10 Bible Verses for Infant Loss (with Biblical Insights and Encouraging Quotes)
Parenting
Audio By Carbonatix
4:30 AM on Monday, September 29
By Samantha Evans Tschritter, Parenting
“You could have stopped this!” I peddled harder on an incline. My lungs gulped for air. “You could have … saved my baby.” What was the use in believing in an all-powerful God who loved me, if He wouldn’t pitch in when I needed Him?
When I tortured myself with exercise, the emotional pain of miscarriage subsided—usually. But that day, my method wasn’t working. I aimed words at God like sucker punches. “How could You do this to me?” Yet, deeper than my need for answers lay my desperate belief that God would, one day, make all things right.
October is Infant Loss Awareness Month, which often brings me back to the weeks following my first miscarriage and the questions I asked myself. Where is God in my pregnancy loss? Why does God allow infant loss? Is my pregnancy loss my fault?
If you’ve experienced infant loss, maybe you’ve asked many of the same questions. Why did God take my baby? Did I cause my infant loss?
In this article, I will:
- Share 10 Bible verses about infant loss
- Discuss each Scripture passage that mentions infant loss
- Answer tough questions to the best of my ability
- Explain God’s promise to Rachel
- Share ten quotes about infant loss
As I cruised on a decline toward the foothills of the Cascade Range, God broke our standoff. Job 38 collided with my memory with the force of an oncoming car. “Brace yourself, and I will question you. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” With one question, God reminded me which one of us was God.
That night, I opened my Bible for the first time in a month and scoured the pages, searching for God’s promise of hope. Here are some of my favorite takeaways:
10 Encouraging Bible Verses for Infant Loss:
Some of these Bible verses are encouraging in an obvious way, but some are encouraging because they demonstrate solidarity. Biblical characters went through similar struggles and anguish with infant loss and reading their words and experiences can be a balm to our souls.
- Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope;
even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.
~ Zechariah 9:12 - “Did I ask you for a son, my lord?” she said. “Didn’t I tell you, ‘Don’t raise my hopes’?”
~ 2 Kings 4:28 - And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish.
~ 1 Samuel 1:10 - “A voice was heard in Ramah, wailing and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be consoled, because they are no more.”
~ Matthew 2:18 - Then all his sons and daughters attempted to console him, but he refused to be comforted and said, “I will go down to Sheol (the place of the dead) in mourning for my son.” And his father wept for him.
~ Genesis 37:35 - In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
~ Romans 8:26 - Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me will live, even though they die. Everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
~ John 11:25-26 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
~ Philippians 4:6-7 - When I lie down I think, ‘How long before I get up?’
The night drags on, and I toss and turn until dawn.
~ Job 7:4 - Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
~ Psalm 130:1-2
Does Scripture Talk about Pregnancy Loss?
Usually, when churches study Bible passages that mention infant loss, pregnancy loss details are unintentionally glossed over. You’ve likely read the stories dozens of times. Most often, the focus of the story is on:
- Solomon’s wisdom, rather than the mother whose baby died of SIDS. (1 Kings 3:16-26)
- Israel’s exodus from Egypt, rather than the death of the firstborn sons (Exodus 12:29-30)
- Jesus’ survival, rather than the deaths of male children ages two and under (Matthew 2:13-18)
- The miraculous births of Isaac, Samuel, and John the Baptist, rather than the years of infertility felt by their mothers (Genesis 18, 1 Samuel 1, Luke 1)
- The faith of the bleeding woman, rather than the woman’s fibroids, polyps, or endometriosis (Luke 8:42-50).
- David dancing undignified before the LORD, rather than Michal not bearing children (2 Samuel 6)
- David’s sin, rather than the death of his child (2 Samuel 12:19-24)
1. The Mother in the Old Testament Whose Baby Died of SIDS: 1 Kings 3:16-26
I’m 44 years old and I still remember Sunday school stories taught on flannelgraph—Bible characters printed on pieces of felt and arranged on a trifold felt board. That’s how long I’ve known the story of “Solomon’s wise ruling,” the story of two women who gave birth on the same night. One mother’s baby dies, and she swaps her dead child for the living child. As a young girl, I thought, “Wow. That woman was nuts.” I had zero context for pregnancy and words like “hormones,” “postpartum depression,” and “grief.” As an adult mother, I understand. Of course the woman was out of her mind; she had just lost her baby. Her infant loss doesn’t justify her actions, but certainly explains them.
2. The Night Every Household Throughout the Nation Lost a Son: Exodus 12:29-30
“At midnight, the LORD struck down all the firstborn in Egypt” (Exodus 12:29). Usually, when we study this passage, we root for the Israelites’ escape and leave the families in Egypt behind. Males died, from elderly men to newborns—at the same moment. I also speculate that hundreds of first-time moms miscarried or experienced stillbirth at the exact same time. “And there was loud waling in Egypt,” (Exodus 29:30) which, to my mind, doesn’t begin to describe the sound created by the simultaneous cry of every broken heart in Egypt.
3. Murder of Boys Two-Years-Old and Younger: Matthew 2:13-18
Again, relief for Jesus’s survival overshadows Herod’s wrath. Roman soldiers busted doors of homes in Bethlehem and surrounding areas, ripped babies and children from loving arms, and killed them.
