithfully with God is now teaching me how to prepare to stand before Him. As her earthly strength fades, her spiritual strength seems even more visible – a quiet reminder that God is faithful even at the very end of life.
There have also been long seasons when a regular Christian community was not there. No small group. No tight circle. No consistent gathering of like-minded believers. Just God and His Word. Which leads to a sobering but necessary question:
What would your relationship with God look like if the community you depend on disappeared? Would you consider yourself to have a strong faith? Would you find that you are walking with God?
Sometimes God allows our community to be gently removed – not because He does not value it, but because He wants us to learn that the foundation of our faith can only be strong when it is in Him alone.
The Danger of Misplaced Dependence
The danger is not in loving community deeply but in depending on it ultimately. If our hearts are anchored primarily in people, then when those people leave, fail, or die, our spiritual footing begins to slip. But if the community has been strengthening us in God, then even when it disappears, our faith holds firm.
Psalm 62:5–6 says: “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly, He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.”
Community was never meant to be your fortress. God alone is.
Jonathan and David: Strengthened in God
We see the true purpose of community in the friendship between Jonathan and David. While David was hiding from Saul, Scripture tells us: “Jonathan… rose and went to David at Horesh and strengthened his hand in God.” (1 Samuel 23:16)
Jonathan did not strengthen David’s dependence on him. He strengthened his reliance on God. He reminded David of God’s promises and faithfulness, and then he left. Jonathan understood that if David’s strength rested solely on their friendship, it would not last. It had to be rooted in the Lord. This is what biblical community does. It prepares us to stand even when the friend is no longer standing beside us.
God Remains When People Cannot
Psalm 73:26 has become more than a verse to me – it has become a lifeline: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
People fail – not always intentionally. Sometimes simply because they are human. Life ends. But God does not fail. And truly, a healthy community reinforces that truth.
This is not a call to abandon community. It is a call to pursue it correctly. Hebrews 10:24–25 reminds us not to neglect meeting together, but to stir one another up toward love and good works. We are commanded to gather, encourage one another, and walk together. But Galatians 6:2 clarifies our role: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We help carry the weight— but Christ remains the One who truly carries us.
And Hebrews 13:8 anchors us in this truth: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Community changes. Friendships fluctuate. Seasons shift. But Christ remains the same.
Abiding in the True Source
Jesus reminds us in John 15:5: “I am the vine; you are the branches… apart from Me you can do nothing.” We do not derive our life from others. We draw life from Christ. Community is one of the ways He nourishes us, but He alone is the Source. So, there is a question we must ask:
If the community you love most today suddenly disappeared, would your faith collapse, or would you cling even more tightly to God? Your answer will reveal whether the community has strengthened your dependence on Christ, or if it is replacing it, becoming nothing more than a “friend group”.
People come and go. Seasons change. And even the best communities will one day shift or fade. But God does not. And when the community has done its sacred work, it leaves us standing – not on relationships, but on the Rock who never moves.
Let’s Pray
Father God, thank You for the gift of community, for the people who pray with us, walk with us, and strengthen us. Forgive us for the times we have leaned more on people than on You. Teach us how to hold community loosely, with gratitude but not with dependency. Strengthen our hearts so that when relationships change, institutions close, or dear ones are taken home, our faith remains steady. May our lives and friendships always point back to You, the unchanging Rock, our portion forever. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages
Gina Smith is a wife of 37 years, mom of 2, and grandma of 3. She is a writer and author, writing her very first published book in her empty nest years. She has a passion to come alongside the younger generation to encourage them, strengthen them in God, and learn from them. You can find Gina at her website www.ginalsmith.com, and her book Everyday Prayers for Joy can be found anywhere books are sold. 