4. The Disgrace of Infertility: Genesis 21:1-7, 1 Samuel 1, Luke 1
Hannah was mocked, and throughout Sarah and Elizabeth’s decades of infertility, they likely battled shame, disappointment, and doubt regarding their faith.
5. The Woman with Fibroids, Polyps, or Endometriosis: Luke 8:42-50
The woman in this story was likely between the ages of twenty-five and fifty. We don’t know her diagnosis, but oftentimes vaginal bleeding is caused by fibroids, polyps, or endometriosis. She bled for twelve years, limiting her chances of getting pregnant or carrying a child to full term. When Jesus heals her body, he also rewrites her future.
6. Michal bears no children until her death: 2 Samuel 6
Michal chastises David for undressing and dancing by the Ark of the Covenant. Scripture says she bore no children until the day of her death. There are three critical details to note.
- Michal may have previously birthed children, as 2 Samuel 21:8 possibly suggests.
- The Bible does not say God punished Michal with infertility or closed her womb. This is a crucial distinction. Infertility is not a punishment from God. Infertility, a struggle for 10 percent of women, is the result of living in a broken world.
- David’s remark about God choosing him as king over Michal’s father suggests a longstanding tension between the couple. Possibly, Michal never bore more children because David never laid with her again.
7. Bathsheba’s Week-Old Baby Dies: 2 Samuel 12:19-24
This story, if misinterpreted, can have dangerous consequences to the spiritual life of parents whose faith is struggling as a result of miscarriage, stillbirth, or early infant loss. Let’s use this story to tackle some really hard questions.
Is My Pregnancy Loss My Fault?
Please stop blaming yourself for your infant loss. The miscarriage was not your fault.
Plenty of women have healthy pregnancies who:
- Lift heavy amounts of weight
- Participate in hardcore exercise
- Drink alcohol before they know they're pregnant
- Sin
Nothing you did caused the miscarriage. Miscarriages, often caused by chromosomal abnormalities, just happen. When I think about the intricacy required to create a human, I’m honestly shocked that miscarriages aren’t more common.
Second Samuel 12 says David and Bathsheba’s baby’s death was the direct result of David’s sin. This does not mean 21st-century parents experience child loss as a result of a specific sin. Today, much like the Israelites at the first Passover, we live beneath the threshold of God’s new promise—our sins are redeemed by Jesus’s sacrifice.
Why Does God Allow Infant Loss and Why Are Some Women Infertile?
God’s plan is unfinished.
Death was not introduced to the world until after Adam and Eve sinned. Death, even perinatal death, is a result of the fall. Of God’s promised land, God says, “and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span” (Exodus 23:26). There will be a day with no more death, no more grief.
Jeremiah describes Rachel weeping for Judah as the Israelites are carried into exile in Babylon. Of Rachel’s grief God says,
“Thus says the Lord:
“Keep your voice from weeping,
and your eyes from tears,
for there is a reward for your work,
declares the Lord,
and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.
There is hope for your future,
declares the Lord,
and your children shall come back to their own country” (Jeremiah 31:16-17).
There will be a day when God reunites us with our children. According to Matthew 25:21, the day we enter heaven Jesus will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” I believe to parents of child loss, Jesus will add, “There’s someone here I want you to meet.”
Where Is God in My Pregnancy Loss?
He's with you.
During Infant Loss Awareness Month, or whenever grief hits you unaware, cling to these characteristics of God:
- God is El-Roi, “the God who sees me” (Genesis 21:11-20)
- God is Emmanuel, “God with us” (Matthew 1:22-23)
- God is near the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18)
If you have experienced child loss, there is a child in heaven who knows your name is “Mom” or “Dad.” You became parents the moment you conceived. Your children are alive in heaven because they existed on earth.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,” 2 Corinthians 1:3
Let me close with these—
10 Encouraging Quotes for Infant Loss
- "Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve." ~ Earl Grollman
- “I didn’t want to hear any of the sorry, gushy yaza yaza stuff.” ~ Lona, Love Letters to Miscarriage Moms
- My tears turned to brine, to a bitter and burning sensation of loss that tears could no longer express.” ~ Jerry Sittser
- “When a child dies, you bury the child in your heart.” ~ Korean Proverb
- “She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.” ~ George Eliot
- “The holiest of holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart: The secret anniversaries of the heart.” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
- “The first and last sound you heard was my heart.” ~ Samantha Evans Tschritter
- “The healing power of even the most microscopic exchange with someone who knows in a flash precisely what you’re talking about because she experienced that thing too cannot be overestimated.” ~ Cheryl Strayed
- A person’s a person, no matter how small. ~ Dr. Suess
10. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." ~ A.A. Milne
If you've experienced infant loss, I know your pain. You don't have to carry it alone. This article on "Ways to Start Healing after a Miscarriage" may also be of help to you.
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Alexey_M
Author Samantha Evans Tschritter, The Grief Advocate: Unedited, specializes in articulating grief and loss, hope and healing. Learn more at LoveUnedited.com or find her on social media at Linktr.ee/LoveSamEvans.
